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section for insomniacs? Seems like lots of us deal with that


dez

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In the CBD Forum, lots of people are saying that they are Insomniacs.. and it may not be popular enough to deserve a section, but just an idea. There were lots of discussions going back and forth from people who just can't sleep at night so they are on this forum. Thanks!
 

Huckleberried

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We have a Non Vaping Related section in the forum. There used to be a thread for night owls. Can't recall the name of it, though.
 

88ArDeN88

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Your night owl syndrome may, and this is just a theory, be related to your nicotine consumption. I switch to 0% at bedtime. It has helped me sleep MUCH better. I usually throw in some type of sugar cookie or cake in the squonk bottle, have a sleepytime tea, and I get to sleep pretty quickly. Nicotine is a stimulant. I would sit in my bed watching tv and smoke my room out and wonder why I couldn't fall asleep.
 
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dez

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Your night owl syndrome may, and this is just a theory, be related to your nicotine consumption. I switch to 0% at bedtime. It has helped me sleep MUCH better. I usually throw in some type of sugar cookie or cake in the squonk bottle, have a sleepytime tea, and I get to sleep pretty quickly. Nicotine is a stimulant. I would sit in my bed watching tv and smoke my room out and wonder why I couldn't fall asleep.
I've had terrible insomnia since I was young, but am switching to zero nic anyway. Thanks!
 

88ArDeN88

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I've had terrible insomnia since I was young, but am switching to zero nic anyway. Thanks!
Nice! Yah, I understand it is a condition, and I do not envy you for having it. I would go crazy. Congrats on the 0 nic, that's great. I need my nic during the day, it keeps me sane.
 

dez

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Nice! Yah, I understand it is a condition, and I do not envy you for having it. I would go crazy. Congrats on the 0 nic, that's great. I need my nic during the day, it keeps me sane.
I had always used 5% nicotine just because it emboldens The Taste I feel, but I am switching to zero because in the particular flavor I have it tastes fine in a zero, and I've been smoking this flavor for several years.
 

dez

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Recently I've read an article about different kinds of sedative medecines and I should say that I really sorry for people who have to eliminate their stress that way. There are many side-effects described and it happens so that treating one evil, you get another. I've heard that zolpidem produced by teva has the least negative consequences for a human body. Unfortunately, very often it's quite expensive if you buy it in a drugstore but here I've found the medicine at an affordable price. What do you think about it?
This used to be one that worked for me but they quit wanting to give it out with the 10 mg dose and a dose less than 10 mg wouldn't do it for me. Also there is the price since I do not have medical coverage. It was one of the few that really did help me sleep without making me too groggy the next morning.
 

dez

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Recently I've read an article about different kinds of sedative medecines and I should say that I really sorry for people who have to eliminate their stress that way. There are many side-effects described and it happens so that treating one evil, you get another. I've heard that zolpidem produced by teva has the least negative consequences for a human body. Unfortunately, very often it's quite expensive if you buy it in a drugstore but here EDITED BY MODERATOR I've found the medicine at an affordable price. What do you think about it?
What do you do if you don't know how to use Bitcoin? (I have tried MANY TIMES to follow all of the steps to setup a Bitcoin wallet.. and get it to work- it didn't, and had to give up -or go crazy, one or the other.

Is this Pharmacy link from another country? Do you need an RX? You can send me the answers in a conversation if you like.

There is a website called goodrx.com where many.. if not all medications, are much cheaper there.. even if you have insurance often times.

You can go to that website and type in the medication and dosage, and it will give you a top 10 list of prices in the ZIP code that you entered, and when you pick a pharmacy and click on the price, it gives you the insurance coding that you can pull up on your phone and relay to the pharmacy, or just pull it up on your phone and hand your phone to the pharmacy when you go to pick it up.. and they can run the insurance/ discount codes on it then.

It has saved me SO MUCH MONEY and made it able for me to get medications I could not have otherwise- since I have not had drug coverage in several years.
 

JuicyLucy

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What do you do if you don't know how to use Bitcoin? (I have tried MANY TIMES to follow all of the steps to setup a Bitcoin wallet.. and get it to work- it didn't, and had to give up -or go crazy, one or the other.

Is this Pharmacy link from another country? Do you need an RX? You can send me the answers in a conversation if you like.

There is a website called goodrx.com where many.. if not all medications, are much cheaper there.. even if you have insurance often times.

