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Old Pharts Club
- Thread starter The Cromwell
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Good night, amigo. Catch ya on the morrow... 
Funny you should say that. The weather dude today said that for South Dakota this month, nearly every day has been 25 degrees below "normal." It was 46 here today, so it should have been 70+. Sigh...
Well, I guess we have something in common.....
Yeah, like eternal winter. Isn't it normally 70-75 in your area at Xmas time?Well, I guess we have something in common.....
Yes, continuous light rain all damn day. Well, at least it was "light" instead of the downpour we had yesterday, and the wind was considerably less too.
Yes, it's Nov Dec Jan Feb March........ weather...should be pushing 100+ now
Well, if I lived where you live, I have no doubt I would be rejoicing about the cooler temperatures instead of bitching about it here. Oh well...
Did you happen to see this post chopdoc posted?
Son-of-a-bitch, that is hilarious
I had tears rolling!
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK
AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.
Son-of-a-bitch, that is hilarious
I had tears rolling!
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK
AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.
No, I missed it, but luckily I am not one to fall into the new feminist anti-male game and try to eliminate ANY of my body hair just because someone else thinks I should, and if what this Brit says is even close to the truth, like HOLY FUCKING SHIT, MAN! do not ever use that product. Wow!
But it was pretty funny.
Sleep well, friend, and don't work too hard tomorrow. Catch ya later.
Today was a Balzer kind of day.
Oil change, greases, tire check, etc and even vacuum!
All the wile hearing thunder boomers and hot as heck but neither rain nor electrons got me.
Put the power chair carrier on back of Blazer.
tomorrow trip to big city a grandson is getting operated on. Serious but not life threatening.
Have to take power chair for wife since it is a long distance from parking garage to childrens hospital.
Much more than 1 days pain allowance for her.
Hitting the sack soon since I have to get up early..
Hope everyone had a good day, great even
Oil change, greases, tire check, etc and even vacuum!
All the wile hearing thunder boomers and hot as heck but neither rain nor electrons got me.
Put the power chair carrier on back of Blazer.
tomorrow trip to big city a grandson is getting operated on. Serious but not life threatening.
Have to take power chair for wife since it is a long distance from parking garage to childrens hospital.
Much more than 1 days pain allowance for her.
Hitting the sack soon since I have to get up early..
Hope everyone had a good day, great even
Low overcast all day with light rain off and on. The stratocumulus broke apart and showed us that the sun is still up there, but in spite of the fact that this demonstration of solar existence lasted for maybe all of 90 seconds, the thermometer managed to make it all the way up to 52.
In the 15 years we have played farmer/rancher here, this past week of continuous wetness has created the worst "swamp" in the corrals that I have ever seen. It is amazing we can walk across and still have boots on our feet (slurp, suck, struggle, slip, slurp).
Oh please, great weather gawds in the sky,
give us at least a few days of dry.
In the 15 years we have played farmer/rancher here, this past week of continuous wetness has created the worst "swamp" in the corrals that I have ever seen. It is amazing we can walk across and still have boots on our feet (slurp, suck, struggle, slip, slurp).
Oh please, great weather gawds in the sky,
give us at least a few days of dry.
Imagine it is one hell of a mess, Rich....been nonstop for awhile now. Just think, it can only get better....I'm not sure it could worsenLow overcast all day with light rain off and on. The stratocumulus broke apart and showed us that the sun is still up there, but in spite of the fact that this demonstration of solar existence lasted for maybe all of 90 seconds, the thermometer managed to make it all the way up to 52.
In the 15 years we have played farmer/rancher here, this past week of continuous wetness has created the worst "swamp" in the corrals that I have ever seen. It is amazing we can walk across and still have boots on our feet (slurp, suck, struggle, slip, slurp).
Oh please, great weather gawds in the sky,
give us at least a few days of dry.
We were discussing this weather and comparing it to living in the greater Porkland area (Orygun) many years ago. Having grown up in an area that has rain over 300 days per year, you kind of think that is the way the whole world is... until you find something else and get used to it and start taking it for granted, then the Orygun weather demons sneak up on you again and remind you how miserable things used to be. Yes, it could be worse. Back there, we just sat in the house and watched TV, then popped out an umbrella and ran to the car, drove to work, stayed inside, and generally tried to ignore the fact that everything in your closet had mold on it. Back there, we did not try to run a farm. We did not have to go outside and slog through the slop. Yes, Orygun farmers did, but we were not part of that circle back in those days. Now we are. And now we are also old folks who move slower and bitch more. Believe it or not, this is better than Soggy Valley (north Willamette Valley of Orygun). But, back then,. we also did not have buckets in the kitchen catching the rain that comes through the roof. Six of one, half a dozen of the other........ Sigh.
