On my own for a little while

[Bean8379]

Being a Christian myself, I've had more than one heart to heart with the big guy. I've come to the conclusion that; what he wants most of all, is for us to make our lives happen, not let him make it for us. He gives us opportunities, chances and a path; but, its up to us find them. He puts people along the way to encourage and speak for him,give us ideas and an occasional shoulder. Shark, break, and several others of us, may have been gods way of saying "get a job and stop procrastinating." If her complaint is you not working, than waiting for her to decide before you make a plan accomplishes what? Rather maybe god is is saying "Man up and make a plan, she'll follow you." Or perhaps there is someone else that will come in your life once you are established and are living rather than waiting.

You misunderstood. My original intention was to make short term plans but no definite long term plans as of yet and still feel that way. My short term plan included getting a job and saving money from day one. I just got to the shelter last night and was going about getting myself situated here so I could start job searching. Apparently they hook you up with a bus pass but it takes a few days. But today my dad invited me down to daytona for the holiday and I sense he has something up his sleeve that he doesnt want me to know about. Soooo, I am following my dads lead. He has instructed me to look for a job in daytona and that is what I will do.

 

[Bean8379]

And my dad is also a christian. I dont know what hes got brewing in his crazy brain, but I have an idea.

 

[OneBadWolf]

I still miss my Ex. I'm getting a new scope though.... All will be good.

 

[f1r3b1rd]

You misunderstood. My original intention was to make short term plans but no definite long term plans as of yet and still feel that way. My short term plan included getting a job and saving money from day one. I just got to the shelter last night and was going about getting myself situated here so I could start job searching. Apparently they hook you up with a bus pass but it takes a few days. But today my dad invited me down to daytona for the holiday and I sense he has something up his sleeve that he doesnt want me to know about. Soooo, I am following my dads lead. He has instructed me to look for a job in daytona and that is what I will do.

No, I didn't misunderstand. Its all good, you've got your pop guiding you.
Best of luck bean.

 

[Bean8379]

An update on the pets. I couldnt really post this yesterday because I was too busy before I went to the shelter and no wifi once I got here. Pets went to a rescue. They were picked up last night. I was upset and I cried about it, not in front of my wife but on my four mile walk to the shelter, but I am not angry towards her about the pets. I fucked up a lot in my marriage. If giving up the pets and not being upset with her is what it takes to prove I still love her, then so be it. People are more important than pets any day of the week. My wife means more to me than those pets did, and giving them up may be the only way to prove that to her. Sure, I loved my pets but they went to a rescue so I know they wont be euthanized or neglected, they may feel abandoned and that hurts my heart but any way you slice this, my choice not to act is what led to this situation. Its my fault the pets had to go, because if I had kept her happy the pets and myself would have stayed. Now whether her and I get back together or not, I have to claw my way up from the bottom. The pets wouldve hindered that. Still not their fault, but its a fuck of a lot harder to get a job when you live in a cardboard box with no address. I loved my pets very much and they will always hold a special place in my heart, but despite everything I still love my wife more.

 

[Whiskey]

I still miss my Ex. I'm getting a new scope though.... All will be good.

 

[NGAHaze]

Obviously I don't know the whole situation but honestly Bean, if it were me and someone who supposedly loved me kicked me to the curb and dumped the family pets like they were immaterial, I wouldn't want to go back. I'd cut my losses right then and there. I wouldn't even want to be around someone like that. That's a pretty drastic and heartless reaction especially around the holidays and it shows a real lack of empathy and compassion not only for you but also for your pets who most assuredly did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment.

 

[VaporCarp]

Didn't read all the garbage but did you even try to get a job in the last year?

 

[skt239]

Obviously I don't know the whole situation but honestly Bean, if it were me and someone who supposedly loved me kicked me to the curb and dumped the family pets like they were immaterial, I wouldn't want to go back. I'd cut my losses right then and there. I wouldn't even want to be around someone like that. That's a pretty drastic and heartless reaction especially around the holidays and it shows a real lack of empathy and compassion not only for you but also for your pets who most assuredly did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment.

I don't think it's fair to paint Beans wife with that brush. Bean clearly stated that he did not work, help out around the house and was more interested in fiddling with his phone rather than his wife when they were alone. My wife just recently went back to work but when she was not working she was taking care of our home, daughter and me.

