Good deal, man.
There's really is something very oddly relieving about that first day when you just sort of know that it's gonna work for you. It almost feels like it shouldn't be that easy, but you accept it anyway because hey, it's right there in front of you.
I dunno, for me, I tried everything I could to quit smoking, so I had a bit of uneasiness from the bad taste that those failings left behind right out of the gate. I had every thought in my head working against me in addition to all of the usual impulses. It's almost like I was at a point where I had tried and failed so many times that I was psyching myself out of it.
And yet, everything almost seemed to resolve itself with vaping. Like, aside from what my mind was telling me about the whole charade, I really felt it. I just thought to myself, "Yanno? I can just do this..."
That could be a pretty dangerous rationalization in certain situations, but when it comes to vaping it was literally kind of a no-brainier for me. Just a huge load off of my mind.
And the funny thing is... ...I actually hate cigarettes now. I can't even stand the smell of them. If I smoked one right now, I would just feel grimey and probably have to change my shirt/wash my hands a few times. It's intuitive, on a very basal, like purely reptilian, drives/impulses, level for me to think "Why would I smoke when I can do something better?" I'm talking about the parts of your brain that tell you to do things that you don't know why you do them, but nonetheless feel compelled to... ...something on the level of taking a drink of water out of simple thirst. Now, the idea of lighting up is something akin to eating a rock.
It's completely not in my head to even think to light up a cigarette at this point. That is fucking crazy to me, man... ...that addiction was always something that was in my head, even when I wasn't thinking about it... ...and now it completely doesn't register.
The weirdest part about it all, for me, is how I really don't feel the compulsion towards vaping like I did towards smoking. There's never a point in my day where I'm just like "Man, I just gotta vape ASAP." like it's something you gotta muscle through so you can get to the actually important goings-on. Sometimes I feel like a vape and sometimes I don't. And if for whatever reason I'm in a situation where I just can't vape for extended periods of time, it doesn't eat away at me to the point where I'm just counting the minutes.
I keep vaping because I enjoy it as a hobby and I like being able to be up on my shit enough to introduce it to other people who probably need it more than I myself do at this point. Gun to my head, I could always just get a new hobby. With smoking, well you've got a gun to your head no matter how you look at it.
*sigh* I dunno, maybe this is just me, but I think there is a real turning point when you start getting vaping programmed into you wherein you just find yourself preferring it... ...just you wait. It starts doing things for you that smoking can't, but it doesn't have the same hold on how you choose to enjoy yourself and what you gotta do to feel satisfied. If you haven't already, then one day soon, you're gonna reach that same conclusion.
People say you're just scratching the same itch with a different stick, but I'm not so sure that's all there is to this whole vaping thing. What you add to the whole compulsions equation with vaping doesn't really light-up quite the same runways as other forms of nicotine do. Or at least, that's what my experience has suggested to me through myself and others who I have been around to see go through the whole process.
Am I being weird and jumping the gun right now or can I safely assume this is just a thing at this point? If not, then why are we all here?
Not tryin to lay it on thick or nothing, just... ...all I'm tryna say is, from one vaper to another, that by the time you find the resolve you're conveying now, you're already there, man! Just see where it takes you...
