Ever have one of those days where you hear thunder and find yourself smiling because there's finally a chance of getting struck by lightning thereby ending your suffering, problems, issues and pathetic existence... All in a flash? A guy can dream...
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Ever had one of those days?
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In my case, I hear thunder and get so excited because I need rain. Then the thunder goes elsewhere and rains. I'm holding out for snow.
At least we can dream, right? Buck up little camper!
AndriaD
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I have days where pretty much everything I touch or try to do, I knock over, drop, break, it doesn't work already, or I have to clean up something I spill on the floor. 
I trip over my shadow. Everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong, stupid, boring, infuriating (to somebody), or just generally an indication that I really should never have gotten out of bed that day.
I think this makes me a member of the human race.
Andria
I trip over my shadow. Everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong, stupid, boring, infuriating (to somebody), or just generally an indication that I really should never have gotten out of bed that day.I think this makes me a member of the human race.
Andria
lordmage
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Human's are not meant to race we should take are timeI have days where pretty much everything I touch or try to do, I knock over, drop, break, it doesn't work already, or I have to clean up something I spill on the floor.
I think this makes me a member of the human race.
Andria
I myself have had days were I wanted to go back to sleep so I did but then again that was when I did not have things like bills, dept. , work. oh to be young again
Haha, every day. They say there's no use crying over spilled milk. But what if every other time you went to pour a glass, something inexplicably knocked it over? It starts to make you a little crazy. You wonder "Why me?" After a certain point, you don't have any more milk to drink. And there's absolutely no reason for it.
But you're still thirsty. So you keep buying the milk and pouring it into the glass. That first sip is life-affirming. Just one glass is all you want and need. It gives your body things that it needs to repair itself and keep moving. It leaves you feeling full and satisfied. It's just that good!
Point is... ...90% of all of your effort will go to waste, but the 10% that doesn't is 100% of what makes all of it worth spending. Suffering doesn't come with an explanation. Life doesn't owe us anything. But because of that, the good is always earned. That's what allows you to look back on a bad day and see meaning in it. Everyone gets what they deserve eventually, whether you think you do or you don't.
I'm not a big believer in fate, but sometimes I think that things that didn't make sense at the time had to happen in retrospect. There have been many mistakes and misfortunes in my life that I can safely say make me fear for what kind of person I would've been and where I would be in life if not for them... ...things I wanted to happen, but didn't. Things I thought should've or needed to happen... ...but didn't. Things that couldn't happen, but did.
Anything smaller than that kind of stuff doesn't register after a while. One of the best and worst things about being human is that we are very forgetful. Life goes on with nothing left unresolved... ...not in your mind, anyway.
It's easy to recognize that things will not always be so bad. Doesn't make you feel better, though, does it? :/ I think it's not knowing when that really distorts a person's perception of their problems. It's sort of like how we can't truly comprehend the scale of the universe even though we have numbers with which to quantify size, mass, and distance. Or like how when you're 8, 4 years is an impossibly long time - you'll never be 12, while when you're 36, it's an existential crisis-inducingly short amount of time. Everything seems incomprehensibly huge when you don't have that meaningful reference point.
But sometimes, you don't really have to understand it. And when you do, you already will. All you can do is be patient. Life is fucking long.
That's what I'd tell myself, if I were you.
Side note: firefox crashed as I was finishing this post the first time around. I reconstructed it from memory.
But you're still thirsty. So you keep buying the milk and pouring it into the glass. That first sip is life-affirming. Just one glass is all you want and need. It gives your body things that it needs to repair itself and keep moving. It leaves you feeling full and satisfied. It's just that good!
Point is... ...90% of all of your effort will go to waste, but the 10% that doesn't is 100% of what makes all of it worth spending. Suffering doesn't come with an explanation. Life doesn't owe us anything. But because of that, the good is always earned. That's what allows you to look back on a bad day and see meaning in it. Everyone gets what they deserve eventually, whether you think you do or you don't.
I'm not a big believer in fate, but sometimes I think that things that didn't make sense at the time had to happen in retrospect. There have been many mistakes and misfortunes in my life that I can safely say make me fear for what kind of person I would've been and where I would be in life if not for them... ...things I wanted to happen, but didn't. Things I thought should've or needed to happen... ...but didn't. Things that couldn't happen, but did.
