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My friend is addicted to MY vape

This is my first post so i hope i’m not breaking any rules!

I have been vaping for a little over 3 years and have never had a problem sharing my vape with my friend or even strangers. My friends would occasionally take a few hits of my vape and i wouldn’t mind, but one of my closer friends started asking for it more frequently and i still wouldn’t mind. But as time went on he started using it more and more.

Fast forward to the present and he is now midly addicted to nicotine and is constantly using my vape. He vapes almost as much as me when we are at school and it is starting to get really annoying. He is a really good friend and he will always ask for permission before he uses it which i respect but i have a very hard time saying no.

I live in europe and nicotine prices have really gone up in the last years. My friend knows this and would very occasionally give me like $12 (he has given it to me twice) but it doesn’t come close to the amount of money i spend on his addiction. I try to keep the cost low, making my own coils and juice but as a student without a job it’s starting to become a problem. I hate taking money from my friends and i could tell him to pay for the liquid he uses but he has even less money than me. Another problem is that i don’t know how much juice he is using and therefor can’t put a price on his consumption.

And to make it worse he will always mess up my coils in my MTL RDA even if i tell him not to rip like a sub ohm he somehow still ends up destroying the coils.

I’m going to rant a little more so hang in there

I think he is starting to notice that i get annoyd when he asks for vape because he sometimes ask if i mind him using my vape and i always tell him that it is not a problem(I know this one is on me)

From what i have noticed i don’t really know if he is addicted because he can last several days without nicotine when i’m not in school.
I believe that he thinks it is cool to have an addiction because when we are around friends or a group of people he would ask me ”(my name), am i addicted to nicotine?” (Weird right?? How would i know?) but i say yes because he has told me that he is. He will also ask for me vape when we are at places where you shouldn’t vape(in class, in the buss or train etc) and sometimes i tell him no but when i do let him i noticed that he tries to make people look at him when he vapes, i think he likes the attention it gives him.

The worst part about this is that i have offred him one of my old vapes that i don’t use and he doesn’t want it because he doesn’t want to hide it from his parents(he is 18 btw). I have tried several times to make him buy his own, giving him recommendations and finding small starter kits that can be hidden easily and doesn’t even look like a vape. I have even offered to buy him a new vape and he never says no, he just tries to change the subject or doesn’t answer at all and just sits there quiet.

This friend is a good friend of mine and i know that he has my back but he is weird, and i mean really weird, so confronting him about things like this always makes the conversation uncomfortable and akward(like the part where he doesn’t even answere me when offering him a vape of his own).

I know that i will have to talk to him about this and i really need some advice on how to bring it up. I can’t just tell him that i hate how my vape is almost also his because then he will feel really guilty because this has gone on for a while.

If you have any tips or ideas on how to talk to him about this or what to do that would be much appreciated!


(Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, english isn’t my native language)
 

Mykreign

Platinum Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Can't tell if this is a serious thread or not, but here I go.

My best friends are my best friends because I can tell them anything. In your situation, I'd tell my friend, "Sure, my vapes in my pants. You wanna get a smoothie and share a straw too?" Then i'd probably call him a freeloader or something and 5 minutes later we'd be back to normal. That's one of the perks to a good guy friendship.

Seriously, just tell him no. You don't need to explain any further. You're adults. If he can't handle it, then he can go back to his safe space.

If you want to be all touchy feely, tell him you care about him, he's vaping for all the wrong reasons and that you're not going to fund his addiction.
 

MrMeowgi

The Vapin' Drummer
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Well one is an adult. Not sure about the op. Still in school Could be college. But seriously tell them no. If he's a good friend hell understand
 

SteveS45

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Member For 5 Years
18 years old but vaping for three years? His friend is vaping OP's (Other Peoples).
 

