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I’m an Expert ask me (almost) anything Challenge (Closes 3/15/19) 9 PRIZES 9 Winners!!!

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nadalama

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#Q Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

I am an expert because, well, if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.

A: They put Braille on drive-through banking machines as a test of future plans for multi-function drive through machines everywhere. Next they will roll out Walmart grocery pickup at the drive-through banking machine. You just have to only order groceries that will fit through that tiny little slot where the money comes out. Next is pizza delivery. Thiiiiinnnnn crust pizza. Oh, and gasoline, too, that slot where the card goes can also dribble out gasoline if you can just get yer car close enough and hike its ass end up to meet the slot. It's truly amazing what technology can do.

Thiiiiiiinnnn crust.
 

~Don~

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#Q Is it wrong that your evil plan to get back at the high school bully was to wait til he passed out drunk at a party and have the HS slut pour a whole tube of super glue in his pp hole and wait til he woke up to gaze at your evil plan come to fruition?


EDIT: OMG WTF, I CAN'T PEE!... laughter from the other room
 
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nadalama

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#Q Is it wrong that your evil plan to get back at the high school bully was to wait til he passed out drunk at a party and have the HS slut pour a whole tube of super glue in his pp hole and wait til he woke up to gaze at your evil plan come to fruition?


EDIT: OMG WTF, I CAN'T PEE!... laughter from the other room

I'm an expert because I used to walk down Hillsborough St. in front of Frat Row back in the 70s. Mostly intoxicated.

A: This is a serious question, a question of man's inhumanity to man, a musing that makes the toenails curl. Edgar Allen Poe never thought of a thing like this. But then, they never had Super Glue in Ed's day, and if they had, he might've thought such a thing and written black creepy poems about it. For certain he would have been patient, skulking in corners, until the drunken coma wore off, in order to capture in the most realistic and inhumane detail the dire and desperate suffering of the poor creature whose pp hole had been filled to the very TIPPY TOP with said Super Glue. Only then would he have opined as to the rightness or wrongness of such a plan. In all fairness, he was a morbid sonuvabitch, so he'd probably have been very nearly drunk himself, with glee.
 

BobsHere

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#Q Is it wrong that your evil plan to get back at the high school bully was to wait til he passed out drunk at a party and have the HS slut pour a whole tube of super glue in his pp hole and wait til he woke up to gaze at your evil plan come to fruition?


EDIT: OMG WTF, I CAN'T PEE!... laughter from the other room
I am an expert because I am an expert.

#A That is wrong.
 
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Q: why are swear words bad words when they're just words?

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

#A

Did I do that right? I am an expert because I am 67 and have heard a lot of talk and because I am arguably a language prude.

All words are equal in goodness and badness depending on their usage, much like touch. A caress and a slap are both touch, but differ upon impact.

There was a time, and that time still is, in the fluid nature of time, when bad words were used to mean bad things. Those things were not always bad all the time, although some were and are consistently bad. M-effer is rarely a term of affection, except in a few extremely limited circles.

Today, bad words are often used as 'I'm thinking' filler. I worked for a blessedly brief time putting newspapers together at night with a crew whose members were almost uniformly on work release from jail. I learned a new respect for the word 'fuck' which is so versatile you can deliver an entire message with only that word, voice inflection and various prefixes and endings like 'mother' and 'er' or 'ing.'
 

Letitia9

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#A

Did I do that right? I am an expert because I am 67 and have heard a lot of talk and because I am arguably a language prude.

All words are equal in goodness and badness depending on their usage, much like touch. A caress and a slap are both touch, but differ upon impact.

There was a time, and that time still is, in the fluid nature of time, when bad words were used to mean bad things. Those things were not always bad all the time, although some were and are consistently bad. M-effer is rarely a term of affection, except in a few extremely limited circles.

Today, bad words are often used as 'I'm thinking' filler. I worked for a blessedly brief time putting newspapers together at night with a crew whose members were almost uniformly on work release from jail. I learned a new respect for the word 'fuck' which is so versatile you can deliver an entire message with only that word, voice inflection and various prefixes and endings like 'mother' and 'er' or 'ing.'
You did it right.:)
 

KingPin!

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#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?

I’m an expert since 2020

A# All of a sudden?? Sorry to tell you this but it never stopped being flat, also the moon landings never happened

....you think we talk via satellite, really we are using long pieces of string with tin cans and have machines deciphering what we say

In fact this isn’t even a human replying, its
your own imaginaion creating a message you want to read, the real answer is sitting behind this message .....
 