Tomorrow is monthly shopping day (two days late because it is supposed to be less rainy and I cannot buy grain when it rains - there is no canopy on my truck). In any case, I will stop at Jolly Lane nursery and get tomatoes and peppers, but we will have to set up a staging area in the shop until we can finish cleaning up the garden enough to planet stuff.
I will send energy in his direction with hopes he recovers quickly. I miss him being here.
No. Due to the current temperature problems and cat situation, no plants got started in the house this year. That's why I am buying sprouts at the nursery tomorrow,
I have to go to the doctor in the morning to get blood test results. I like to blow their mind. I don't need any explanations, just the paper please, I'll make any adjustments necessary, if any are actually needed.
See my previous response.....
DITTO. I love to see the expression on the doctor's face when I discuss something with them and they realize that I know as much as (sometimes more than) they do.
Oh indeed.....last visit she tried to lecture me about Iodine, I had her using Google by the time I left her office.
Too bad there is not a "LOVE IT" button instead of just a "LIKE."
Anyway, I need to crawl in the sack now. Tomorrow has several extra stops on the list so it is going to be a very long day.
Nitey nite. Back tomorrow night (I hope).
Anyway, I need to crawl in the sack now. Tomorrow has several extra stops on the list so it is going to be a very long day.
Nitey nite. Back tomorrow night (I hope).
Barely. This ancient body hurts so much, I wish I never had to go shopping ever again. But Lannie, being home alone, didn't fare any better, and because she is already asleep, I will tell what little of her story that I can. Maybe she will elaborate in the morning. Seems the weather guessers claimed it would only be partly cloudy with a 10% chance of rain. She said it was mostly cloudy and rained off and on all day (high of 59) and, during all that, she was stalking a female coyote who seems to think she can come in here and raid the place at her leisure. Jasper, in his depression over losing his mate, seems to see no reason to chase her away. Perhaps, because she is alone and not aggressive toward him, maybe she will take Kiara's place???
Lannie sees a reason why she should stay away. The chickens do too. The Guineas do (at least they yell at her). So, with .22LR in hand, Lannie tried to convince the coyote she didn't really want to be here. Between housework and cow work and chasing the coyote in the rain and mud, her day was as full and as tiring as mine.My day: I drove the 75 miles to Belle Fourche and got rained on most of the way. Looking south, I noted that the Black Hills were once again totally white. We got rain last night and today and it appears they got snow. When I finished there, I headed south to Spearfish and immediate saw they had snow in all the ditches and some still on the roadway. Luckily it was no longer raining on me because I had bags of feed in the back of the truck and they are paper. Walmart's parking lot had just been plowed this morning, so they obviously got several inches. I saw that snow all the way through Sturgis and halfway to Rapid City. The cutoff line must have been just a few miles south of us and I am glad because I have yet to apply for a loan to fix the Bobcat. I had to hit three more stores than normal in Rapid City, so I walked too much and lifted too much and all my usual bitches. Pain cream on the legs to help with the cramps.
I was about an hour and a half later than normal getting home, so Lannie had done evening chores by herself, but still helped me unload. I had grabbed Chinese take out on the way home, so we ate that and she crashed and I came down here to see what, if anything, might be on the computer, but I admit I might fall over at any minute.
Yeah. I might just have to get out the .45-70 and do some "hunting." I would prefer, however, that Jasper get out of his funk at losing Kiara and HE should take care of this problem.
Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Yakamorrow.
Well, I dunno, maybe being shot at has made Ms. Coyote think twice about coming through the fence. And the fact that I stuffed some dead wild plum branches (the thorns are HUGE) into the "escape hatch" under the perimeter fence. I was just out wandering around and listening, and the guineas are quiet, Jasper is out on his compost pile, and there seems to be no signs of the coyote. This time of day is when she's been coming in, so fingers crossed she'll stay away at least a day or two before I have to start worrying about her again.