MyMagicMist

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He will also ask for me vape when we are at places where you shouldn’t vape(in class, in the buss or train etc) and sometimes i tell him no but when i do let him i noticed that he tries to make people look at him when he vapes, i think he likes the attention it gives him.
The worst part about this is that i have offred him one of my old vapes that i don’t use and he doesn’t want it because he doesn’t want to hide it from his parents(he is 18 btw). I have tried several times to make him buy his own, giving him recommendations and finding small starter kits that can be hidden easily and doesn’t even look like a vape. I have even offered to buy him a new vape and he never says no, he just tries to change the subject or doesn’t answer at all and just sits there quiet.

:headbang::tldr: Sorry, I went Psychology Today and created a long missive. What the others say works out better.
Say no, problem solved. :)
 

Just Frank

Platinum Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Be firm and tell him enough is enough. If he wants to vape so much he needs to get his own shit. Tell him if you can't have a vape then you shouldn't be vaping.

I know people that use the line, "Bum me a smoke" constantly. I gets old quick. This is what's happening to you only it's your personal device.
 

SteveS45

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Member For 5 Years
Now I love when a smoker is about to ask me, then sees my mod, and just keeps moving. Those days are over!

I used to get that all the time and those bums would actually look pissed when I said I don't have cigarettes~! Hasn't happened in a very long time though.
 

Wb80

-DIY-demon-
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His mommy doesn't want him vaping.
That explains it all.
 

MyMagicMist

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ah I remember that. I work in NYC and when I was a smoker, you could not walk 1 block without at least 1 person asking to 'bum a smoke'. Now I love when a smoker is about to ask me, then sees my mod, and just keeps moving. Those days are over!

Not much difference in VA, WV. Will say there were a few times I was the one asking for a smoke. Those I asked though knew two things. 1. I hated to ask even if they had surplus. 2. If they were out of luck/cash and had no smokes & I did then they did too. I was never simply the old mooch a fag bum. More oft than naught we'd all be all out working they'd fire two, pass me one. "Time for a break."

Yeah, I understand a disdain of someone always hitting you up for whatever. It does get old real quick. On the other hand rather have them ask than steal or take by force. That was something my Pap was keen to teach me. "Need it bad enough to steal, ask." Pap never even said as much out loud but the message was clearly there. Papaw John would often tell me about Pap coming from horse thieves, adding "a family doesn't make a person who they are, it's what a person does."

There was always a lot of backhanded respect between the two of them. Years and decades away from them now, I start appreciating the lessons they taught.
 

SteveS45

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we'd all be all out working they'd fire two, pass me one. "Time for a break."

When I had my Auto Shop I smoked many more because my customers or friends were lighting up and had one sticking out as they pushed the pack to me. I always had a pack in my pocket and a carton for back up so not like I needed it.
 

MyMagicMist

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ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years
When I had my Auto Shop I smoked many more because my customers or friends were lighting up and had one sticking out as they pushed the pack to me. I always had a pack in my pocket and a carton for back up so not like I needed it.

Well running around picking up odd jobs, paint a house or fence, go pitch hay into wagons, go herd livestock, go move brush to the fire pit, this, that whatever a farm Boss wanted, a person learned to keep smokes and rub handy. Yeah, I was always having the same go on though. I also worked on a crew with a guy called our Pop's. He always kept us busy. You probably understand the concept behind Pop's getting every man work that day, that week. If not go ask a grandparent, or great grandparent.

"Here have ya one," we would be told.

No point arguing and saying you had, they didn't care it wasn't the point. I think the point was they needed us the "dogs" of the work to validate them taking a break for a smoke.

"Well, look that dog there he took a smoke too, figured it was okay" a Boss would hear as they pointed at one of us.

Or it may have been a pinch of high cotton-ing.

"Look I got a little, can share with ya. I'm so proud" they would say while patting their chest where the envelope of cash lay against in their coveralls.

Either way I never bothered arguing, never argued when a grandparent or one of their friends, elders said to take or do something. Looking back and feeling the miles, maybe I ought to done that, said no or argued.

"Boy get ya knife, we gonna go cut ears o' corn all day," a grandfather calls into a still darkened bedroom on the second story of a two hundred year old farm house.