Just Lil Clouds

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Wow this is a tough room, I could only get 3 likes on this question.
#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?
Well then let's try one that is a little more argumentative.
#Q Why is President Donald Trump the BEST President the United States has had in a very long time?
 
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MrMeowgi

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Wow this is a tough room, I could only get 3 likes on this question.
#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?
Well then let's try one that is a little more argumentative.
#Q Why is President Donald Trump the BEST President the United States has had in a very long time?
I don't think politics is allowed in this challenge. If it is, it shouldn't be
 
Wow this is a tough room, I could only get 3 likes on this question.
#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?
Well then let's try one that is a little more argumentative.
#Q Why is President Donald Trump the BEST President the United States has had in a very long time?

I answered the first but I probably didn't confess to liking it. I'm a newbie dolt. Forgive me.
 
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The Cromwell

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Wow this is a tough room, I could only get 3 likes on this question.
#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?
Well then let's try one that is a little more argumentative.
#Q Why is President Donald Trump the BEST President the United States has had in a very long time?
Well a couple of years can seem like a long time to some,,,
He is the best president we have had for the past couple of years.
 
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Put the #A there and that will be one answer, one more and I can try and come up with something else. I'll go for funny responses next time.

#A I'm at least as much an expert on this as any other voter.

It's my contention that, barring government shutdown, the safest government is one that can't agree on what to do next. Therefore, President Trump, because people would rather eat dirt than agree with him, is a great President.
 

JuicyLucy

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Wow this is a tough room, I could only get 3 likes on this question.
#Q Why all of a sudden is the earth FLAT?
Well then let's try one that is a little more argumentative.
#Q Why is President Donald Trump the BEST President the United States has had in a very long time?



Rule #11

Please don’t use this challenge as an opportunity to “bash” vape companies or try to get your fellow members in the shit with political driven drivel, this is meant to be light hearted fun.
 
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KingPin!

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Is this better?
#Q
If someone you loved was killed in front of you, but someone created a copy of them that was perfect right down to the atomic level, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?

ooh that’s an interesting question!
 
Is this better?
#Q
If someone you loved was killed in front of you, but someone created a copy of them that was perfect right down to the atomic level, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?

#A

I'm an expert because I've known identical twins and because I watched John Travolta and Nicholas Cage in Face/Off.

Ny answer is no, because most of who we are doesn't come from raw molecular material, but from what we've done and seen and understood and where we've been. What you describe would be a blank slate that life hasn't written on.
 

KingPin!

In my defence, I was left unsupervised ^^
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Is this better?
#Q
If someone you loved was killed in front of you, but someone created a copy of them that was perfect right down to the atomic level, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?

I’m an expert because I’m male and have selective hearing

#A I’d finally have a good excuse for not remembering something my wife told me...multiplicity for the win! ....<I like pizza>
 

nadalama

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#Q How many spare USB cords does one need to be happy?

I am an expert because I am never completely charged.

A: Take the square root of all USB cords. Multiply it times the number of USB devices you have, times the number of vehicles you have, times the number of USB ports in those vehicles, times the number of houses you have, times the number of offices you have, times the number of people in your family, times the number of friends you have, times the number of neighbors you have, times the number of places you go, times the number of public transport vehicles you've ever been on in your life, times the number of hot air balloons in the state of New Mexico.

Final answer: A lot.
 

MrMeowgi

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Is this better?
#Q
If someone you loved was killed in front of you, but someone created a copy of them that was perfect right down to the atomic level, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?
Question for the question. Is it a genetic clone or a robot like the country of Iraq or Iran has made.

A# I am an expert because I've bought a lot of clones in my day. I couldn't care for them the same. There are memories and emotions I don't think an unknowing clone or robot could ever match. If I love someone it's to death and beyond
 

MrMeowgi

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#A

I'm an expert because I've known identical twins and because I watched John Travolta and Nicholas Cage in Face/Off.

Ny answer is no, because most of who we are doesn't come from raw molecular material, but from what we've done and seen and understood and where we've been. What you describe would be a blank slate that life hasn't written on.
Great answer. Such intelligence
 

The Cromwell

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Is this better?
#Q
If someone you loved was killed in front of you, but someone created a copy of them that was perfect right down to the atomic level, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?
I am an expert because I am a 12th generation clone.

#A
Being the same physically does not mean being the same attitude wise.
If you only love the outside of them then you are still in love with them.
 
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