Anything smaller than that kind of stuff doesn't register after a while. One of the best and worst things about being human is that we are very forgetful. Life goes on with nothing left unresolved... ...not in your mind, anyway.
It's easy to recognize that things will not always be so bad. Doesn't make you feel better, though, does it? :/ I think it's not knowing when that really distorts a person's perception of their problems. It's sort of like how we can't truly comprehend the scale of the universe even though we have numbers with which to quantify size, mass, and distance. Or like how when you're 8, 4 years is an impossibly long time - you'll never be 12, while when you're 36, it's an existential crisis-inducingly short amount of time. Everything seems incomprehensibly huge when you don't have that meaningful reference point.
But sometimes, you don't really have to understand it. And when you do, you already will. All you can do is be patient. Life is fucking long.
That's what I'd tell myself, if I were you.
Side note: firefox crashed as I was finishing this post the first time around. I reconstructed it from memory.
You're sure you're just 26?
I needed that this morning... I do have one question though, what do you do if you can't afford any more milk? Go next-door and steal a moo cow? If things are really bad thendo you get a brown cow so you can have chocolate milk? What if the brown cow doesn't like you? Do you just scream "who now brown cow?"Haha, every day. They say there's no use crying over spilled milk. But what if every other time you went to pour a glass, something inexplicably knocked it over? It starts to make you a little crazy. You wonder "Why me?" After a certain point, you don't have any more milk to drink. And there's absolutely no reason for it.
But you're still thirsty. So you keep buying the milk and pouring it into the glass. That first sip is life-affirming. Just one glass is all you want and need. It gives your body things that it needs to repair itself and keep moving. It leaves you feeling full and satisfied. It's just that good!
Point is... ...90% of all of your effort will go to waste, but the 10% that doesn't is 100% of what makes all of it worth spending. Suffering doesn't come with an explanation. Life doesn't owe us anything. But because of that, the good is always earned. That's what allows you to look back on a bad day and see meaning in it. Everyone gets what they deserve eventually, whether you think you do or you don't.
I'm not a big believer in fate, but sometimes I think that things that didn't make sense at the time had to happen in retrospect. There have been many mistakes and misfortunes in my life that I can safely say make me fear for what kind of person I would've been and where I would be in life if not for them... ...things I wanted to happen, but didn't. Things I thought should've or needed to happen... ...but didn't. Things that couldn't happen, but did.
Anything smaller than that kind of stuff doesn't register after a while. One of the best and worst things about being human is that we are very forgetful. Life goes on with nothing left unresolved... ...not in your mind, anyway.
It's easy to recognize that things will not always be so bad. Doesn't make you feel better, though, does it? :/ I think it's not knowing when that really distorts a person's perception of their problems. It's sort of like how we can't truly comprehend the scale of the universe even though we have numbers with which to quantify size, mass, and distance. Or like how when you're 8, 4 years is an impossibly long time - you'll never be 12, while when you're 36, it's an existential crisis-inducingly short amount of time. Everything seems incomprehensibly huge when you don't have that meaningful reference point.
But sometimes, you don't really have to understand it. And when you do, you already will. All you can do is be patient. Life is fucking long.
That's what I'd tell myself, if I were you.
Side note: firefox crashed as I was finishing this post the first time around. I reconstructed it from memory.
lordmage
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he maybe 26 but he has the soul of a dead poet society member
Isn't that the truth? I always enjoy reading his posts. Well thought out, well articulated. I believe he could post a write up about a rock and keep my attention.he maybe 26 but he has the soul of a dead poet society member
I can't answer that for you. I don't think anybody can. Life isn't fair. Sometimes it's just the right thing to do... ...or more, the only thing you can do. When something vital is taken from you, you take it back. However, taking what's "yours" is a slippery slope. You may say to yourself that you just need to get out of this to get back on the right moral path, but this presents a problem. What if it doesn't get better after that? What happens when you have to go without again? It's a matter of what foundation you want your happiness to reside on. Personally, I've had things taken from me by people who were truly far worse off and would rather go without than take anything from anyone else, whether they have it coming or not because you never really know what all goes into it.
