Hey, everybody, have you ever noticed that drinking water totally looks like drinking vodka? What say we raise the age for consumption of water to 21? I mean, to be fair. And doesn't it seem to you that chewing a wad of bubble gum looks like chewing a wad of tobacco? Oh! Wait! I bet big tobacco is behind the production of bubble gum. I mean, it's even bubble gum flavored to target the children, for crying out loud! We all know it only serves as a "gateway chew" to real chewing tobacco. Those fiends!