You can go to that website and type in the medication and dosage, and it will give you a top 10 list of prices in the ZIP code that you entered, and when you pick a pharmacy and click on the price, it gives you the insurance coding that you can pull up on your phone and relay to the pharmacy, or just pull it up on your phone and hand your phone to the pharmacy when you go to pick it up.. and they can run the insurance/ discount codes on it then.

It has saved me SO MUCH MONEY and made it able for me to get medications I could not have otherwise- since I have not had drug coverage in several years.
Dez - hopefully you did not follow through with that very shady link asking for bitcoin....
 

MyMagicMist

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Nicotine is a stimulant.
Caffeine is supposed to be as well, it just knocks me out. Yeah, I've tried No-Doze, still knocks me out. In fact once a whole box of No-Doze. I was out with a friend and we got to doing some night fishing and turtle lifting. Rough when the turtle eats the five pound catfish you're hauling up on shore. Makes you want turtle soup.
 

dez

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Caffeine is supposed to be as well, it just knocks me out. Yeah, I've tried No-Doze, still knocks me out. In fact once a whole box of No-Doze. I was out with a friend and we got to doing some night fishing and turtle lifting. Rough when the turtle eats the five pound catfish you're hauling up on shore. Makes you want turtle soup.
Is it possible that you are ADD ADD? BC some ppl with conditions like that will get the opposite reaction from "uppers".. Just a thought, I myself have noticed it happens to me if I'm already tired-I can chug 3 energy drinks in a row.. and pass right out! Lol
 

MyMagicMist

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Is it possible that you are ADD ADD? BC some ppl with conditions like that will get the opposite reaction from "uppers".. Just a thought, I myself have noticed it happens to me if I'm already tired-I can chug 3 energy drinks in a row.. and pass right out! Lol
With me? Ha! I'm not really sure if I would be ADD. Not been told so. When I was a joey in my biological mom, she took tranquilizers in one of her many attempts to lose herself. Someone got her up and walked the dope out of her. I have Kallmann or Kallmann's Syndrome. Parts of what I read on it say roughly sometimes the neural paths don't quite get developed out correct. Of course, got someone telling me that diagnoses might be bunk too. Not sure what part mom played with her drugs at that stage, mm'sure it didn't help.

I was my mom's first kid. Navy docs had told her, she would never have kids, end of discussion. I think that might be in part why they discharged me at age 21. "We can't have him in here, he disproves everything we say/believe." growing up a doc had her put me on Riddlin (sp), "he's hyper" and the school didn't want hyper. Well, she did her research and that doctor had some nasty stuff turn up in his dumpster. *ahem* She also dropped me off the Riddlin. I am highly inte, .. s-m-a-r-t and got a wonderful imagination. ;) I'm not hyper but I don't take shit either, teachers disliked that, I would correct them. when i did it wasn't a smart ass punk kid either, it was a kid that looked it up, researched, ask experts, figured it out.

For me anything is possible. i've even suggested to my wife I might be high functioning autistic. i lock up to drive cars. i can drive a tank or bulldozer, some other different small craft ... a car, as in to drive on the public road? *goes six shades of white* Nope, can't do it. Too much all at once. i need time to do trigonometry, driving doesn't afford that. In other craft though you kind of have all the time you need and folks get out of your way, plus other craft are usually larger inside. :) this is also why i don't go for CDLs, drive truck, trucking is "moving" ... not for me, couldn't do it. although now they have gps self guiding ones, still wouldn't want to risk it.

I'm okay though whatever i happen to be. mom in her love for me told me something most valuable when i was a boy. "Son, you are unique and special, .... just like all the other 7 to 8 billion people on the planet." :) Yeah, that's mom, she's nuttier than squirrel dung. I love her anyway.
 
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dez

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With me? Ha! I'm not really sure if I would be ADD. Not been told so. When I was a joey in my biological mom, she took tranquilizers in one of her many attempts to lose herself. Someone got her up and walked the dope out of her. I have Kallmann or Kallmann's Syndrome. Parts of what I read on it say roughly sometimes the neural paths don't quite get developed out correct. Of course, got someone telling me that diagnoses might be bunk too. Not sure what part mom played with her drugs at that stage, mm'sure it didn't help.