I try not to fixate on the input. Everything that I do is about the output. Ever seen somebody do something incorrigibly shitty and selfish for seemingly no reason? Ever think about what kind of desperation might be driving those actions? What has to be going on in someone's mind for them to rationalize that behavior? It's an ugly situation wherein those affected, being slighted by this person, refuse to acknowledge that reality. It's tragic when that happens, as it only drives the rift between people further out. It creates distance where love and understanding are most needed.
We all suffer. In that regard, we are all equal. Suffering knows suffering. It's unfortunate that we act to disregard one another when under its influence. That is why no matter what I've got going on, I try to pass along positivity whenever I can. Personal trials are nothing more than a lesson in empathy. It's perhaps the greatest tool for bringing people closer to one another. It's never about the circumstances you're facing, but rather the choices you make. Bring more ugliness into the world, and you can no longer complain when it comes back to you, yanno? Better to look for opportunities to be a better person, I think. If we all operated like this, the world would be a much better place.
One thing I try very hard to remember about life is that so long as you're alive, nothing stays the same. The only things guaranteed in life are death and change. Chaos leans towards balance and balance, towards chaos. It really pays to be impartial to that cycle. There are ways to remove yourself from it. When you get desperate, think about what a better-off you will think about what you're about to do. You have to be at your weakest before you can reach the peak of your potential. Wouldn't it be a shame to pass your suffering along to someone else only to wind up in the same place later? Who should help you then? What's the point? That's not progress. It's closing one eye and stepping to the side.
I don't know what your situation is, but I implore you not to let it defeat you. Keep fighting. Bring as much good into the world as you can while you are still able to.
Haha, yes. I'm very much 26. I'm not normal, but I'm still very much my age. If anything, I feel younger than I am... ...just utterly unequipped for life. I think a bit differently than most and have probably experienced some things that I don't think too many people, in general, will ever know, but in every other way, I'm no different from my peers. I'm no less narcissistic... ...no less capable of making poor decisions and totally missing the point.
I've always kind of had a fascination with the human experience... ...just what makes people people and what makes me me. I want to know as much as I can about it. Nothing is more important to me. It took me a long time to realize that not too many people go as far with it as I do.
Maybe I really am an old soul. To me, it is only natural to want to understand things as best as I can. People tell me it brings them suffering - they try not to think about it. I say that the truth is always there, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
Glad you guys enjoy what I have to say, even if it's a whole lot of nothing. I've been told I should write a book a few times. I always kinda joke that even I don't know what that book would be about. I think it would have to be about nothing
A lot of the things I express are things that I have to believe we all know and think, though. I've just put a lot more time into hashing it out. I am able to get the thoughts out because I practice a lot. We actually don't think in language as much as we think we do. Translating raw thoughts and emotions into words takes a lot of effort - I'm sure everyone is familiar with the experience of not being able to find the words. How often does that happen? Strange, isn't it?
When I'm off by myself thinking, I try to write things down. I verbalize what I'm thinking more than is necessary. Whether or not I'm in front of a keyboard or notepad, I'm always writing. Just having these little habits can take you far. I don't consider myself particularly thoughtful or perceptive. The difference between me and apparently a lot of people is that I devote a lot of energy to distilling my thoughts. I think most people don't give themselves enough credit when it comes to how much they can understand and breathe into the world.
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lordmage
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yes write a book i know of at least two buyers already @robot zombie ...
you do have a great way of expressing nothing with a lot of passion.
yes i do enjoy reading your thoughts especially in this day and age of shorthand.
i know my writing is jumbled and can run off but yours is truly an art.
you do have a great way of expressing nothing with a lot of passion.
yes i do enjoy reading your thoughts especially in this day and age of shorthand.
i know my writing is jumbled and can run off but yours is truly an art.
agreed!
I can't answer that for you. I don't think anybody can. Life isn't fair. Sometimes it's just the right thing to do... ...or more, the only thing you can do. When something vital is taken from you, you take it back. However, taking what's "yours" is a slippery slope. You may say to yourself that you just need to get out of this to get back on the right moral path, but this presents a problem. What if it doesn't get better after that? What happens when you have to go without again? It's a matter of what foundation you want your happiness to reside on. Personally, I've had things taken from me by people who were truly far worse off and would rather go without than take anything from anyone else, whether they have it coming or not because you never really know what all goes into it.
