Word. I actually agree with a lot of what you're saying, I've spent near 10 years in the mental health circuit for major depression disorder, and anxiety; the majority of it largely being a complete fucking wash. I was essentially agoraphobic for a few years in my late teens, therapists were largely no help. I'd tell myself and others that I just enjoyed being alone, but looking back on it I think I was lying to myself, because I didn't really know what it felt like to be happy either so I didn't strive for it. It took me a long time to realize that just because a therapist has their PsyD or a doctorate doesn't mean that they'll gel with you and be effective at their job, which really sucks to think about. I've had to shop around a lot for therapists, and I think in that time I've had one therapist who actually did a stellar job and helped me out a lot, but I ended up moving and I had to stop seeing her. For 3 years I medicated myself by abusing benzodiazepines in really disgusting quantities to keep my anxiety at what I perceived was manageable levels, I thought it was what I honestly needed to help live without anxiety, but if anyone's familiar with addiction they know that it usually has a really dark end once someone 'bottoms out'. If I would have read this thread at any other time in my life I'd probably be responding largely the same as other people in this thread, but I recently completed an intensive outpatient program that really got me up on my two feet and made me feel like I could sincerely function in the world again. Before I went in, I had pretty much resigned myself to a few more years of living real miserably before putting a gun in my mouth, so it's a massive massive shift in my outlook and hope for the future, and after experiencing it I just really want to tell other people that they definitely have a chance, but I know just as well that when you're in a dark state that hope seems impossible.