Something Rich didn't mention is that I've left Cricket's calf, Evelyn, with her the last two days to take care of milking since the mud and rain has been so bad. Even the inside of the barn is nasty and not pleasant to try to milk in. But while I was out tailing the coyote yesterday morning, I heard Cricket mooing very loudly and when I went to see why, I saw her udder was full to bursting. Evelyn was right there, but apparently she's more interested in the new green grass now than she is in milk, so she hadn't nursed in quite a while. One clue was the amount of MUD on Cricket's teats. So I had to go back to the house and get my milking stuff together and get Cricket in to milk her, but I couldn't even get her cleaned up completely because the mud was caked on so bad, and I think she's got cuts and slices from Evelyn's teeth. I'm mystified, because it was only two days I didn't milk, and she was perfectly fine the last time I did milk. So I spent 20 minutes trying to get milk out of her while she tried to kick me into stopping, because it was hurting. I managed to avoid her foot OK, but she did catch me square in the forehead with her knee bone once. Kinda made me dizzy for a minute... So that wasn't very fun, and the acrobatics I had to do to accomplish my task pulled just about every muscle I own, LOL!
Luckily, Rich always calls from town to see if I forgot anything on the shopping list, so when he did, I told him to pick up a couple of tubes of Ora-Jel. I'll slather some of that on Cricket's teats this morning before milking, and that should take the edge off and make it a bit more pleasant for both of us.
The good news is there's blue sky outside right now, so once the sun gets up, it's looking to be a nice day. I hope it dries out some. I was trying to fetch the two heifers in last night at choretime and had to go through the deep stuff in front of the barn door to get behind them to herd them in. That shit is literally deep to within a couple inches of the tops of my boots (knee high boots!). I was stuck but good. Even though there are ties at the top of the boots, I still almost pulled out of them trying to take a step, and balance? HA! Once I came >this< close to going into that cesspool face-first. If a bird had farted in my direction it would have been enough to tip me the rest of the way over. OMG. But I managed to get back upright and make it the rest of the way in. The girls, of course, just walked through it and were already in their stall by the time I'd extricated myself from the sludge.
We have one dry day, today, then supposed to be more thunderstorms and possible (PROBABLE) heavy rain on Sunday and Monday. After that, the forecast says sunny and dry, but I'll believe it when I see it. At least the temps are going up into the mid to high 60s.
Something Rich didn't mention is that I've left Cricket's calf, Evelyn, with her the last two days to take care of milking since the mud and rain has been so bad. Even the inside of the barn is nasty and not pleasant to try to milk in. But while I was out tailing the coyote yesterday morning, I heard Cricket mooing very loudly and when I went to see why, I saw her udder was full to bursting. Evelyn was right there, but apparently she's more interested in the new green grass now than she is in milk, so she hadn't nursed in quite a while. One clue was the amount of MUD on Cricket's teats. So I had to go back to the house and get my milking stuff together and get Cricket in to milk her, but I couldn't even get her cleaned up completely because the mud was caked on so bad, and I think she's got cuts and slices from Evelyn's teeth. I'm mystified, because it was only two days I didn't milk, and she was perfectly fine the last time I did milk. So I spent 20 minutes trying to get milk out of her while she tried to kick me into stopping, because it was hurting. I managed to avoid her foot OK, but she did catch me square in the forehead with her knee bone once. Kinda made me dizzy for a minute... So that wasn't very fun, and the acrobatics I had to do to accomplish my task pulled just about every muscle I own, LOL!
Luckily, Rich always calls from town to see if I forgot anything on the shopping list, so when he did, I told him to pick up a couple of tubes of Ora-Jel. I'll slather some of that on Cricket's teats this morning before milking, and that should take the edge off and make it a bit more pleasant for both of us.
The good news is there's blue sky outside right now, so once the sun gets up, it's looking to be a nice day. I hope it dries out some. I was trying to fetch the two heifers in last night at choretime and had to go through the deep stuff in front of the barn door to get behind them to herd them in. That shit is literally deep to within a couple inches of the tops of my boots (knee high boots!). I was stuck but good. Even though there are ties at the top of the boots, I still almost pulled out of them trying to take a step, and balance? HA! Once I came >this< close to going into that cesspool face-first. If a bird had farted in my direction it would have been enough to tip me the rest of the way over. OMG. But I managed to get back upright and make it the rest of the way in. The girls, of course, just walked through it and were already in their stall by the time I'd extricated myself from the sludge.
We have one dry day, today, then supposed to be more thunderstorms and possible (PROBABLE) heavy rain on Sunday and Monday. After that, the forecast says sunny and dry, but I'll believe it when I see it. At least the temps are going up into the mid to high 60s.