I try not to fixate on the input. Everything that I do is about the output. Ever seen somebody do something incorrigibly shitty and selfish for seemingly no reason? Ever think about what kind of desperation might be driving those actions? What has to be going on in someone's mind for them to rationalize that behavior? It's an ugly situation wherein those affected, being slighted by this person, refuse to acknowledge that reality. It's tragic when that happens, as it only drives the rift between people further out. It creates distance where love and understanding are most needed.
We all suffer. In that regard, we are all equal. Suffering knows suffering. It's unfortunate that we act to disregard one another when under its influence. That is why no matter what I've got going on, I try to pass along positivity whenever I can. Personal trials are nothing more than a lesson in empathy. It's perhaps the greatest tool for bringing people closer to one another. It's never about the circumstances you're facing, but rather the choices you make. Bring more ugliness into the world, and you can no longer complain when it comes back to you, yanno? Better to look for opportunities to be a better person, I think. If we all operated like this, the world would be a much better place.
One thing I try very hard to remember about life is that so long as you're alive, nothing stays the same. The only things guaranteed in life are death and change. Chaos leans towards balance and balance, towards chaos. It really pays to be impartial to that cycle. There are ways to remove yourself from it. When you get desperate, think about what a better-off you will think about what you're about to do. You have to be at your weakest before you can reach the peak of your potential. Wouldn't it be a shame to pass your suffering along to someone else only to wind up in the same place later? Who should help you then? What's the point? That's not progress. It's closing one eye and stepping to the side.
I don't know what your situation is, but I implore you not to let it defeat you. Keep fighting. Bring as much good into the world as you can while you are still able to.
Haha, yes. I'm very much 26. I'm not normal, but I'm still very much my age. If anything, I feel younger than I am... ...just utterly unequipped for life. I think a bit differently than most and have probably experienced some things that I don't think too many people, in general, will ever know, but in every other way, I'm no different from my peers. I'm no less narcissistic... ...no less capable of making poor decisions and totally missing the point.
I've always kind of had a fascination with the human experience... ...just what makes people people and what makes me me. I want to know as much as I can about it. Nothing is more important to me. It took me a long time to realize that not too many people go as far with it as I do.
Maybe I really am an old soul. To me, it is only natural to want to understand things as best as I can. People tell me it brings them suffering - they try not to think about it. I say that the truth is always there, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
Glad you guys enjoy what I have to say, even if it's a whole lot of nothing. I've been told I should write a book a few times. I always kinda joke that even I don't know what that book would be about. I think it would have to be about nothing
A lot of the things I express are things that I have to believe we all know and think, though. I've just put a lot more time into hashing it out. I am able to get the thoughts out because I practice a lot. We actually don't think in language as much as we think we do. Translating raw thoughts and emotions into words takes a lot of effort - I'm sure everyone is familiar with the experience of not being able to find the words. How often does that happen? Strange, isn't it?
When I'm off by myself thinking, I try to write things down. I verbalize what I'm thinking more than is necessary. Whether or not I'm in front of a keyboard or notepad, I'm always writing. Just having these little habits can take you far. I don't consider myself particularly thoughtful or perceptive. The difference between me and apparently a lot of people is that I devote a lot of energy to distilling my thoughts. I think most people don't give themselves enough credit when it comes to how much they can understand and breathe into the world.
is that a naked suicidal anime chick following all that positivity? lol or a just a happy nudist reflecting on the trials of everyday animated life? Either way, I respect your outlook to the Nth. I was very optimistic as a child, and had this sort of mindset, live and let live, things will change, etc. that changed, I may need to figure out why... maybe check out the whole PTSD thing while im at it... Not sure im ready to face it all tho... maybe tommorow
AndriaD
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I've changed a lot since my childhood too -- as a kid, I wasn't scared o'NOTHIN! I learned to bike, skate, and swim, but now I seem to be afraid of damn near everything. PTSD *does* have a lot to do with it, and also, being RESPONSIBLE! You come to learn "what could possibly go wrong"... um, everything? Thru no fault of your own but thx to the asshats on Wall St and in Congress... ? Coming within a RCH of being homeless, you learn to really value just having some place to call home.