I've told her many times before, I'd rather have the ulcer inducing 9-5 job then do what she did for the last 2.5 years. If she was doing what bean described, I wouldn't be able to take much of it either. I'm also not surprised it happened during the holiday's, also known as the most stressful time of the year. Again, I'm not trying to be a dick, I've done everything bean is describing in the past with a previous relationship. Bean is not in denial and is taking responsibility for what happened. I think he'll be better off once the dust settles.

@Bean8379 , glad to hear your parents are opening their doors to you. Take full advantage of their hospitality and turn things around. You would be surprised how quickly you can get back on your feet without distractions and the right motivation. It also doesn't hurt to be in sunny FL; I've had some of the best times of my life in the Florida Keys.

 

[sk7175]

maybe you should consider joining the army, that should help you grow up

 

[skt239]

maybe you should consider joining the army, that should help you grow up

I think Bean said he is in his 30's. The army can only help up to a certain point.

 

[NGAHaze]

I don't think it's fair to paint Beans wife with that brush

That's fine, I totally get that my opinion is just that, my opinion only

I agree Bean needed a kick in ass to get motivated but I also feel her actions were excessive. They have a spare room where he could have stayed temporarily and he was actively trying to change yet she wouldn't even allow him time to find decent homes for the pets. Obviously she didn't give two shits for those animals. I have little tolerance for people like that personally, but again, that's just me.

 

[Bean8379]

Tell me how you would react to being married to someone for 5 years, them having 4 jobs in that time period only one of which lasted longer than six months, the only full time job being the shortest lasting, them making empty promise after empty promise, always pushing for what they wanted, putting themselves ahead of you, sleeping half the day, doing nothing around the house not looking for a job and constantly burying their face in a smartphone or video game spending more time playing with their pets than with you and when you give them one last chance they still don't do anything? I had plenty of chances to correct my behavior in the last 5 years and I chose to ignore the problems and pretend we were both happy. This is on me.

 

[skt239]

That's fine, I totally get that my opinion is just that, my opinion only

I agree Bean needed a kick in ass to get motivated but I also feel her actions were excessive. They have a spare room where he could have stayed temporarily and he was actively trying to change yet she wouldn't even allow him time to find decent homes for the pets. Obviously she didn't give two shits for those animals. I have little tolerance for people like that personally, but again, that's just me.

I totally see your side as well.I think we all agree we want to see Mr. Bean on his feet and back to his normal hell raising self

 

[sk7175]

reminds me of that old soap opera,
'as the bean turns'.

 

[NGAHaze]

Tell me how you would react

I'm happy to see you are taking responsibility for your actions Bean and I wish you nothing but success in whatever direction you choose to take from here. However, outside of you being physically abusive, I just don't see the need for the immediate expulsion especially considering the season. Moreover, if she really needed you to get rid of your animals in order for you to prove something to her, well sorry, but that isn't love in my book. To me, pets are an extension of a family and not to be discarded or used as pawns when marital discourse rears it's ugly head.

But you have to do what you feel is right and if you feel her actions are justified then so be it. I do hope things work out for you Bean.

 

[snake94115]

See the difference?

Beautiful though.

OTOH, 'Sultry' could be paint and light and smoke and mirrors...
(Mostly paint though. )

But still...

Wait you really think hookerela was sultry?
But Allison or Angie aren't??
Man I swear you need glasses worse than I do.

 

[snake94115]

maybe you should consider joining the army, that should help you grow up

The Armed Services has varying age restrictions.

• Army - 35 (must ship to basic training prior to 35th birthday. The Army experimented with raising the age limit to age 42 for a brief period of time, but effective April 1st, 2011, the Army has reverted to the lower age limit.
• Air Force - 27
• Navy - 34
• Marines - 28

 

[snake94115]

Tell me how you would react to being married to someone for 5 years, them having 4 jobs in that time period only one of which lasted longer than six months, the only full time job being the shortest lasting, them making empty promise after empty promise, always pushing for what they wanted, putting themselves ahead of you, sleeping half the day, doing nothing around the house not looking for a job and constantly burying their face in a smartphone or video game spending more time playing with their pets than with you and when you give them one last chance they still don't do anything? I had plenty of chances to correct my behavior in the last 5 years and I chose to ignore the problems and pretend we were both happy. This is on me.

