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Anyone in recovery?


amateur vaper

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I messed my back up in the last few weeks I was in the Army. The VA docs kept refilling my pain killer prescriptions, then one fateful night I took a Hot Shower after putting on a Fentanyl Pain Patch. I was lucky my wife knew the symptoms of an OD. The Fentanyl absorbed into my blood stream all at once. Two weeks later I was taken by my Doc to a methadone clinic. I was shocked, dopers and people dressed in suits were getting their fix on Methadone. Thankfully, I'm off that shit too. It took a lot of pain and perseverance, but I made it.

15 years without the fucking Poppy. I am happy I managed to get clean.

it takes more than yourself, it takes family.
I've ODed twice from shooting up "h*roin" but in reality it was most likely f**tanyl the shit is so inconsistent you can buy some from your guy one day get some more the next day from the same batch and what you got that day is stronger than what you got the day before and you get a rude awakening but even though it happens its not enough to stop some people from continuing to do it im at 41 days today tho, i dont consider drinking ruining my sober time because I've never had a problem moderating how much and how often i drink I also really only drink when Im with someone else drinking because its been said before that "theres nothing sadder than a lonely drunk" which i mean theres definitely sadder shit out there but its just worded that way to get the point across that being a drunk is no way to live your life because you pretty much end up with no one at some point
 

Ms. Trixy

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I've been there. We all had/have different demons.

 

AndriaD

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Very cool. In august, I'll be hitting 9,490. Couple more years and it'll be over 10,000 days. :) :) :)

Andria
 

jwill

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Very cool. In august, I'll be hitting 9,490. Couple more years and it'll be over 10,000 days. :) :) :)

Andria

Awesome. I set a calendar reminder every 500 days as a reminder of the hard work involved.
 

AndriaD

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Awesome. I set a calendar reminder every 500 days as a reminder of the hard work involved.
After a while, it stops being hard work, and becomes just "normal." :) The mind is lazy; you make a habit of not-drinking, give the mind a groove to rest in, and getting out of that groove takes a serious effect. But how long it takes to get to "the new normal"... that can vary WILDLY, and if something happens that's out of the ordinary -- whether bad or good -- it can knock you out of that groove without a whole lot of effort; that's when you have to be vigilant -- I knew, intellectually, that getting drunk wouldn't make the pain of my mom's death any easier to bear, but that didn't stop the imbecile in my brain from craving chemical numbness. So I went to a meeting, and got reminded, by all the short-timers there, just how much work it really is, at first, and why the hell would I ever wanna go back to that? And I guess that's how meetings are supposed to work -- they were inspired by my then-24 yr sobriety, and they gave me a much-needed and valued reminder of why I really oughta hang on to that sobriety even if my ass falls off. :) (a meeting I used to attend a long time ago used that as one of their closing affirmations: "don't drink, even if your ass falls off." ;) )

Andria
 

jwill

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After a while, it stops being hard work, and becomes just "normal." :) The mind is lazy; you make a habit of not-drinking, give the mind a groove to rest in, and getting out of that groove takes a serious effect. But how long it takes to get to "the new normal"... that can vary WILDLY, and if something happens that's out of the ordinary -- whether bad or good -- it can knock you out of that groove without a whole lot of effort; that's when you have to be vigilant -- I knew, intellectually, that getting drunk wouldn't make the pain of my mom's death any easier to bear, but that didn't stop the imbecile in my brain from craving chemical numbness. So I went to a meeting, and got reminded, by all the short-timers there, just how much work it really is, at first, and why the hell would I ever wanna go back to that? And I guess that's how meetings are supposed to work -- they were inspired by my then-24 yr sobriety, and they gave me a much-needed and valued reminder of why I really oughta hang on to that sobriety even if my ass falls off. :) (a meeting I used to attend a long time ago used that as one of their closing affirmations: "don't drink, even if your ass falls off." ;) )

Andria

I think the hard part is done for the crazings but the reminder is set just in case something in my brain makes it become hard again. First two years were very rough. First one I couldn't be around anyone. Do not want to have to reset the clock on that one or lose any more time.
 

zephyr

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I think the hard part is done for the crazings but the reminder is set just in case something in my brain makes it become hard again. First two years were very rough. First one I couldn't be around anyone. Do not want to have to reset the clock on that one or lose any more time.
They say it's easier to Stay sober than to Get sober, and that is also true in my experience. I used to have a collection of silver 24 hour coins, each time starting over was harder than the last. Lucky I ever stopped this last time. No more coins for me though. I got a new Book and a new family
 

