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gadget!

"The Trader"
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I took that pic and modernized it a while back.
e9a79f34d30f8ea21b3eb97de69f354a.jpg


Sent from a Galaxy far far away
 

gadget!

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Coligard commercial: "False positives and negatives may occur."

Me: "Um, what's the point of the testing then?"

My wife: "*blank stare trying to figure out how to answer*"

I mean seriously think about it. A company is getting you to send them your shit. They can tell you any shit. How damn stupid has the world gotten?

What makes it worse to consider is people are stupid enough to send them their shit & pay for the privilege. *smh*
Two years ago my doctor got tired of asking me to get a Colonoscopy and ordered me a Coligard.
The results were positive so I had to go get a Colonoscopy anyway.
To make a long story short it saved my life!
I had Colin Cancer! After surgery to remove 60% of my colon and a week in the hospital I'm cancer free and feel great!
So I guess I'm one of those that are stupid enough, and damn glad I did!

Sent from a Galaxy far far away
 

MyMagicMist

Platinum Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years
Two years ago my doctor got tired of asking me to get a Colonoscopy and ordered me a Coligard.
The results were positive so I had to go get a Colonoscopy anyway.
To make a long story short it saved my life!
I had Colin Cancer! After surgery to remove 60% of my colon and a week in the hospital I'm cancer free and feel great!
So I guess I'm one of those that are stupid enough, and damn glad I did!

Sent from a Galaxy far far away

Think my mom has lost 80% of hers. She's beat cancer twice. I'm on a routine colonoscopy every five years starting when 45. The doctors saw her in my history and so, marked me as high risk.

Still think the commercial is funny. Know the seriousness. That's probably why I laugh.
 

gadget!

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Think my mom has lost 80% of hers. She's beat cancer twice. I'm on a routine colonoscopy every five years starting when 45. The doctors saw her in my history and so, marked me as high risk.

Still think the commercial is funny. Know the seriousness. That's probably why I laugh.
I laugh at most of the medical commercials.
Some of them have possible side effects that are worse than what they are trying to cure!

Sent from a Galaxy far far away
 

Bliss Doubt

Bronze Contributor
Member For 5 Years
I took that pic and modernized it a while back.
e9a79f34d30f8ea21b3eb97de69f354a.jpg


Sent from a Galaxy far far away
Meet the Flintstones...

I want one of these so so so so bad, I modernized the old song.

Birds will fly and squirrels may scurry
But I don't have to be in a hurry
Leisurely pedaling my pretty surrey
with the fringe on top.

I stop for a friend to hop right on,
we roll on up to the burger shop,
Smiling when we pass the gasoline stop.
Our feet fuel the surrey with the fringe on top.

Surrey bike.JPG
 

Bliss Doubt

Bronze Contributor
Member For 5 Years

I remember a version of this going around the net a few years ago. Looking for it, I actually found this on Pub Med:

How to give a cat a pill:
  1. Pick up cat and cradle it in your left arm. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
  2. Retrieve pill from floor, retrieve cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
  4. Get another pill, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth. Get another pill.
  8. Wrap cat in towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open, blow pill through drinking straw.
  9. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Fetch bottle of Scotch, pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
  13. Tie the little @[email protected]#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
 

Bliss Doubt

Bronze Contributor
Member For 5 Years
I laugh at most of the medical commercials.
Some of them have possible side effects that are worse than what they are trying to cure!
Side effects may include, but are not limited to, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, headache, weight gain, weight loss, dementia, tooth decay, the appearance of a third arm or leg, collapsed spine, blindness, change of eye color, knots on joints, disappearing bellybutton, rudeness, excessive facial hair on women, hair loss for men, runny nose, runny eyes, runny legs, pregnancy in men, green skin tone, appearance of fangs. Report these to your doctor but don't stop taking your medicine because we need the 50.00 bucks per pill.
 

Lady Sarah

Platinum Contributor
Member For 3 Years
Side effects may include, but are not limited to, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, headache, weight gain, weight loss, dementia, tooth decay, the appearance of a third arm or leg, collapsed spine, blindness, change of eye color, knots on joints, disappearing bellybutton, rudeness, excessive facial hair on women, hair loss for men, runny nose, runny eyes, runny legs, pregnancy in men, green skin tone, appearance of fangs. Report these to your doctor but don't stop taking your medicine because we need the 50.00 bucks per pill.
You forgot death.
 

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