Some of us knew that...However thanks for clearing the air.
So the "I don't give a fuck thing" didn't work out well...Hmm.
I wonder who it was that warned you about that?

 

[snake94115]

I totally see your side as well.I think we all agree we want to see Mr. Bean on his feet and back to his normal hell raising self

Who is this we, you speak of?

 

[vape me]

Sorry to hear that you are going through this situation. Are you going to have enough money to eat before you get the juice though?

 

[Bean8379]

I'm at my dads in Daytona now. Obdave mailed my package to my apartment so I am unable to retrieve it. Dad and his wife are feeding me. We got pizza for dinner today.

 

[z man]

Beaner,check the Daytona Craigs list,I looked and there are lots of jobs,what are Your skills?....Sales,laborer,ect. remember "limitations are the shackles We bind to Ourselves"....

 

[dwalters719]

do you still need juice my good sir?

 

[Bean8379]

Yes I could use some. I prefer max vg, 3mg. Please pm me for my address.

 

[f1r3b1rd]

heyyyy like Shark said, nice seeing you doing ayite man. hope things are going well Bean!!

 

[wally]

Yes I could use some. I prefer max vg, 3mg. Please pm me for my address.

What flavors you like?

 

[Bean8379]

Thanks everyone but I've actually quit vaping. And, my wife and I are back together. If I offend anyone I apologize, but I believe God worked a miracle. I stayed with my dad in Daytona while we were separated. We had very little contact and the D word did come up once. But I kept praying. Last Friday night, the 8th,I was out on a work assignment and I had a moment to pray. I simply said God, if you will be glorified and if anything I am doing is pleasing you, then let my marriage be restored. I wasn't expecting it to happen in a certain amount of time, I just prayed that prayer and went back to work. When I got done working, I had a message from my wife saying to call her so I did. We talked for maybe ten minutes. I did not convince her to get back together. I simply spoke honestly and shared my feelings and intentions. At the end of our conversation, she asked me to come home. Tears of joy have never flowed from my soul as freely as they did that night. I give God all the glory, praise and honor. The past is in the past. I am looking toward the future and continuing to seek God. I am also actively seeking employment.

 

[Bean8379]

I'm happy to see you are taking responsibility for your actions Bean and I wish you nothing but success in whatever direction you choose to take from here. However, outside of you being physically abusive, I just don't see the need for the immediate expulsion especially considering the season. Moreover, if she really needed you to get rid of your animals in order for you to prove something to her, well sorry, but that isn't love in my book. To me, pets are an extension of a family and not to be discarded or used as pawns when marital discourse rears it's ugly head.

But you have to do what you feel is right and if you feel her actions are justified then so be it. I do hope things work out for you Bean.

I trusted God in this situation and He brought me through it, and He brought my wife and I back together for a reason. I am not questioning that. God gave (my wife and I) to one another to love. God does not stop loving us even when we are unloving, neither will I stop loving my wife because for a brief period of time she became unloving to me. I was unloving toward her for much longer than she was unloving towards me, and we have forgiven each other and our relationship is better than it has ever been.

 

[f1r3b1rd]

Bean, congratulations bro!!!! I hope all the best for you and her, and that you stay on the path to continue being a better person. It takes a big man to admit when things aren't going their way and a bigger man to stand tall and work for it to be better.

All the best, my friend, you got this!

 

[Bean8379]

Some of us knew that...However thanks for clearing the air.
So the "I don't give a fuck thing" didn't work out well...Hmm.
I wonder who it was that warned you about that?

Whatever feelings you have towards my situation, they are your feelings and not my responsibility. I don't own your feelings or thoughts, you do. I wish you the best of luck with them. I am looking toward the future, not the past so you have a wonderful day and God bless you.

 

[Bean8379]

I only wanted to share my testimony so I won't really be back on here. If anyone wants to stay in touch with me, I can send you a friend request on Facebook if you send me a pm with your info. I will check my messages a few times but I won't be commenting on threads anymore. Best of luck to everyone and God bless you all!

 

[Bean8379]

Bean, congratulations bro!!!! I hope all the best for you and her, and that you stay on the path to continue being a better person. It takes a big man to admit when things aren't going their way and a bigger man to stand tall and work for it to be better.