I was also very optimistic as a child... why wouldn't I have been, I had 2 white-collar-working parents, no siblings, and pretty much anything I needed and a good deal of what I wanted. Adulthood has changed my outlook considerably. For a while I was a total pessimist... now I think I've settled at "pragmatist."
Andria
lordmage
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ghost in the shell not suicidal but quite bad ass
We all suffer. In that regard, we are all equal. Suffering knows suffering. It's unfortunate that we act to disregard one another when under its influence. That is why no matter what I've got going on, I try to pass along positivity whenever I can. Personal trials are nothing more than a lesson in empathy. It's perhaps the greatest tool for bringing people closer to one another. It's never about the circumstances you're facing, but rather the choices you make. Bring more ugliness into the world, and you can no longer complain when it comes back to you, yanno? Better to look for opportunities to be a better person, I think. If we all operated like this, the world would be a much better place.^
^^
Wow
^^
Wow
I too had a pretty nice childhood. We didn't really have a lot, but I didn't want for anything. I had the love of two wonderful parents, lots of great friends, the freedom to learn and explore whatever I wanted to... ...just a lot of great memories - and hope for the future. I was very gifted, academically. I took an SAT coming out of 8th grade and was scouted by Duke's talent program. If I went through with it, I'd have had a good chance at getting in. I'll never forget when my English teacher pulled me aside and told me "See all of these kids in this class? You have something that they don't have. You can literally do anything you want. Think long and hard about what that is."
But I've also had that rude awakening to Murphy's Law. I once saw someone die gruesomely. I have experienced loss and been to the depths of suicidal depression. I know what it's like to literally have nowhere to come home to... ...to not be able to see tomorrow. Point is, I know the everyday fear of life. I carry that with me every day, even when times are better.
Through all of that, one very important lesson sticks out. Happiness and satisfaction are never guaranteed. They depend almost entirely on external factors that one can never predict. However, inner peace is just as the term suggests - it comes from within you. It's something you can always have. Our capacity to internally resolve difficulty and strife are simply miraculous.
Finding it comes down to accepting the circumstances and making choices that you can be satisfied with. The rest is up to fate. The pain of a tragic outcome doesn't magically go away simply by knowing that you have made the best choices that you could have, but it does ease the lament and empower you to continue making choices that may benefit the future happiness of you and the people around you. And in turn, those choices begin to shape your attitude towards life.
This way of operating fosters something inside you that can't be taken away by anyone or anything. Sometimes, it's hard to see the meaning in the fates that befall us, but that doesn't mean we can't carry a purpose.
Even in doing so, you will not always be happy, but if you don't, you can be sure that you'll never be happy. It all comes down to how much discipline you can devote to living consciously. It's the difference between having gut reactions (i.e., doing things that make you feel better,) and taking a good honest look at yourself before making balanced decisions. In order to reconcile yourself with the harshness of life, you have to make choices that reflect your ideals, even if they promise you no reprieve from the dread. This is especially true when your ideals are compromised.
Trying to escape suffering is a losing battle. It leads to desperation. And since future suffering is guaranteed, living in such a way will lead you to a life of desperation. At times, you may have the joy of comfort, but past that, you will be left with nothing but regret. In the end, we all suffer. Death, our final, inescapable experience, is suffering. The best that anyone can do is to try and coexist with all of this pain and fear... ...to carve-out a purposeful existence for themselves.
Live for that alone, not the fruits that it may or may not yield. It's not all about what you accomplish or what sorts of experiences you have. That stuff is part of the bonus round. It's extra. You're excited to play it if you get the chance, but the bonus round doesn't make the game what it is and in fact wouldn't be much of a game at all by itself.
I don't really consider myself an optimist. To me, pure optimism is the equivalent of telling a starving Ethiopian that the secret to their happiness is to imagine that they are full. It just doesn't work as a coping mechanism. I don't believe that suffering is an obstacle in your mind that you can simply overcome and eliminate. It's a real thing. And in fact, I believe it is vital to shaping us as individuals. It's part of what gives our existence value. To deny it a place in your mind is to turn your back on all spiritual growth. You have to find a way to face it and integrate it into your perspective. Treat it like it doesn't matter or try to forget about it and it will consume you.
