Become a Patron!

Humour Mill - Smile a Day Challenge

Jimi

Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Seen this and thought it was cute


May be an image of text that says 'Are you lonesome tonight Is your brastrap too tight Are your corsets just drifting apart Have you got a big chest Making holes in your vest Does your spare tyre Reach into the night Are your stockings all laddered Are you wearing them thin Do you hold up your knickers With a big safety pin Are your false teeth all worn Do they drop when you yawn Well it's no wonder your lonesome tonight.. I bet you sang it'
 

MyMagicMist

Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years

Not so much as cats who get into bed with you. *ahem* Me & wife got frisky one night. I was still real "potent". Out of nowhere this cat swats the potent. I was so glad it didn't use claws. Not sure it would have scratched, still claws would not have felt good at all. *smh* Wife laughed her fool head off. I did too once I got some skivies and pj pants back on.
 

MyMagicMist

Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years
Coligard commercial: "False positives and negatives may occur."

Me: "Um, what's the point of the testing then?"

My wife: "*blank stare trying to figure out how to answer*"

I mean seriously think about it. A company is getting you to send them your shit. They can tell you any shit. How damn stupid has the world gotten?

What makes it worse to consider is people are stupid enough to send them their shit & pay for the privilege. *smh*
 
Last edited:

Lady Sarah

Platinum Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Coligard commercial: "False positives and negatives may occur."

Me: "Um, what's the point of the testing then?"

My wife: "*blank stare trying to figure out how to answer*"

I mean seriously think about it. A company is getting you to send them your shit. They can tell you any shit. How damn stupid has the world gotten?

What makes it worse to consider is people are stupid enough to send them their shit & pay for the privilege. *smh*
I asked my doctor about that same thing a couple years ago.

If a person has any condition that could result in blood being in the stool sample (such as ulcers or hemorrhoids), that could result in a false positive.
 

MyMagicMist

Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years

I'm such a girl about spiders, wife has to take care of them. She fusses when I mention the nightmare of them carrying me off. *shivers* Bees, wasps on the other hand I can get with lidded cups and take them outside for release.

This kind of links back to my not enjoying the horror genre of movies now. As a child of the 70's my mom let me watch nearly anything and everything. Recall in fact going to see the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre (TCM) at a drive in. Mom and stepdad went and so I did too. They also saw one of if not the first Friday The 13th (FT1) movies at drive in.

I watched the televised premiere of The Shining, on a school night even. Mom said I had to learn about cold weather and how to live through it. Watched something about a wax museum too. Used to go across the street in New Market to a theater that had double feature matinees. They ran The Blob, Frankenstein, Dracula, Creature from Black Lagoon (all the old classics with Lugosi, Karloff).

There were horror flicks about bees, spiders, ants back then too. Want to bet my mom stopped me watching them? Ha! No, put me right to watching them. Damn acid queens as mothers are great, I tell ya. Saw all the Nightmare on Elm, all the TCM except the silly 3d one, Jaws, all of them save for 3d, Hellraiser all of em.

But no, I don't like horror movies. Grew up in one and watching all the old standards. Why would I like the new stuff? I even watched the Hitchcock. Twilight Zone, Outer Limits were popular shows for us too. Of course the 70's version of Hardy Boys & Nancy Drew but they were tame by far.

I also saw Song of the South in a drive in. Still not a white supremacist, or racist. Will admit I may have a slight white privilige bias but I do try setting that aside. To me people are people regardless of flags, colors, sex they enjoy, gender, ability. We're all just human beings. I like death don't give a rat's ass about the "details", you're a person, that's all. Though I can understand how some might get off ended over Song of the South.

Also saw Puff the Magic Dragon, Pete the Dragon too. Grew up seeing a lot of different stuff. Even got put to looking at rough video of 'Nam correspondent's work. Talk about real horror stories. I don't necessarily care too much for Brad Pitt but can say probably my two favorite movies are Legends of the Fall & Meet Joe Black.

Ha! New Punk Metal band name: Acid Queen Mothers or shortened to AQM *chuckles*
 
Last edited:

Lady Sarah

Platinum Contributor
Member For 5 Years
This airline gate agent deserves an award for how she handled a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."



The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first who were in front of you; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."



The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"



Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal:

"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".



With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 2 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile
its amazing how people still smoke cancer sticks here in australia, a pack of 30 costs $A34 bucks thats $240 bucks a week. a shop assistant gets $450/week wages!!!!how do they live!!!! my juice concentrate costs $7 for thirty lms and pg costs @10/litre. i mahe 30mls of juice for $2.35.
 

VU Sponsors

Top