Midniteoyl
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Notice those are Regional Truck tires?
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- Thread starter kelli
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Awww is she in your lap?
Sorta, she's too long and heavy for a comfy lap-cat,but we compromise and share the La-Z-Boy.
I hava purple microfiber pillow she digs, I wedge it in on the side and she lays on it against me with my arm around her.
Sleepy-Kitteh...Zoning off...
I ended up just getting up off the chair and let her stretch out...heh
She's curled up on the pillow now having some Zzzz...
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Awww
So here goes. I hit puberty when I was 11. That same year my parents got a divorce. I have been depressed since that time. I got on birth control and anti depressants when I was a teenager, attempted suicide, was hospitalized for two weeks, and had a therapist for a while. He was a nice guy but didn't really help me. When I was 15 I was raped. That led to a lot or risky behaviors, self mutilation, drugs, and self hatred. That was 15 years ago and honestly I've come to terms with my depression and grown up a lot. Normally I am a pretty sane person nowadays but years and months and months of pain, hormonal imbalances, and medications combined with sleep deprivation tend to make me weepy and hostile to myself and others. I have been fighting with doctors for well over three years and I am exhausted. The pain is interfering with my psychological health as well as my physical health. I don't know the cause, neither do any of the doctors. However if I could talk myself out of the constant pain believe me I would. I can't even go grocery shopping for fucks sake, I have to send my husband with a list or ride a motorized scooter. I feel like a broken individual but I am a survivor and I will figure out how to make it better if it takes the rest of my life, I am not going to live like this without a fight.
Takes a lot of courage to share that with us.
And a lot of courage and determination to continue to persevere.
You're an incredibly strong young lady
My next course of action is to get a potassium sensitivity test to see if I have interstitial cystitis. It is usually misdiagnosed and can cause chronic pelvic pain and nerve damage. Its basically inflammation of the bladder. My best friend has it and was misdiagnosed as pcos for years too. It is sad we have to do the research and demand someone do these tests because the people who went to medical school can't figure it out
Was hoping the pelvic pain specialist would think of that but I can't wait for much longer so I emailed my family Dr to see if he knows where I can get it done. They give you a catheter of water and one with potassium in it.if the potassium makes the pain worse than the water then you probably have interstitial cystitis as normal people can't tell the difference
I knew a good bit of that before and still like ya.
You know a good bit of my story too....we are survivors. We will persevere.
Shitty lives can only get better, right?
*hugs*
Sad,yes,but true. My folks were a doctor and RN, they taught me to never trust doctors...irony?
I can't really equate mine with yours though..my scars are on the inside.
Mental/Sociological/Emotional abuse we've all had...but I was never physically abused, other than neglect and asocialization.
The best thing my mother the PA ever taught me was how to walk out against medical advice. If they refuse to allow me to have an opinion or accept my decisions as valid I will take my business elsewhere.
moecat
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Love your spirit - wouldn't change a thing about you, except of course your current physical pain which we all hope gets resolved soon. Keep on fighting!
moecat
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No, not all people
Thanks, I really do appreciate the support. Sometimes its the only fuel I'm running on
IMO the ones (scars, pain) on the inside hurt 1000 times worse than the ones on the outside.
moecat
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Believe me, if I had a friend who even remotely experienced what you're currently enduring, I would've PM'd you her contact info long ago.
Similar to what others have previously posted, I've also been largely silent to what you've written because I don't have the knowledge to give you sound advice. More importantly, I don't want to give you wrong or bad advice. Doesn't mean that I - and others - don't care.
I get that...I don't have anyone IRL except my 'crazy' uncle and my cat. Both of which I'm grateful for.
On here, we can be just regular humans...valued as-is and part of something.
Yeah. It took me 25 years to get OK with my childhood and its affects, but it is MY life now. Not theirs.
They kept me prisoner for 13 years...but that isn't a whole life.
I accept now that I won't ever have a "normal" life. That, was the turning point for me that eased the stress and fear of trying to fit in. I have what I need.
This is one of the many reasons why I love being here with you wonderful people that I truly consider as my friends.I get that...I don't have anyone IRL except my 'crazy' uncle and my cat. Both of which I'm grateful for.
On here, we can be just regular humans...valued as-is and part of something.
kelli
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kelli
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I don't have a good answer for that....
I had to hit bottom several times first...but at a point I just let it go. Am I still angry..oh yeah. Do I feel like they stole my future? Sure I do.
But, it is what it is. Even DSHS had never seen a case like mine before, so how can I assume to understand it?
I can only accept that which I cannot change, and change what I can accept to the better.
kelli
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kelli
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so misbehave.
Well, Thanks.
Thanks to SSI/SS, I've had a stable home since 2001...which is a record.
You are luckier...you have work you can keep, a real house and a future. ;-)
Plus, yer wayy hotter than me...lol... ;P
kelli
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Well, Thanks.
Thanks to SSI/SS, I've had a stable home since 2001...which is a record.
You are luckier...you have work you can keep, a real house and a future. ;-)
Plus, yer wayy hotter than me...lol... ;P
it's all tenuous, dear. i've lost everything before and could again. but right now (knock on wood) things are ok for the most part. hugs. ♥
Here, take this:
OTOH....U of W is beating the Oregon State Beavers...
I can admit to also conquering some beavers while I was visiting at UW....
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Yuppers. I know that well.....I have nightmares about losing SSI and being homeless at 50...not awesome.
TMI
Yeah, well, I got the hat from my ex....apparently for good behavior...lolz
Dorm rooms suck though...too easy to break things....ack...
That was in the 90's though...ancient history.
Awww... why TY. I'm just me. I was raised to be some sort of a genius/gentleman kind by my crazy parents, but that didn't quite pan out...lol.
Sometimes I'm psychotic, sometimes, I'm nice...most times I'm somewhere in the middle.
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Good Morning, everyone!..............Sunday morning you go to church.................?
"It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry." ---------Russian Proverb
"Likewise, one's happiness or unhappiness is entirely the reflection of the balance of good and bad causes accumulated in one's life. No one can blame others for his misfortunes."
"It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry." ---------Russian Proverb
"Likewise, one's happiness or unhappiness is entirely the reflection of the balance of good and bad causes accumulated in one's life. No one can blame others for his misfortunes."
Oooooh, u a bad one! No, really. I remember getting turned on to that stuff when I was like 18 or 19 and I flipped my wig! DeadlyThis stuff seriously is the crack of chocolate I went for this when I first woke up!! Before my vape!
That's a wow! So were you sitting there vaping, staring off into space when you saw this?
Good morning