All the best, my friend, you got this!

Thank you my friend, God bless you.

 

[OBDave]

Well, glad to hear it seems things are on the mend...good luck in your future endeavors.

 

[Whiskey]

Ditto that, Glad things are looking up for you Bean, stay well

 

[z man]

Don't be a stranger,Beanie Boy!....

 

[snake94115]

Whatever feelings you have towards my situation, they are your feelings and not my responsibility. I don't own your feelings or thoughts, you do. I wish you the best of luck with them. I am looking toward the future, not the past so you have a wonderful day and God bless you.

Firstly I only have 1 feeling towards you (Good Riddance to Bad Garbage)
Secondly I did in all honesty try to get you to see how your "fuck it all" attitude might not have been the way to go about things.
Until you change that attitude I don't see your future being any different from your past.
Thirdly do not send me your god's blessings I don't need them.

I only wanted to share my testimony so I won't really be back on here.

Testimony?? really??

 

[nabibrian]

While I am happy to hear things are working out for you now, I can't help but think there are some other issues that contribute to your wish washy ways.
It's easy to call out to God during hard times, but you better keep on your path to wholeness or you are going to find things worse off than before. Get your house in order in every aspect and stop playing games with your life, God and your marriage.
Sorry bean but there are some things I've read here by you that are not adding up.
Time to grow up!!

 

[Bean8379]

While I am happy to hear things are working out for you now, I can't help but think there are some other issues that contribute to your wish washy ways.
It's easy to call out to God during hard times, but you better keep on your path to wholeness or you are going to find things worse off than before. Get your house in order in every aspect and stop playing games with your life, God and your marriage.
Sorry bean but there are some things I've read here by you that are not adding up.
Time to grow up!!

I have nothing to prove to anyone here. I came back here to share my story and that is all. Take it or leave it. I harbor no ill will towards anyone here, and I wish everyone the best. I feel no obligation to defend myself. What God has done in my life speaks for itself, and I will stand on His word and His miracle in my life, and nothing else. The only thing I am responsible to do is put effort in. I don't need to justify myself, and I don't need to explain whether I am putting enough effort in or not. You are all free to draw your own conclusions, and I wish you nothing but wisdom from God in drawing those conclusions correctly.

 

[martnargh]

Wish you the best dude. Make sure you stick with the big man when things are good though, dont just look for him when things are bad. Good luck with your life.

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

 

[Bean8379]

Wish you the best dude. Make sure you stick with the big man when things are good though, dont just look for him when things are bad. Good luck with your life.

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

I go to my Father every day, may He be glorified.

 

[Bean8379]

Replying to every comment and defending myself to those who speak against me will accomplish nothing, so I've given my final word on this.

 

[skt239]

I go to my Father every day, may He be glorified.

Bean,

Is your wife a devout born again Christian as well? It never works if one person is down with the Jesus and the other isn't. You won't be able to stand each other. I know because I dated a girl for many years who woke up one morning and was a fanatic, it did last much longer after that. It kinda reminds me of the Chris Rock bit...

Husband - Where you going?
Wife - Church, what about you?
Husband - I'm gonna go hit the pipe.

 

[Bean8379]

We are both Christians. Dating and marriage are two different things unless you're dating with the intention of getting married. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

 

[Whiskey]

Replying to every comment and defending myself to those who speak against me will accomplish nothing, so I've given my final word on this.

 

[fq06]

Best of luck bean, grab life by the horns and make the most of it.

 

[Bean8379]

Doesn't prevent me from answering questions.

 

[Whiskey]

Replying to every comment and defending myself to those who speak against me will accomplish nothing, so I've given my final word on this.

 

[fq06]

This place is like Hotel California, check in but you can't check out

 

[f1r3b1rd]

Doesn't prevent me from answering questions.

Bean I say this to as a friend.
We here have seen you make some pretty big changes over the the last few months.
You appear to be in a better place. But don't you think that finalizing this transition from who you were to who you are trying to be means closing the door on that person completely?
I want to think that you are trying you be a better person for yourself and your wife. Getting wrapped up again with the negativity that you yourself created does not in any way help you achieve that.
So, I'm gonna pray for you to be able to make the right decision.