I was my mom's first kid. Navy docs had told her, she would never have kids, end of discussion. I think that might be in part why they discharged me at age 21. "We can't have him in here, he disproves everything we say/believe." growing up a doc had her put me on Riddlin (sp), "he's hyper" and the school didn't want hyper. Well, she did her research and that doctor had some nasty stuff turn up in his dumpster. *ahem* She also dropped me off the Riddlin. I am highly inte, .. s-m-a-r-t and got a wonderful imagination. ;) I'm not hyper but I don't take shit either, teachers disliked that, I would correct them. when i did it wasn't a smart ass punk kid either, it was a kid that looked it up, researched, ask experts, figured it out.

For me anything is possible. i've even suggested to my wife I might be high functioning autistic. i lock up to drive cars. i can drive a tank or bulldozer, some other different small craft ... a car, as in to drive on the public road? *goes six shades of white* Nope, can't do it. Too much all at once. i need time to do trigonometry, driving doesn't afford that. In other craft though you kind of have all the time you need and folks get out of your way, plus other craft are usually larger inside. :) this is also why i don't go for CDLs, drive truck, trucking is "moving" ... not for me, couldn't do it. although now they have gps self guiding ones, still wouldn't want to risk it.

I'm okay though whatever i happen to be. mom in her love for me told me something most valuable when i was a boy. "Son, you are unique and special, .... just like all the other 7 to 8 billion people on the planet." :) Yeah, that's mom, she's nuttier than squirrel dung. I love her anyway.
I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that. Speaking from experience, sometimes things can seem so dark and painful that people just don't feel strong enough to get through a moment, much less a day, and she may have struggled like that and it doesn't mean that she loved you any less, she was probably just overcome with a clinical depression or something , and did not know what else to do.
Since you were put on Ritalin when you were young, there is a chance that you could be ADD or ADHD ( Ritalin is written for those diagnosis), which could be the reason that sedatives work in reverse on you.
I have never been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or put on Ritalin as a child, but when I was tested as an adult.. I tested "likely" for ADD, and "very likely" for ADHD- as they have no true 100% test to verify.
I was not put on Ritalin because I have a heart condition.. and my doctor told me that he had had three young people die while taking Ritalin. . and he was certain that was the cause, and did not want to risk it with me.
My boyfriend was in the service, and spent 13 months in Iraq, 9 years in Army Reserve..and I would like to THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE as well! My prayers will be with you!
 

dez

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Yes that would be cool! There's probably a lot of traffic on here in the middle of the night. In fact, I am on this site all hours of the night. It's not only because of my terrible insomnia, but because my boyfriend works nights- so I try to match my schedule to his, anyway.
I know several other people are insomniac's or night owls that I have met just since I have been on here, which is not that long.
 

MyMagicMist

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Speaking from experience, sometimes things can seem so dark and painful that people just don't feel strong enough to get through a moment, much less a day, and she may have struggled like that and it doesn't mean that she loved you any less, she was probably just overcome with a clinical depression or something , and did not know what else to do.
She dealt with a lot on her plate. For one she is as stubborn as her own father, Army infantryman in the transport pool during WWII. Once he has figured something out and knows he's right, there's no budging him. Sure you might change his view but you'll need to unseat him from out of the clay Earth.

Then she was first married to a sailor, fine man from out of RI with a family tradition of sailors, broiler-men, diesel mechanics, shipwrights. They agreed to "falling out of love" and divorced. Then she got fouled up, met my dad an a-hole jar head (Marine) who refused to grow up, quit chasing anything that laid down in front of him. Well mom come to the final straw when she walked right up on the street knocked on the door of the car he was in with some bimbo. She had no clue where he was, she just followed her gut.

I was two, their best man as well. He then "left" us as she brought me back to VA and I met Grandma & Pap, Uncle "Buddy". Buddy was infantry as well, 'Nam. Him and Pap were not snipers or expert shots by no account save a minor citation for fair marksmanship from infantry. They could shoot, well enough to hit exactly where they aimed 8 to 9 times out of 10, all depending on variables. I've not shot a thing in years, any training for it they instilled has perished away. It was them training me that let me win a turkey shoot at 5 yrs old. *chuckles* That irked my by then truck driving step father off. I had out shot him.