Like AndriaD, I'm a pragmatist, an opportunist, and a positive person. I would say that the starving Ethiopian should make peace with their hunger and then seek food for the sake of seeking food. If they find it, they will be happy. If they don't, they will have a purpose. When you encounter a problem, the best use of your time and energy is to look at what you have, examine your options, and start making movements.
My mantra, as well as what I'm getting at with all of this is simple. Be patient and honest with yourself.
It's a big ol' whirl out there. In it, there is nothing more vital than finding peace within yourself. Happiness and comfort are not sources of strength and resolve, but rather the products of them. In order to have strength, you must first find peace. And in order to find peace, you have to dissolve the notion that there is something to overcome. The reality is that it's merely resting under a rock nearby, somewhere in a corner of your mind that you haven't been to lately.
But I've also had that rude awakening to Murphy's Law. I once saw someone die gruesomely. I have experienced loss and been to the depths of suicidal depression. I know what it's like to literally have nowhere to come home to... ...to not be able to see tomorrow. Point is, I know the everyday fear of life. I carry that with me every day, even when times are better.
Through all of that, one very important lesson sticks out. Happiness and satisfaction are never guaranteed. They depend almost entirely on external factors that one can never predict. However, inner peace is just as the term suggests - it comes from within you. It's something you can always have. Our capacity to internally resolve difficulty and strife are simply miraculous.
Finding it comes down to accepting the circumstances and making choices that you can be satisfied with. The rest is up to fate. The pain of a tragic outcome doesn't magically go away simply by knowing that you have made the best choices that you could have, but it does ease the lament and empower you to continue making choices that may benefit the future happiness of you and the people around you. And in turn, those choices begin to shape your attitude towards life.
This way of operating fosters something inside you that can't be taken away by anyone or anything. Sometimes, it's hard to see the meaning in the fates that befall us, but that doesn't mean we can't carry a purpose.
Even in doing so, you will not always be happy, but if you don't, you can be sure that you'll never be happy. It all comes down to how much discipline you can devote to living consciously. It's the difference between having gut reactions (i.e., doing things that make you feel better,) and taking a good honest look at yourself before making balanced decisions. In order to reconcile yourself with the harshness of life, you have to make choices that reflect your ideals, even if they promise you no reprieve from the dread. This is especially true when your ideals are compromised.
Trying to escape suffering is a losing battle. It leads to desperation. And since future suffering is guaranteed, living in such a way will lead you to a life of desperation. At times, you may have the joy of comfort, but past that, you will be left with nothing but regret. In the end, we all suffer. Death, our final, inescapable experience, is suffering. The best that anyone can do is to try and coexist with all of this pain and fear... ...to carve-out a purposeful existence for themselves.
Live for that alone, not the fruits that it may or may not yield. It's not all about what you accomplish or what sorts of experiences you have. That stuff is part of the bonus round. It's extra. You're excited to play it if you get the chance, but the bonus round doesn't make the game what it is and in fact wouldn't be much of a game at all by itself.
I don't really consider myself an optimist. To me, pure optimism is the equivalent of telling a starving Ethiopian that the secret to their happiness is to imagine that they are full. It just doesn't work as a coping mechanism. I don't believe that suffering is an obstacle in your mind that you can simply overcome and eliminate. It's a real thing. And in fact, I believe it is vital to shaping us as individuals. It's part of what gives our existence value. To deny it a place in your mind is to turn your back on all spiritual growth. You have to find a way to face it and integrate it into your perspective. Treat it like it doesn't matter or try to forget about it and it will consume you.
Like AndriaD, I'm a pragmatist, an opportunist, and a positive person. I would say that the starving Ethiopian should make peace with their hunger and then seek food for the sake of seeking food. If they find it, they will be happy. If they don't, they will have a purpose. When you encounter a problem, the best use of your time and energy is to look at what you have, examine your options, and start making movements.
My mantra, as well as what I'm getting at with all of this is simple. Be patient and honest with yourself.
It's a big ol' whirl out there. In it, there is nothing more vital than finding peace within yourself. Happiness and comfort are not sources of strength and resolve, but rather the products of them. In order to have strength, you must first find peace. And in order to find peace, you have to dissolve the notion that there is something to overcome. The reality is that it's merely resting under a rock nearby, somewhere in a corner of your mind that you haven't been to lately.
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