Engrish Emails

[Browncoat]

As mentioned in another thread, I often get emails from Chinese vendors who are looking for me to sell their products on my website...nevermind the fact that I don't sell anything. Some of these emails are quite funny, so I'm going to share them with you.

I'll remove the product names to protect the innocent.

 

[Browncoat]

Hi, dear Purchase manager , this is Frank
Glad to know you sell vape mod.
by 2 new design mods, we want to be your vendor, please read words and images below.
Red one for 60 watt down to 0.18 ohm. nice design and looking, Excellent performance.
increments between 7w-60w, 0.1W per steps.
Can Fire down to0.18 ohms

To protect your profit, there will be Strictly control for online retail prices. All online retail price should not below about 150%
Please kindly provide your opinions back to me, thanks.

We will send them to you by DHL UPS if you need.


Regards,

Frank Cheng

 

[Browncoat]

Dear Vapor friends,
Nice day, big chance coming. IMREN batteries promotion, discount for large qty!
Products preview (amp is pulse discharge rate):

Contact me to know the newest information now
Best wishes,
Christin

 

[UncleRJ]

 

[Heldar]

I wants all the stuffs now!

 

[GrayVaper]

I wonder if it would be noticed if you went into a Chinese restaurant and ordered from the menu in that vernacular?

 

[UncleRJ]

I remember a Chinese Buffet I used to go to with my cousin all the time and they were famouse for hiring staff right off the boat.

Really the only thing the waiters had to do was to buss the tables and take drink orders.

I will never forget the time one of the new ones came up and I tried to order Unsweetened Ice Tea with Lemon on the side and he responded with a sound that sounded like a cat being strangled.

He brought Lemonaid

 

[pulsevape]

Hmmm...strangled cat huh....that would be Cantonese.....but for pure unadulterated gobbeldygook you have to go to London....more like a dog chewing hot pitch.

 

[Mike H.]

I have a few from alibaba..id buy from them forever if shipping wasnt so high....Product for $9.99 and 50 dollar shipping

 

[UncleRJ]

Hmmm...strangled cat huh....that would be Cantonese.....but for pure unadulterated gobbeldygook you have to go to London....more like a dog chewing hot pitch.

I have been to London and I guess I got lucky.

All the Chinese looking folks in the restaurants had British Accents.

 

[pulsevape]

Hell I wan't talking about the Chinese I was talking about the damn English....I couldn't understand a word they were saying.......as a matter of fact I went onto to Ireland and was hanging out with a bunch of french guys in Ireland.I asked them what they were doing in Ireland,and they told me they were practicing their English,but they always went to Ireland,because the English were to hard to understand.

 

[GrayVaper]

I spent a couple weeks in Paris back in my youth and after a couple days of hearing mostly French I started to really hear my Southern accent. Suddenly I sounded like a redneck and it was driving me crazy.

 

[pulsevape]

Sorry, I couldn't understand a word you just said ......next to native frenchmen speaking french most other languages sound like KOKO the gorilla....a very sensual sounding language without a doubt.

 

[navbouy]

Hell I wan't talking about the Chinese I was talking about the damn English....I couldn't understand a word they were saying.......as a matter of fact I went onto to Ireland and was hanging out with a bunch of french guys in Ireland.I asked them what they were doing in Ireland,and they told me they were practicing their English,but they always went to Ireland,because the English were to hard to understand.

sir a cultivated English accent is a gift to the world,Hugh Grant,James Bond,one must enunciate properly as a gentleman most assuredly always endeavours at all times

 

[pulsevape]

sir a cultivated English accent is a gift to the world,Hugh Grant,James Bond,one must enunciate properly as a gentleman most assuredly always endeavours at all times

.....and then we have the cockney......