Of course, he didn't want to grow up either. I was the dog that fought for scraps and took the beatings with a smile. Learned to not cry when he beat mom. If I did he beat her worse, and vise versa when he beat me, she stopped crying. Sure I've had the lights on in the brain all the time, but any soldier can tell you; You don't fight a fight that nobody will win, no matter how many friends you have help. i quit playing kind of card games with him. Got beat to win, got beat if I lost and every time called a cheat, liar, and a whole slew of such nastiness it bears no repeating. Then he beat me for not playing. *chuckles*

I was out of boot for about two weeks, official "in fleet" until some papers cleared. There was a few things come along us "out processors" got put up on stand by for during that time. The thresholds were in sight but the planners they planned other ways to do what was needed. Yep, avoid letting the 'rejects' go out with the big dogs despite the rejects possibly out running those dogs. Not proud of being rejected, not ashamed either. I was there and was ready to go, 20 to long chain. Still might if it comes to a pinch, for America, the People, ... not for the federals, bankers or pharisees. Yes, I'd lay it down, no hesitation. I still believe in the correct, just and proper America. Y'all can have this dumpster fire of carpenter ants you call Murica and well, find a hole where it don't shine.

Yes, mom had a lot going on. Then I got guided toward military part of being family, part of I really didn't have much else except spinning yarns, going off to myself and being fine. I'm just a worker with no real dreams for anything else, or if I have dreams I know to not hope too much. Life does that, not that anyone is a victim per say. I've seen that and seen too how it did mom, and yeah she was a bit of a victim at times, as stubborn as she could be.

I used to work graveyard all the time as well. Better crews run as zombies at night. :) Then, a bunch of hooey happened in 2001. Everything got switched backwards. Me getting frustrated at management for not having operating capital and me having a rough shift due to that, tells a super I was frustrated enough that if somebody looked at me wrong, ... Well it ain't considered "blowing off steam" or "venting" anymore, even if you watch and don't use specifics. No, now since 2001 everyone is afraid of their own shadows and even if they know you years, don't matter you been making threats, being some criminal, not a human being that can have a bad day. Yeah, completely backwards.

Terrorists done won. Sad to say more folks killed by lightning strike globally than by terrorist yearly, yet they have done won. They put us all against each other. They step back, let us do ourselves in. And imho that possibly isn't a 'terrorist' objective but 'the bosses' wanted it so it came to be. I could be wrong, aiming too low or off the East wind. That happens, difficult seeing trees for forests sometimes. :)

Well, I need to go help my team. Get more of her clothes folded up for her come in and put up. Still wanting to swab my galley & heads. just a pinch of nothing to do. :) Heard you typing over yon, figured I'd pop in. ;) :) Well run 'er slow. I'm a, ...
 
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dez

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Just a bitcoin app..the one that popped up when I Googled it.
 
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dez

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She dealt with a lot on her plate. For one she is as stubborn as her own father, Army infantryman in the transport pool during WWII. Once he has figured something out and knows he's right, there's no budging him. Sure you might change his view but you'll need to unseat him from out of the clay Earth.

Then she was first married to a sailor, fine man from out of RI with a family tradition of sailors, broiler-men, diesel mechanics, shipwrights. They agreed to "falling out of love" and divorced. Then she got fouled up, met my dad an a-hole jar head (Marine) who refused to grow up, quit chasing anything that laid down in front of him. Well mom come to the final straw when she walked right up on the street knocked on the door of the car he was in with some bimbo. She had no clue where he was, she just followed her gut.

I was two, their best man as well. He then "left" us as she brought me back to VA and I met Grandma & Pap, Uncle "Buddy". Buddy was infantry as well, 'Nam. Him and Pap were not snipers or expert shots by no account save a minor citation for fair marksmanship from infantry. They could shoot, well enough to hit exactly where they aimed 8 to 9 times out of 10, all depending on variables. I've not shot a thing in years, any training for it they instilled has perished away. It was them training me that let me win a turkey shoot at 5 yrs old. *chuckles* That irked my by then truck driving step father off. I had out shot him.

Of course, he didn't want to grow up either. I was the dog that fought for scraps and took the beatings with a smile. Learned to not cry when he beat mom. If I did he beat her worse, and vise versa when he beat me, she stopped crying. Sure I've had the lights on in the brain all the time, but any soldier can tell you; You don't fight a fight that nobody will win, no matter how many friends you have help. i quit playing kind of card games with him. Got beat to win, got beat if I lost and every time called a cheat, liar, and a whole slew of such nastiness it bears no repeating. Then he beat me for not playing. *chuckles*

I was out of boot for about two weeks, official "in fleet" until some papers cleared. There was a few things come along us "out processors" got put up on stand by for during that time. The thresholds were in sight but the planners they planned other ways to do what was needed. Yep, avoid letting the 'rejects' go out with the big dogs despite the rejects possibly out running those dogs. Not proud of being rejected, not ashamed either. I was there and was ready to go, 20 to long chain. Still might if it comes to a pinch, for America, the People, ... not for the federals, bankers or pharisees. Yes, I'd lay it down, no hesitation. I still believe in the correct, just and proper America. Y'all can have this dumpster fire of carpenter ants you call Murica and well, find a hole where it don't shine.