More good news from the farm: a couple days ago, after we realized the coyote ate the mama hen to those 13 chicks in the hay room, I snagged a broody hen out of the chicken coop. I figured she was the most likely candidate to take the place of the dead mama because every evening for several weeks, I have had to move her off the nest to steal the eggs she had gathered under her, but she went right back in the nest box after I did that and would gather 4 or 5 more of the other hens' eggs to sit on. Anyway, I snatched her out of her nest box and carried her into the hay room. Lannie was putting out food for the babies and the daddy rooster (someone who always lost the fight with other roosters, so he refuses to even try to live in the coop and took on this task because the original hen allowed it), who was trying his best to take care of the babies in spite of not being a mommy. Anyway, I put the other broody hen down next to the babies and at first, she did the standard routine: these are not MY babies, so I need to peck them until they go away or die. Lannie and I stood and observed and she calmed down, but still wasn't accepting them as we hoped she would. Perhaps it was the influence of the rooster trying to care for the babies, but that hen stopped being mean and allowed the chicks to come to her. Next day, she was a little better, but still wasn't teaching them to find food. We are feeding them, so that wasn't a show stopper. Today, however, the chicks are following her around as if she was their real mommy and when Lannie tried to herd a couple stray chicks back where they belonged, the hen yelled at Lannie and lurched toward her. She was protecting the babies! That means she has accepted them as her personal charges and we are no longer worried that those babies will be lost because the coyote ate their mama.
a couple days ago, after we realized the coyote ate the mama hen to those 13 chicks in the hay room, I snagged a broody hen out of the chicken coop. I figured she was the most likely candidate to take the place of the dead mama because every evening for several weeks, I have had to move her off the nest to steal the eggs she had gathered under her, but she went right back in the nest box after I did that and would gather 4 or 5 more of the other hens' eggs to sit on. Anyway, I snatched her out of her nest box and carried her into the hay room. Lannie was putting out food for the babies and the daddy rooster (someone who always lost the fight with other roosters, so he refuses to even try to live in the coop and took on this task because the original hen allowed it), who was trying his best to take care of the babies in spite of not being a mommy. Anyway, I put the other broody hen down next to the babies and at first, she did the standard routine: these are not MY babies, so I need to peck them until they go away or die. Lannie and I stood and observed and she calmed down, but still wasn't accepting them as we hoped she would. Perhaps it was the influence of the rooster trying to care for the babies, but that hen stopped being mean and allowed the chicks to come to her. Next day, she was a little better, but still wasn't teaching them to find food. We are feeding them, so that wasn't a show stopper. Today, however, the chicks are following her around as if she was their real mommy and when Lannie tried to herd a couple stray chicks back where they belonged, the hen yelled at Lannie and lurched toward her. She was protecting the babies! That means she has accepted them as her personal charges and we are no longer worried that those babies will be lost because the coyote ate their mama.
JuicyLucy
My name is Lucy and I am a squonkaholic
VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
VU Challenge Team
Member For 5 Years
Great, the powers that be are now labeling those of us who choose to eat as healthy as possible as mentally ill
Must be a threat to the pharmaceutical industry and purveyors of poison disguised as food
An Unhealthy Obsession With Healthy Foodhttps://magazine.nasm.org/american.../an-unhealthy-obsession-with-healthy-food
Must be a threat to the pharmaceutical industry and purveyors of poison disguised as food
An Unhealthy Obsession With Healthy Foodhttps://magazine.nasm.org/american.../an-unhealthy-obsession-with-healthy-food
I never considered myself as "obsessed" with healthy foods, but it is a "known fact" that the farther away you stay from junk foods, the longer you will live. Then again, I have heard the argument many times that one friend or another would rather live a short but happy life than a long and boring one. I guess each of us just has to make our choices and take our chances.
JuicyLucy
My name is Lucy and I am a squonkaholic
VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
VU Challenge Team
Member For 5 Years
I never considered myself as "obsessed" with healthy foods, but it is a "known fact" that the farther away you stay from junk foods, the longer you will live. Then again, I have heard the argument many times that one friend or another would rather live a short but happy life than a long and boring one. I guess each of us just has to make our choices and take our chances.
I can say in all honesty I am much happier since I got healthier
Feeling like you are dying when you are alive sucks
I agree with you 100% Juice. And it really does feel nicer to weigh only half of what my max weight once was. I have been saddened, however, that I was unable to convince my sister-in-law, who is now dead because of junk food, and a few others.
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