I’m an Expert ask me (almost) anything Challenge (Closes 3/15/19) 9 PRIZES 9 Winners!!!

[ajvapes]

#Q How many spare USB cords does one need to be happy?

I am an expert because I put all my usb cords in one box...

#A The number of spare cord that you have can be represented as n , therefore the number of cords one needs to be happy is n+1 since I can never fiind any when I need one.

 

[The Cromwell]

Then there are USB cord elitists....

 

[ajvapes]

Then there are USB cord elitists....

High end USB cables only....

 

[The Cromwell]

High end USB cables only....

Just be sure you get the genuine article. I have seen cheap clones of high end USB cables at Family Dollar stores. Fake gold braid... Imagine that...

 

[Just Lil Clouds]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

 

[The Cromwell]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert because I am a nice guy
#A
Since you said 'you' and I am not a rude kind of person.
I have no answer.

 

[inthedark]

Great answer. Such intelligence

There is no way you could know how valuable it was to me for somebody to say that just now. Thank you.

 

[Huckleberried]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I happen to be an expert because I can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.

A# >whispering< I'm not as nice as Bob.

(The Cromwell)

 

[MrMeowgi]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

A# because I am an expert at the creepiest shit ever.
I got it done. And they'll never find the barrel of acid.

 

[BobsHere]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert because I am jacked up.

#A Can I lick your daughter?

 

[BobsHere]

Hey hey hey. I didn't ask the damn question.

 

[KingPin!]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I’m an expert at this

#A here ....smell my finger

 

[BobsHere]

#Q What would be the nicest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

 

[KingPin!]

#Q What would be the nicest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I’m deffo an an expert at this

A# sorry .....I meant smell this finger

 

[inthedark]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

A#

I'm an expert because I watch a lot of movies about expert creeps.

I think the creepiest would be:

You're late. Do you need a reminder of how much I hate it when you're late?

 

[MrMeowgi]

I’m deffo an an expert at this

A# sorry .....I meant smell this finger

Lmao

 

[Just Lil Clouds]

#Q What would be the nicest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I'm an expert oh shoot who am I kidding I'm no expert at being nice.
#A Good morning.

That's all i can come up with.

 

[jwill]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert because I am not allowed within 50 yards of a playground (court orders and shit).

A#
You smell really pretty when you sleep. What is that lotion that you use before you turn out the lights.

 

[MrMeowgi]

I am an expert because I am not allowed within 50 yards of a playground (court orders and shit).

A#
You smell really pretty when you sleep. What is that lotion that you use before you turn out the lights.

Ha ha ha

 

[BobsHere]

Ha ha ha

Ya, I thought I was creepy...jeez

 

[MrMeowgi]

Ya, I thought I was creepy...jeez

That was fairly creepy. Lol

 

[jwill]

Ya, I thought I was creepy...jeez

So what, you have never said that to someone? Its an uncomfortable conversation with some people, but others are OK with it.

 

[The Cromwell]

One could put the pressure on them to have a nice day...

What? You disrespecting my crappy day??

 

[BobsHere]

So what, you have never said that to someone? Its an uncomfortable conversation with some people, but others are OK with it.

I'm OK with it, but I'm a creep.

 

[jwill]

I'm OK with it, but I'm a creep.

Just making sure you werent judging.

 

[~Don~]

#Q What would be the nicest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert on this question, for I like to start shit and reminds me of the apprentices I had working for me... which I all named Petunia...well minus one guy... called him goober...even when I filled out his time card... Goober Valles


#A Hey Petunia!

 

[ajvapes]

#Q
What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert because I vape "Silence of the clouds".

#A : My name is Hannibal, care to join me for dinner...

 

[ajvapes]

#Q What would be the nicest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

I am an expert because I vape "Silence of the clouds".

#A : My name is Hannibal, care to join me for dinner...

 

[BobsHere]

Just making sure you werent judging.

Oh hell no.

 

[Letitia9]

I’m an expert at this

#A here ....smell my finger

I wish I could vote this #1.