Yes, mom had a lot going on. Then I got guided toward military part of being family, part of I really didn't have much else except spinning yarns, going off to myself and being fine. I'm just a worker with no real dreams for anything else, or if I have dreams I know to not hope too much. Life does that, not that anyone is a victim per say. I've seen that and seen too how it did mom, and yeah she was a bit of a victim at times, as stubborn as she could be.

I used to work graveyard all the time as well. Better crews run as zombies at night. :) Then, a bunch of hooey happened in 2001. Everything got switched backwards. Me getting frustrated at management for not having operating capital and me having a rough shift due to that, tells a super I was frustrated enough that if somebody looked at me wrong, ... Well it ain't considered "blowing off steam" or "venting" anymore, even if you watch and don't use specifics. No, now since 2001 everyone is afraid of their own shadows and even if they know you years, don't matter you been making threats, being some criminal, not a human being that can have a bad day. Yeah, completely backwards.

Terrorists done won. Sad to say more folks killed by lightning strike globally than by terrorist yearly, yet they have done won. They put us all against each other. They step back, let us do ourselves in. And imho that possibly isn't a 'terrorist' objective but 'the bosses' wanted it so it came to be. I could be wrong, aiming too low or off the East wind. That happens, difficult seeing trees for forests sometimes. :)

Well, I need to go help my team. Get more of her clothes folded up for her come in and put up. Still wanting to swab my galley & heads. just a pinch of nothing to do. :) Heard you typing over yon, figured I'd pop in. ;) :) Well run 'er slow. I'm a, ...
If there is 1 thing I understand, it is how stubborn military men can be. My bf of almost 5 years was reserves for 9 years, Iraq & Iran army engineer for 14 months- and is stubborn as he'll. .lost some of his hearing..and is terrified to mention his minor PTSD to a dr, scared he will lose his gun rights, & talks in his sleep like he's giving military orders-and snaps at me all the time.
I'm sorry that you and your mother had to suffer that way. You are a real survive. I appreciate the love you have of your country, and agree about the demo tearing apart our country.
It makes me sick.
 

dez

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Member For 1 Year
She dealt with a lot on her plate. For one she is as stubborn as her own father, Army infantryman in the transport pool during WWII. Once he has figured something out and knows he's right, there's no budging him. Sure you might change his view but you'll need to unseat him from out of the clay Earth.

Then she was first married to a sailor, fine man from out of RI with a family tradition of sailors, broiler-men, diesel mechanics, shipwrights. They agreed to "falling out of love" and divorced. Then she got fouled up, met my dad an a-hole jar head (Marine) who refused to grow up, quit chasing anything that laid down in front of him. Well mom come to the final straw when she walked right up on the street knocked on the door of the car he was in with some bimbo. She had no clue where he was, she just followed her gut.

I was two, their best man as well. He then "left" us as she brought me back to VA and I met Grandma & Pap, Uncle "Buddy". Buddy was infantry as well, 'Nam. Him and Pap were not snipers or expert shots by no account save a minor citation for fair marksmanship from infantry. They could shoot, well enough to hit exactly where they aimed 8 to 9 times out of 10, all depending on variables. I've not shot a thing in years, any training for it they instilled has perished away. It was them training me that let me win a turkey shoot at 5 yrs old. *chuckles* That irked my by then truck driving step father off. I had out shot him.

