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Humour Mill - Smile a Day Challenge

Thread starter KingPin!
Start date Dec 6, 2019

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 14, 2022

#3,501

May be an image of text that says 'My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, Yes..' So I said, Then I'd like to phone a friend. And that's how the fight started.....'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 14, 2022

#3,502

May be a meme of text that says 'NEXT TIME YOU EXPECT CHILDREN TO SHARE, MÀN MÂN REMEMBER HOW Y'ALL ACTED IN 2020 OVER TOILET PAPER.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 14, 2022

#3,503

May be an image of text that says 'LIFE SKILLS CLASS HOW TO SPEAK TO WOMEN DANGEROUS SAFER What's for dinner? SAFEST Can help you with dinner? ULTRA SAFE Where would you like to go for dinner? Are you wearing that? Here, have some wine. You sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at youl What are you so worked up about? Here, have some wine. Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Should you be eating that? Here, have some wine, You know, there arel of apples chocolate What did you DO all day? Here, have some lhope over-do didn't I'vealwayloved youintht'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 14, 2022

#3,504

May be an image of text that says 'Instead of my car saying stupid things like, your door is ajar It should say helpful things like there is a cop hiding in the bushes.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 14, 2022

#3,505

May be an image of text that says 'Why is it called a Pilsner? Because if you drink a lot of it and you have a headache the next morning, you want to make sure you have the pills near... David uenbaum'

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

VU Donator

Diamond Contributor

ECF Refugee

Member For 5 Years

VU Patreon

Mar 15, 2022

#3,506

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

VU Donator

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Member For 5 Years

VU Patreon

Mar 15, 2022

#3,507

W

walton

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

New Member

Reddit Exile

Mar 16, 2022

#3,508

gopher_byrd said:
View attachment 191607

it wont get a pat of me!

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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Mar 18, 2022

#3,509

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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Mar 18, 2022

#3,510

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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Mar 19, 2022

#3,511

Some of you are too young to get this...

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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Mar 19, 2022

#3,512

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

VU Donator

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VU Patreon

Mar 19, 2022

#3,513

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

VU Donator

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VU Patreon

Mar 19, 2022

#3,514

W

walton

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

New Member

Reddit Exile

Mar 19, 2022

#3,515

gopher_byrd said:
View attachment 191744

if the leprechaun lived in ireland and worked in a service station, all he would be able to do is blow your tyres up. (ira)

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 19, 2022

#3,516

May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'It's not called slurring your words It's called talking in cursive and it's classy'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 19, 2022

#3,517

May be an image of text that says 'Kick my seat again and I'll tell them I smell drugs'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 19, 2022

#3,518

May be an image of text that says 'a father bought a lie detector robot rhat slaps who ever lie so he decided to test at dinner time father: son where were you last night son: dad we went to study in my friends house the robot slap the son son: ok we went and watch a movie father: what kind of movie son: akila and the bee the robot slap the son again son: a porngraphy father: when was at your age watch porn movies the robat slap the father hard mother: hahahahaha after all he's your son the robot slap the mother feeling thankful. never'

VapeOn1960

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

ECF Refugee

Mar 19, 2022

#3,519

Umm... just looked his up.
https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/humorous

W

walton

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

New Member

Reddit Exile

Mar 19, 2022

#3,520

Jimi said:

you are sick my friend lol
what is the worst thing you can do to your partner when you are having sex?

answer phone them up!

Freyja

Silver Contributor

Member For 4 Years

Mar 20, 2022

#3,521

geordie said:
what is the worst thing you can do to your partner when you are having sex?

answer phone them up!

"Do you tell your husband that you love him after you have sex?"
"If there's a phone handy."