 

[The Cromwell]

Some people would eagerly smell the finger of some people.
Their nose would smell the same way as the other persons finger anyway.

 

[Letitia9]

#Q
What evil possessed Letitia to buy a voopoo pod last night?

 

[~Don~]

#Q
What evil possessed Letitia to buy a voopoo pod last night?

I am an expert on this subject for I like oranges.

#A Bananas

 

[inthedark]

#Q
What evil possessed Letitia to buy a voopoo pod last night?

#A

I'm an expert because I have a Voopoo pod - Drag 2 - and it's GREAT.

You were not demon-possessed. You were guided by the forces of light.

My only disappointment is - I'm sure if they'd taken a little time for thought they could've come up with a dumber name than Voopoo.

 

[The Cromwell]

#Q
What evil possessed Letitia to buy a voopoo pod last night?

I am an expert because I own 2 Wanko Attys.

#A
You thought they had Wanko Pods for the Voopoo?

 

[BobsHere]

#Q
What evil possessed Letitia to buy a voopoo pod last night?

I am an expert because it happens to me all the time.

#A The mouse slipped, fell down, and bonked it's little head on the checkout button.
Edit: the mouse is possessed.

 

[~Don~]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

 

[The Cromwell]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

I am an expert because I have a DILLIGAF attitude.
#A
Because you have to let them know that you do not care.
Otherwise they might think you are impressed beyond expression.

 

[BobsHere]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

I am an expert beacuse I don't know don't care.

#A I don't know don't care.

 

[inthedark]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

A#

I am an expert because I had three (count 'em, THREE felonious stepsons) who constantly asked me for advice and then studiously avoided implementing any of it. I have done more than my share of hand-throwing.

Good question. I think the gesture means - this is no longer in my hands. Most of us don't have minions we can send to bring us a bowl of water and a towel so we can symbolically wash our hands like Pontius Pilate and most of us don't enjoy company at the bathroom sink - so hand-throwing came into vogue.

 

[nadalama]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

I am an expert because I don't give a shit.

A: Contrary to the statement of the person who supposedly doesn't care, this gesture is all for people who quite clearly DO care what other people think. If they truly didn't care, then they wouldn't be bothered that other people would think everything's hunky dory with them if they don't make some meaningless gesture in response to the actions of others, meant to express their disapproval and/or frustration.

If they didn't care, they'd just turn the TV on, or roll over and go back to sleep, or walk off, or take another bite of their pie.

 

[Letitia9]

I am an expert because I own 2 Wanko Attys.

#A
You thought they had Wanko Pods for the Voopoo?

I was so disappointed, no wanko included.

 

[inthedark]

I am an expert because it happens to me all the time.

#A The mouse slipped, fell down, and bonked it's little head on the checkout button.
Edit: the mouse is possessed.

What model did you order?

 

[KingPin!]

#Q You know the saying “throw ya hands in the air like ya don’t care”? why bother doing that if you don’t care?

I’m an expert because i found the answer on page 44 of the Haynes manual

A# it’s an inititation whiff ritual - it’s proves to your fellow “I dont carers” that you didn’t bother putting deodrant on this morning

 

[KingPin!]

Q# is there any “real” word(s) that rhymes with Orange?...if so what is it

 

[KingPin!]

....can see you running this through your heads now Dorange, Lorange, Borange .....

 

[Huckleberried]

Q# is there anything that rhymes with Orange?

I happen to be an expert because I do enjoy apples.

A# Why, yes, there is!

ETA, because KP wasn't very specific (now were you?? ) The word would be Sporange.

 

[KingPin!]

I happen to be an expert because I do enjoy apples.

A# Why, yes, there is!

Dammit ...ok edited my post

 

[Huckleberried]

Dammit ...ok edited my post

Hahahaha! Cheater!. Ok, I'll edit mine, as well.

 

[KingPin!]

Hahahaha! Cheater!. Ok, I'll edit mine, as well.

Dammit ...ok I’ve edited my post again


Oh shit that is a real word...well done you!

there is one more (two words together actually)