Of course, he didn't want to grow up either. I was the dog that fought for scraps and took the beatings with a smile. Learned to not cry when he beat mom. If I did he beat her worse, and vise versa when he beat me, she stopped crying. Sure I've had the lights on in the brain all the time, but any soldier can tell you; You don't fight a fight that nobody will win, no matter how many friends you have help. i quit playing kind of card games with him. Got beat to win, got beat if I lost and every time called a cheat, liar, and a whole slew of such nastiness it bears no repeating. Then he beat me for not playing. *chuckles*

I was out of boot for about two weeks, official "in fleet" until some papers cleared. There was a few things come along us "out processors" got put up on stand by for during that time. The thresholds were in sight but the planners they planned other ways to do what was needed. Yep, avoid letting the 'rejects' go out with the big dogs despite the rejects possibly out running those dogs. Not proud of being rejected, not ashamed either. I was there and was ready to go, 20 to long chain. Still might if it comes to a pinch, for America, the People, ... not for the federals, bankers or pharisees. Yes, I'd lay it down, no hesitation. I still believe in the correct, just and proper America. Y'all can have this dumpster fire of carpenter ants you call Murica and well, find a hole where it don't shine.

Yes, mom had a lot going on. Then I got guided toward military part of being family, part of I really didn't have much else except spinning yarns, going off to myself and being fine. I'm just a worker with no real dreams for anything else, or if I have dreams I know to not hope too much. Life does that, not that anyone is a victim per say. I've seen that and seen too how it did mom, and yeah she was a bit of a victim at times, as stubborn as she could be.

I used to work graveyard all the time as well. Better crews run as zombies at night. :) Then, a bunch of hooey happened in 2001. Everything got switched backwards. Me getting frustrated at management for not having operating capital and me having a rough shift due to that, tells a super I was frustrated enough that if somebody looked at me wrong, ... Well it ain't considered "blowing off steam" or "venting" anymore, even if you watch and don't use specifics. No, now since 2001 everyone is afraid of their own shadows and even if they know you years, don't matter you been making threats, being some criminal, not a human being that can have a bad day. Yeah, completely backwards.

Terrorists done won. Sad to say more folks killed by lightning strike globally than by terrorist yearly, yet they have done won. They put us all against each other. They step back, let us do ourselves in. And imho that possibly isn't a 'terrorist' objective but 'the bosses' wanted it so it came to be. I could be wrong, aiming too low or off the East wind. That happens, difficult seeing trees for forests sometimes. :)

Well, I need to go help my team. Get more of her clothes folded up for her come in and put up. Still wanting to swab my galley & heads. just a pinch of nothing to do. :) Heard you typing over yon, figured I'd pop in. ;) :) Well run 'er slow. I'm a, ...
Oh yes- I have owned 3 9mm and used to be a great shot, but quit practicing and lost it..
 

Theboss

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I barely sleep, but it's body chemistry being messed up from working nights. Melatonin helps me fall asleep, but doesn't help with keeping me asleep.
 

dez

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I barely sleep, but it's body chemistry being messed up from working nights. Melatonin helps me fall asleep, but doesn't help with keeping me asleep.
Yes, taking melatonin is actually addictive. It will help you fall asleep in 3 hours you will wake up wide awake and not be able to fall asleep good again until you get used to it and then you won't be able to sleep without it. It's best to find other ways to fall asleep even if it's NyQuil or something.
 

dez

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Member For 1 Year
I barely sleep, but it's body chemistry being messed up from working nights. Melatonin helps me fall asleep, but doesn't help with keeping me asleep.
CBD is a godsend for me, I use the Endoca brand, and their 300mg starters bottle is only $31+ shipping.

It is wonderful absolutely wonderful for anxiety and at higher doses for sleep.

You start with 3 or 4 mg twice a day, and then add a milligram each day until you just feel a little bit relaxed or like you might take a nap and then you know what your regular dose should be.
 

MyMagicMist

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My bf of almost 5 years was reserves for 9 years, Iraq & Iran army engineer for 14 months- and is stubborn as he'll. .lost some of his hearing..and is terrified to mention his minor PTSD to a dr, scared he will lose his gun rights, & talks in his sleep like he's giving military orders-and snaps at me all the time.
Returned from boot, my baby brother thinking it'd be funny as hell to lob a string of crackers under my bottom bunk rack found out otherwise. There was a short corridor off to one side then, a landing atop the ladder (stairs).

He had just went to strike his match, I had him up against the wall in a choke hold about three inches off the floor. It was enough I could have easily literally rung his neck, snapped it, instead I got awake and realized what was happening, dropped him. He told me later that he never wanted to repeat that experience, he saw Hell in my eyes from seeing nothing in them. I had scared him but good.

That morning too I almost decked my mom who went to slide pancakes unto my plate. She was behind me to the side, I stood and drew back, she stepped back a few foot. "I'm sorry didn't mean to startle you, you need to get that edge off sailor. Charlie was as white as bleached out white sheets. Looked like he had seen a ghost and ran off as quick. What did you do?"

