Ok......I have a theory...
Over the water, many miles away in the 'Vapeville Theme Park'...or....Shenzhen...as it likes to call itself these days....there was a guy...or girl....I'm not sexist....who worked for a well known vape manufacturer..and happened to be a bit of a tearaway, a 'scamp' as my father would say, and this person liked to dabble in things....illegal things.....things young people like to experiment with while their nubile noggins are healthy enough to cope with the resulting euphoric bombardment .....and catastrophic emotional aftermath.....and I believe, through a series of misguided and unfortunate circumstances...that this person's day....went a little awry....
"Dude....they're running random drug tests in work today....please tell me you didn't bring in those 'things' I asked for yesterday?"
"Erm......no?......wait......yes.....was it you that asked for the naked pictures of my grandmother?"
".............................you have naked pictures of your Grandmother...?"
".................no...?"
"Who the fuck asked you for naked pictures of your Grandmother!?!....How did you GET naked pictures of your Grandmother and WHO THE FUCK would be doing random drug tests to see if anyone had naked pictures of their own Grandmother ....what's wrong with you you fucking weirdo!?!"
"Well...."
"DON'T answer that.......did you get the drugs or not?"
"Ooooooh that was you....yeah....well....no....well I did, but then I noticed they were doing random drug tests when I got in.....so I hid them"
"Where??"
"In the kettle in that brew room there"
(Brew room door opens)
"Mornin fellas (slurp)"
"....Please tell me that wasn't Ken from the design department drinking tea from the kettle that you hid my drugs in"
"Ok...that wasn't Ken drinking tea from the kettle I hid your drugs in"
"It was though wasn't it......"
"Yes"
(sigh)......."Fine.....how much for the pictures?"
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Welcome back my trippy little fluff fairies, once again unto the breach as they say (literally no one has said that this century)......today's offering is...well....it's an odd one, I mean ...I like odd ...odd is different, and different is good...sometimes....on this occasion however......how can I put this.....
Ken had an 'interesting' day at work....
Courtesy of my gluttons for punishment from the East...Heavengifts....I apprehensively present to you...the Arctic Dolphin Alfa 210w box mod..
Where to start......probably be a good idea to ask Ken where his influence came from when he was designing the Alfa...
Oooooor....not....
The Lowdown
The Arctic Dolphin Alfa is a 210w dual 18650 powered mod that is kept in check by their own chip....boasting a full TC suite for the usual wires, VW and bypass modes....It composes of a full metal jacket with a detachable side panel and takes tops up to..and including...25mm on it's bolted on 510 plate.
It has an angled fire button...which by the way..I am very much a fan of, and the fire button itself...is actually very....very awesome...
Looks, feels and performs like a Mitec but I honestly don't know if it is....I'm certainly not going to prise it from the Alfa's skull to find out....just take my word for it....it's very good.
The screen is.....well....to all intents and purposes it could very well be a DNA screen...
Obviously you don't get the advantages of using a third party software like EScribe to pair it with and customise your settings...but basic functions and navigation are very similar via the vertically placed dual buttons at the bottom of the front face.....FYI....the buttons?....Also impressively well made.
The battery bay is super tidy and hidden away behind one of the magnetically fixed side panels...
The bay is a little on the snug side...but those magnets that keep the side panel on are HUGE....and who doesn't like huge magnets....kinda reminds me of this super deep and thoroughly meaningful song I heard once....
Pure poetry.
Now.....that's the normal everyday stuff out of the way.....everything from here on in...is all Ken.
We'll start with one of the side panels....because I think this deserves its own accolade...
Uh huh.....looks like one of those pictures a psychiatrist holds up and asks you "What do you see.......?"
This part of the mod, was designed at precisely the moment that Ken's 'tea' started to kick in, I have literally NO fucking clue what's going on here....at all. It is, quite simply, the oddest looking side panel....in the history of odd looking side panels (there's a history...??) ...It's made of what I can only describe...as a rubbery Denim?....and within this rubbery Denim...are some kind of ...'swellings'....with...'futuristic' circles...normally we would get 'stabilised wood' ....or 'swirly resin' side panels....but these don't have a name...and seeing as they don't have a name...I am going to call them 'rubbery Denim grip nipples' .....I feel that describes them perfectly.