W

walton

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

New Member

Reddit Exile

Mar 20, 2022

#3,522

Freyja said:
"Do you tell your husband that you love him after you have sex?"
"If there's a phone handy."

or if there is nothing jn your mouth lol

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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VU Patreon

Mar 20, 2022

#3,523

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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VU Patreon

Mar 20, 2022

#3,524

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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VU Patreon

Mar 20, 2022

#3,525

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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VU Patreon

Mar 21, 2022

#3,526

SnapDragon NY

Senior Moderator

Staff member

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Press Corps

Member For 5 Years

VU SWAT

Mar 26, 2022

#3,527

gopher_byrd

Cranky Old Fart

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ECF Refugee

Member For 5 Years

VU Patreon

Mar 27, 2022

#3,528

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,529

May be an image of text that says 'DIET TIP: Eat food off of other people's plates. Those are their calories. They don't count.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,530

May be a meme of 2 people and text that says 'Ifthat thing starts singing, I'm out ofhere! Cuስtl Singing? Worry ifit clears its throat first!'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,531

May be an image of text that says 'I STARTED A NEW EXERCISE ROUTINE. EVERYDAY I DO DIDDLY-SQUATS.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,532

May be an image of 2 people and text that says 'I've hardly done anything on my Bucket List. Just change the B to a F and you'll feel much better about it.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,533

May be an image of one or more people and text that says 'MOTHER IN LAW CAME FOR DINNER AND SAID WHY DOES YOUR DOG KEEP LOOKING AT ME I SAID IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE USING HIS PLATE'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,534

May be an image of 1 person and text

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,535

May be a meme of 2 people and text that says 'Are you involved in any dangerous sports? Well, sometimes I disagree with my wife. mgihp.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,536

May be an image of 1 person, outdoors and text that says 'I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right and exercise.... BUTTHAT WAS 4 HOURS AGO...., WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND FULL OF HOPE 10 A'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 27, 2022

#3,537

May be an image of text that says 'Other people in morning. My first one hour in morning.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,538

May be an image of 4 people and text that says 'FIRED ON HIS FIRST DAY JUST BECAUSE He ACCIDENTALLY PUT HIS PANTS ON BACKWARDS'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,539

Sorry ladies but I have come across a few

May be an image of text that says 'TELLING A WOMAN TO CALM DOWN WORKS ABOUT As WELL AS BAPTIZING A'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,540

May be an image of text that says 'Gas is so high the mailman is working from home. He called me yesterday to read my bills to me...'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,541

May be an image of text that says 'I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit.A minute later, some guy did exactly the same. I said to him, I just did that. So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,542

May be an image of text that says 'IF YOU THINK YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THE PREVIOUS GENERATION... 50 YEARS AGO. THE OWNERS MANUAL OF A CAR SHOWED YOU HOW TO ADJUST THE VALVES. TODAY IT WARNS YOU NOT TO DRINK THE CONTENTS.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,543

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,544

May be an image of text that says 'THEGREATEST PLEASUR READING A BOOK... IF YOU SEE ANYTHING ELSE, CONSULT YOUR PSYCHOLOGIST.'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 28, 2022

#3,545

May be an image of 1 person, drink and text that says 'I'monthe on the Gin & Tonic Diet ofurh lost'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 30, 2022

#3,546

May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'Never snort Viagra'

W

walton

Gold Contributor

Member For 4 Years

New Member

Reddit Exile

Mar 30, 2022

#3,547

Jimi said:

good one buddy

gadget!

"The Trader"

VU Donator

Platinum Contributor

Member For 5 Years

VU SWAT

VU Patreon

Mar 30, 2022

#3,548

Sent from a Galaxy far far away

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 30, 2022

#3,549

May be an image of 1 person, outdoors, tree and text that says 'REANL FOR THAT ONE NEIGHBOR YOU DON'T LIKE'

Jimi

Diamond Contributor

Member For 5 Years

Mar 30, 2022

#3,550

May be an image of 2 people and text that says 'WHEN IT TOO HOT FORPANTS, YET TOO COLD FOR SHORTS.. ~420&X SHOW GET YOURSELF A PAIR OF SHANTS!!'

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