Story time 2

[Thunderball]

figure out what the hell those damn elves are up to now.

So he gingerly snuck back into the Dungeon and slipped back into those chains before they knew he was missing. This could be fun he thought...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

as long as I don't get the big fat sweaty elf with the

 

[InMyImage]

big hairy hands and feet... I'm afraid that I'll accidentally call her a hobbit...

 

[Thunderball]

big hairy hands and feet... I'm afraid that I'll accidentally call her a hobbit...

I was actually hoping for the Midget Twins, but beggars cant be choosers.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

but would it be too much to ask for ...

 

[InMyImage]

a nice long leg to hump every once in a while?

 

[bobsyeruncle]

So, as he was waiting, chained in a dungeon, five feet away from a bucket to do his business in, he started thinking

 

[JLFROST]

what if I hurt myself? is this covered by my insurance ?

 

[bobsyeruncle]

And what if they want to take x-rays of my anal cavity?

 

[InMyImage]

Are they really elves or could they really be aliens?

 

[bobsyeruncle]

And what if an anal cavity x-ray isn't going to be the worst of it?

 

[Ld3441]

About that time the elves entered the room and switched my train of thought to...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

are they going to bring the lube?

 

[Ld3441]

That changed quickly and fear ran through me when I saw them carrying...

 

[InMyImage]

the biggest speculum I've ever seen!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

and me wondering where they're going to put it

 

[InMyImage]

as they started to move towards me, it seemed that time slowed to a crawl and...

 

[Petyr]

And suddenly I knew. This was going to be an earth shattering experience for me . The speculum was huge it all flashed in an instant that ....

 

[bobsyeruncle]

I was going to be able to finally find that old watch of mine in

 

[Petyr]

The one I had lost way back in 69 at Woodstock...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

when I lost my pants and needed a place to keep my watch ...

 

[JLFROST]

The same watch that held the power of black magic and could warp time and space

 

[bobsyeruncle]

And thus was able to easily fit in my anus, but

 

[JLFROST]

I forgot to mention something that I should have in the start of the story

 

[bobsyeruncle]

My anus, since '69, Woodstock, is a black hole from which nothing escapes

 

[InMyImage]

except really noxious gas...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

, Rectal Radiation I calls it, guaranteed to kill anyone within 25 feet unless

 

[InMyImage]

their gas smells worse than mine in which case I run to

 

[bobsyeruncle]

plan b, which is to

 

[InMyImage]

jump into the nearest rabbit hole and

 

[bobsyeruncle]

clear out all of the rabbits

 

[InMyImage]

while looking for his damned pocket watch!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

which was holding back something far more massive and sinister

 

[Petyr]

After I cleared all the rabbits and found the "special" watch, I saw a message on the bark of the tree next to the rabbit hole. The message was made with lipstick and it read : "Come behind the "Big Bear Bar" I headed there right away to the bar, I could use a drink.

 

[Cephalon Vapes]

When I arrived, I came face to face with someone whom I have not seen in a very long time. His name is...

 

[WhiteWolf]

Billy Vapenstein. He has this huge...

 

[Petyr]

Left ear , that looked like a plate , his right ear was ok though. Vapenstain was known for his love for slow cars, ugly women and the fish flavored e-liquid he loved. I walked down to him and said:

 

[WhiteWolf]

Is that a mod in yer pocket or are you just happy to see me bro? He says...

 

[Petyr]

Are you aware of the vaping mob ? They've had several hits go down and you look like Jimmy Two Mods, their go-to man. I am interested in joining.

After hearing this, he looks around and ...

 

[WhiteWolf]

Well you see, I have this secret website called Vaping Underground. It's a really strange quiet place with the most...

 

[Petyr]

Interesting stuff you could find for vaping, but I think that some of the "people" there aren't actually people . I think they are ....

 

[WhiteWolf]

...really a bunch of poser bots that can't even vape since they don't have ...

 

[Petyr]

Any suitable orifices. Not like Bill The Vape Machine Rogers, now that was a vaper it is too bad that he....