AndriaD

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They say it's easier to Stay sober than to Get sober, and that is also true in my experience. I used to have a collection of silver 24 hour coins, each time starting over was harder than the last. Lucky I ever stopped this last time. No more coins for me though. I got a new Book and a new family
True about smoking too -- my first vaping-quit, whooo, miraculous; 48 hrs of not-smoking and not-spazzing, I was over the moon, and pretty much stayed that way till my appendix just insisted on coming out, the recupe was god-awful, so naturally, my addict-brain decided that it just had to smoke, and I'd quit once with vaping, I could do it again, right? Well, that WAS true, but it wasn't nearly as effortless the 2nd time around. But I always tell people, never say never again, because you just don't know what might come along and knock you for a loop -- if you set it up for yourself as this thing you're NEVER gonna do again, you won't like yourself much if you ever do.

It really IS easier to stay quit, than to convince yourself to quit, ANYTHING with the least addictive potential, and the more addictive potential (cigarettes and alcohol!), the harder it is. But it's hard to know that, till you discover it for yourself. I've discovered both the hard way, and while I won't say NEVER, I can tell you for a FACT that I will neither drink nor smoke today. Tomorrow can take care of itself, which will be much easier since I won't be waking up tomorrow with a hangover or feeling like I licked every ashtray I could find. :)

Andria
 

crazy nick

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@crazy nick How are you doing, Sweetie. Was just thinking about you today.
Hi Ms. Sept 26 i celebrated a year , however on oct 28th tmi relapsed over feelings , i have the worst time dealing with them. Just something im so not used to . However I didnt leave the program , went to 5 meetings the next day. Today I have 50 days. Also 18 days cigarette free bc i went back to that nastiness also. But working on getting a new vape for myself for xmas. I ve choaen the profile rda so far , just undecided on mod
 

Huckleberried

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Glad you made it back relatively ok. It's tough "feeling" stuff, newly sober. It's weird, going though those mad, sad, glad times. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, at first.

When you're sad... BE sad.
When you're angry, BE angry.
When you happy, BE happy.

You get to learn how to live through those feelings, good and bad. Since many of us hid those, or buried the feelings, drinking, or using, it makes it seriously confusing going through those emotions........ SOBER.

S.on
O.f a
B.itch,
E.verything's
R.eal.

I discovered that I can live through sad. And angry. Just had to not keep it inside of me, had to turn to another to get it out. Once you let all those bad feelings out, all the healing can begin. That's the good stuff. That's where you can also help people.

You never know who you might be helping when you share that stuff. Someone else might need some healing, too.

Congrats on your 50 days, Nick. You got right back!! That doesn't happen for everyone. :hug:
 

IcepickMaker84

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My name is Nick and I’m an alcoholic...this is probably about as close to a meeting as I’ve ever been. I was a high functioning alcoholic (I showed up to work and did a great job) for the better part of a decade, basically I turned 21 and it was downhill from there but I worked in music so it was totally acceptable behavior. I hit my 2yr on 12/27/18.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

IronSky

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I will have 14 years clean and sober this April 16th. Feels so weird to say that, considering how bad I was all those years ago. I don’t do meetings anymore, haven’t in over 12 years. Being around people who were constantly in and out of recovery just wasn’t the best environment for me, personally. Made it all seem too normal, instead of acting as a deterrent like it does for others. I know that’s an unpopular stance, but it’s what worked for me. My only vices now are vaping and coffee, and I couldn’t be happier.

Congrats to everyone here. Putting time together is really tough!
 

AndriaD

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I will have 14 years clean and sober this April 16th. Feels so weird to say that, considering how bad I was all those years ago. I don’t do meetings anymore, haven’t in over 12 years. Being around people who were constantly in and out of recovery just wasn’t the best environment for me, personally. Made it all seem too normal, instead of acting as a deterrent like it does for others. I know that’s an unpopular stance, but it’s what worked for me. My only vices now are vaping and coffee, and I couldn’t be happier.

Congrats to everyone here. Putting time together is really tough!
I also stopped doing regular attendance at meetings, after i'd been sober for a year or two... It seemed to me that a lot of those folks have merely substituted their addiction to drugs/alcohol for addiction to meetings, and while that's a very good thing when you're in early recovery, 12 step meetings are meant to give you the tools with which to construct a REAL LIFE -- once you have that, those daily meetings just aren't necessary.