"But, but, theres a combine," the six year old boy replies while still fumbling to find his corn knife the grandfather gave him yesterday.

The grandfather now turned to head down narrow rat trail like stairs clears his throat, "Wastes gas, bruises the corn too, come on!"

And yes, all day from crack of dawn until it had gotten dark enough you could no longer see the knife blade two inches in front of your face. I think all those old fuckers figured they'd work me to death. I was too stupid to up and die though. Well, I had already died once anyway. Hm, could have been the elders knew and were making me tougher to win again. In which case, reckon I ought to prepare for immortality.

( I realize how that may read and be perceived that I am fictional character. Be assured, I am not. I in fact have been that six year old boy, who is now forty years older. Sometimes I get lost in recalling all the stuff I've done in life. Lost because there's a realization that well, it's been a good bit of stuff. Have even done some that others swore could not be done by anyone much less me. None of it was fictional at the time I did it. Sure, I can write it up to seem fictional, because I apparently have some knack to that. That noted, I'm not a fictional character doing fictional things, living a fictional life.)


It's being said by 2050 near 50% of all decent, honest work will be gone. I don't like to think of such and think it's possible. That aside, too many of the "right" kind of folks are saying it and the ones that are the dead ringers are saying nothing. You might ask a ringer, they'll just nudge you back to "keeping busy" and not answer the question. Those that know, never do say and sometimes what they don't say, says way too much. So, work to do might get harder to find, elders to offer it or not. Life one, I died of pneumonia. Life two I was a working dog. Life three, well, guess I'll see.
 
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MyMagicMist

Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years
ohh now you know what I mean :blah:
Once I gave it to you it was no longer my vape.

Well it wasn't mine either. *chuckles* Hell, I'm one of those wacky peace necks doesn't own a thing. *chuckling* :crazy::hug:But, I do love people despite urges to be misanthropic at times.
 
Thanks for the response, yeah i know i’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to saying no.
I told him i would appreciate it if he could pay a bit more because the nicotine prices just went up and he told me he rather not vape at all then, problem solved!
 

bobnat

VU Donator
Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
Can someone explain to me how people do this stuff. This thread had to be as buried as my grandmother, yet Einstein found it. WTF? I really don't understand the mindset.
 
You don't need to explain yourself, you are allowed to just say no. This can be talked about from a lot of different perspectives, but let's say that you might even make him a favor, cause look at the statistics on here about addiction. That's not the most important part though, the most important part is that you are allowed to say whatever you want and you are allowed to use your possesion however you want, otherwise he is harassing you and it doesn't matter wheter you think he is a friend or not, that's harassment.
 
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Sounds like a pretty shady friend to have if I must be honest.
Have you explained that he is wrecking your coils and as such is destroying your property? Itigjt be property with a temporary lifespan but it's still your property.
Same with using your vape. Life isn't free.
You're going to have to be firm about it, if you aren't everyone and their dog will do the same thing to you in later life.

If it were me and he asked to use your vape after you said no and you can get a few minutes away before handing it over keep a coil which is the absolute worst coil in the world, swap them out and hand it over to him.
Ask if he still likes it while he coughs his lungs up in front of everybody.
I've had a 'friend' who used to take stuff of mine years ago without my knowledge. He would always deny thieving.
I added in a large amount of phenolphthalein (universal indicator and a really good laxative) to a bottle of what he would usually help himself to while I was out of the room, he would usually leave the house shortly afterwords so I wouldn't have to clean up either.
After I did that he never laid his hands on any of my stuff again. He got the message.

While I did this I wouldn't suggest you dose him with anything. Literally anything. As not only is it a moral issue it's also a legal issue if he gets harmed. However if he takes a huge hit off a burned up coil is just going to create acrid smoke and it will convey the same message as crapping your pants every few hours and having purple pee that pph did.
He might sulk for a bit, you might lose a friend, but if you lose a friend over establishing what if yours and not his he wasn't a good friend to begin with.
 

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