As a vape reviewer.....you get to play with a lot of gear, some you keep.....some you give away....but after doing it for a few years seldom are you actually excited to receive a device. Sure...it's fucking awesome at first, and receiving anything gratis that's to do with something you're kind of obsessed about is like someone just giving you a present...
"I just have to tell you what I think??"
But as the years go by your attitude changes, a lot of the gear starts to look the same, does the same, feels the same, the excitement of vape mail wavers and the way you view new vape gear becomes.....almost sadistic...
You want to find what's WRONG with it...you want people to know that this thing.....this device that some company has had the nerve to present to the good vapers of the world...actually isn't all that they pertain it to be.......I mean how fucking dare they.....
At least....that's how it goes for some...not for me you understand....I still hug the postman everytime he brings me my new new, which is probably why I have a different postman every week.... but even I...with my angelic child like innocence and rose tinted spectacles (??) have felt this tinge of pessimistic egocentrism from time to time. You're presented with a device...it has a glaringly obvious fault....you sneer at it with utter contempt...as you mutter under your breath...."oh.....oh you're gonna get both barrels you little fuckweasel" .....
But then.....there are days like today. You've been waiting for this for what feels like years, you've been a passenger on this particular hype train since day one, you heard about this device long before it was released, you've been privy to the innovation, information and specs since before it was announced, you know the designer....and he's sent you this device and asked for your opinion.....even though....he knows you dislike this particular kind of device....
I mean where do you even go with that?.....I cordially invite you to read below 'the line of no particular purpose' to find out just how this emotionally unstable endeavour unravelled.....here it comes.....steel yourselves..
It's a skill....what can I say...
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Welcome back my cloudy cretinous critiques, Today's review is one that...truth be told...has been churning away in my overactive, slightly unhinged brain pan for quite some months. From the moment I heard about it, through to the moment that the designer told me about it, past the time that it was revealed to the expectant public, right up to the second I clung onto my postman like a horny dog as it landed on my doorstep.
Yet....since I was asked to review it, I have had the weight of one single burning question pulling at my moral compass like an annoying child tugging at the skirt of its mother.....
"What if it's shit..?"
And the man responsible for burdening me with the arduous turbulent endeavour?......well some call him ‘The Devious Doctor Drop’ (literally no one calls him that), others may know him as one half of the Drop Dead or a third of the The Vape Team, but most know him as Mr TVC, the mind behind the The Vapor Chronicles channel. Me?....I call him Beryl...for no other reason...than I know he hates it -it is of course, Mr Brian Herb, and this time he's teamed up with Dovpo to bring us his vision.... of how a single battery Squonk mod.....should be done.
Time to board the Hype Train yet again, to find out whether or not the journey was worth the ticket.....Courtesy of Dovpo & Brian Herb, The Dovpo Topside Squonk Mod.....and if you read until the end, I'll give you details of how one of you can win one.
Now, like I said earlier, I was privy to the in’s and out’s of this device long before it was released. When Beryl spilled the beans about it, I felt like I was being given the blueprints to a new kind of planet-saving renewable energy source....the man was passionate about his new baby like it was...well....a new baby. For the months that followed, while he was building interest and intrigue to his loyal fanbase about this new 'innovation that is so simple, designers will be wondering why they didn't think of it first', he had them foaming at the mouth..."What the hell is it going to be??"......."I need to know what it is!!".....and "I think I just pee’d in my pants!!"....
were just some of the comments being displayed on social media....the man sure knows how to drive the hype I'll tell you that much, and all the while, sworn to secrecy, I sat and watched in the wings with a smug grin upon my portly yet ruggedly handsome face...all like..
Of course...I'm a massive man-child, and I couldn't keep it completely to myself. I actually told my one year old daughter, just for release, who coincidentally was born on the very day I reviewed Brian's first born, the legendary Drop RDA. She looked at me all glazed, with a soggy half-eaten custard cream biscuit matted into her eyelashes, and mumbled the words....."mum mum".....which as we all know in baby language translates to "Dude...this thing is gonna be the shit, thank you for sharing this fountain of unfathomable wisdom with me, even though it means you just broke your promise to keep it quiet - which begs the question...can you really be trusted to be my father?".....which I chose to ignore....it's the last time I get owned by a one year old girl I'll tell you that much....and don't even get me started on her foul language.
The Lowdown
The Topside, in a nutshell, is a 90w squonk mod powered by a single 21700 battery (or 18650 with the included conversion tube), which holds an admirable 10ml of liquid in it's silicone bottle. Out of the box it comes in only 2 modes, Variable Wattage, and Bypass. TC is available for you people out there that probably iron your shoelaces via a firmware update, but.....I rarely even tie my shoelaces, so...I didn't bother. If you would like to know how accurate the TC mode is...I'm afraid you're in the wrong town buddy.
The Topside is constructed from a single cast aluminium shell with bolted on end caps; the bottom being the spring loaded battery door and bottle cartridge access ...
And the top...obviously housing the gold-plated, spring-loaded 510...as well as a mysterious knurled turny thing....patience my little one...
On the front we have the display, which gives you all the information you need on a 0.96" OLED display. Below are the 2 control buttons, above you will find the fire button right where you would expect it to be, and nestled in the side, is a micro USB socket for firmware updates.
Now....what I have just described is pretty much what you would expect to read on any single battery, regulated squonk mod. There's nothing new there, it's completely normal...but here's the thing; Brian Herb, just like many a reviewer out there, has been asked to give his opinion on a ridiculous amount of devices. It is simply impossible not to see the pitfalls and faults, or to have ideas on possible improvements with every single thing he uses....and it's only when you take the Topside out of the box and look at it properly....that you start to see all this come into play. So let's look again....
The main shell is one piece all the way around, and it is SOLID. Its contours hug the battery and squonk bottle, giving it excellent hand feel yet still remains as compact as possible. It's also heavy - with a full bottle and its battery in place it probably weighs the same as most of my dual battery mods. Because of its weighty and solid presence...it feels high quality, it's NICE to hold...something lacking in a lot of its competitors....or at least it would be...if there were any....
But then...with a name like 'Topside'....you'd expect it to be a little (ahem)....beefy...
Then there's the fire button....
I don't own anything with a fire button that is quite so satisfying. It's completely domed, almost like a really big, old school BB button and perfectly clicky and responsive. This is mirrored in the two control buttons below.....and how nice is that silver vent panel tucked behind the fascia?
Still...no signs of any real groundbreaking innovation at this point...so what is all the fuss about then?..What did Beryl do...that no one else thought of?...Well...an image speaks a thousand words, so...this.....