However, anytime I do feel any real temptation to drink -- such as in the immediate aftermath of my mom's death -- I take my alcoholic ass to a meeting! The night I went, after the day at the hospital when my mom died, I was in a really, really bad place, craving chemical numbness worse than ever -- even though (at that time) I'd been sober 24 yrs. Listening to the young people at that meeting (I doubt if anyone there was over 25) reminded me of WHY I'd gotten sober in the first place, listening to all their struggles with health, relationships, children, child custody, etc.. and with just getting thru another 24 hrs without a drink... and reminded me that drinking is no solution to ANYTHING.

So although I was in a lot of pain, I kept my sobriety... and I know my mom would have been very glad for that. Over 26 yrs now, one day at a time. And anytime I feel a real temptation... back to a meeting I go!

Andria
 

IronSky

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I think that's so smart. Good for you.

I had more problems than just alcohol. That old life terrifies me now. I had to adopt the "never again" mind set. I used "one day at a time" as an excuse for too long. It worked in the beginning, but it's not a succesful long term mentality for me. I've learned to cope with life. It's thrown me some major curves; divorce, a child with autism, kidney stones (hardest situation so far, opiates were a thing for me, and I don't handle pain well, but I made it through). Fortunately, I've not had to deal with the death of anyone really close to me. It's a huge accomplishment that you survived that time in your life with your sobriety. I admire that :hug:
 

88ArDeN88

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I just hit 2 years on 1/11/19. Any of you involved in YPAA? I am on the RI service comittee for young people in AA and we just won the bid for the New England service committee for young people in AA so we will be hosting in RI this December!!!! It would be awesome to see some of you there!
 

AndriaD

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I think that's so smart. Good for you.

I had more problems than just alcohol. That old life terrifies me now. I had to adopt the "never again" mind set. I used "one day at a time" as an excuse for too long. It worked in the beginning, but it's not a succesful long term mentality for me. I've learned to cope with life. It's thrown me some major curves; divorce, a child with autism, kidney stones (hardest situation so far, opiates were a thing for me, and I don't handle pain well, but I made it through). Fortunately, I've not had to deal with the death of anyone really close to me. It's a huge accomplishment that you survived that time in your life with your sobriety. I admire that :hug:
To me, one day at a time is all I can deal with. If I don't drink today, I won't be drunk today, and I won't be hungover tomorrow. When it IS tomorrow, it'll be "today" all over again, and I'll get thru that day too, by the same means. I should have kept this in mind when I first quit smoking with vaping, instead of that cocksure newbie stance of "I'll never smoke again!" I should have remembered that fate loves to test those statements, to see if you really mean it. :D After that relapse I had when I was 4 months smoke-free, and then got back to smoke-free, now I just say "I hope I never smoke again," because I'm nearly certain I could get re-re-addicted to cigarettes all over all over all over again. :giggle:

I had a lot of drug problems too, but they were never quite as big an issue for me as the booze; I was very fortunately several months off the Peruvian marching powder at the time I got pregnant, and naturally I never wanted to use that stuff when I was pregnant, nor once I had a baby in my arms -- the people that do that shit are just plain CRAZY!!! :giggle: Having a child cured me of hard drugs completely. But booze... just too damn socially acceptable!

Andria
 

Huckleberried

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I just hit 2 years on 1/11/19. Any of you involved in YPAA? I am on the RI service comittee for young people in AA and we just won the bid for the New England service committee for young people in AA so we will be hosting in RI this December!!!! It would be awesome to see some of you there!
YPAA here is pretty amazing, too. I'm an old fart, but at least I know what you're talking about, lol. It's been a little bit since I've gone to meetings regularly, but I do still get something from the when I go.

The young folks blow me away. I see some really strong sobriety in many of them, really. They're welcoming, they take newer folks under their wings and get them active. It's inspiring how close knit they are and how supportive of each other, too. When I was their age, no way did I care enough. I only ever thought of me. It's nice to see.

Congrats on your 2 years, that awesome! :hug:
 

crazy nick

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So have any of you heard of the drop rda or the topside, dual topside or the drop dead? Well i was watching Jai Haze inside the minds #14 and @ 47 minutes roughly Brian from TVC talks about his addiction and recovery. So freakin awesome. As soon as he started talking i could tell he was in a program. Idk im really excited about this lol
 

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