I have managed albeit kind of roughly at times to dull the edge just a bit. I'm weighing 300 lbs or a little more and I know that is lack of discipline on my part and in part the testosterone I take every two weeks, it makes me hungry as Hell. I eat but then cannot carry through with the discipline to exercise, lacking motivation. I feel lost in the world. There's no purpose or meaning, I'm left to define those and do okay but that's just it, okay. I survive but only just. Then, the weight adds to the arthritis & pain sets in terribly, so "I don't wanna move" to exercise, it's a vicious circle. I need to break it, ... am working on it but it's a bitch of a climb.

I too worry about the PTSD stripping me of the gun right. I figure it this way though, there's always private sales, and they really cannot legislate that out of the system. I still feel safe around guns. I was brought up correctly, guns are not weapons but tools. It becomes a weapon based upon intentions. For that matter if I intended, I could turn the air anyone breathes into a weapon. They going to legislate air as illegal or unlawful? Good luck with that. And no that's not simply an end run around the Law, it actually rather is the Law. Being crazy does not mean you can not own tools, it simply means you need to be more so responsible with them, or supervised with them.

Stubborn? Military folks? Nah, never. Don't know what wold give that impression. *chuckles* And those who love us, put up with our guff, they're not as stubborn or more so? I recall a night I had remembered an honor watch for a sub that got sunk. No, not a dive but the sub was sunk. There was a crew aboard. When I was in boot our one CC had been sub mariner for near a decade. He made us pull an honor watch for the crew of that sub. Come home and remember this, start to having a drink for mates that'll never taste scotch again. Boy I got ripped and didn't realize it. Got a little mouthy toward the new admiral, the wife. Did not take her long.

"That's it sailor, last call. This is your captain & admiral speaking: finish your drink and march your ass to the rack. Do it now, or you are wrong," she let fly in as near a growl as she could muster. What does the man that's twice her size and full of piss & vinegar do? Finishes his drink in a gulp, stands and staggers a march to the rack without incident. Had the fear of Neptune Rex in him he did. She wasn't bluffing and I just know had I done otherwise in the slightest she would have decked me and let me sleep it off where I dropped.

I know now there's lots of men that say they carry "real men" cards would say they'd have smacked her. I've never been much to being a "real man", card carrying or otherwise. I am a man for sure just not one of these "real men" that seems to think strength comes from abusing it. Those kind of fuckers need put on their ass, hard. "Oh, sorry did you bump into me?" Oops. "Need me to help you up?" *grin* "Damn you fell again. Here, I'll get you up this time, ..." *chuckles* "Ah, learn something then huh? Well keep it in mind next time, because there better not be a next time."

Got our apartment ready for inspection today, yesterday. My wife she has to constantly fuss at me to keep her house clean. *lol* No, she comes in and always wonders if it's the right place. I keep it so clean she gets mad and dirties up the galley on me. I just get mad the next morning and clean it up on her. ;) :p She then goes to work mad that her house is clean again. I'm such a terrible husband, I tell ya.

She's done already on notice. She can have the house for the nick knacks, yarn, crafty projects. I get the barn and out buildings, she gets none of them, just the house. So much yarn in here now, I'm about to don the Fire Marshall hat on her. "Now, lissen 'ere missy, ya gots too much o' this string. It gonna catch ya up in a fire, you be dead, I be sad ... no more o' it, I put my foot down." Then, she'll just go buy tea kettles. *grumbles* She discovered I like them, damn it.

Oh well, I hear Raymond Burr & Jack Webb into it about coffee. Poor Max Gibson cannot get away from typing to get coffee. My cup she a got a hole in the bottom, look no coffee init. What you reckon I oughta do? Well I'm gonna, ...
 
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placemace

Member For 1 Year
Also periodically suffer from insomnia, sleeping pills helps, and better those with a cumulative effect, normalizing sleep in the long term.
 

Wb80

-DIY-demon-
VU Donator
Gold Contributor
Member For 1 Year
VU Patreon
Regularly sleeping. Especially at nite.?. WHAT IS THAT?
 
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dez

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Member For 1 Year
Returned from boot, my baby brother thinking it'd be funny as hell to lob a string of crackers under my bottom bunk rack found out otherwise. There was a short corridor off to one side then, a landing atop the ladder (stairs).

He had just went to strike his match, I had him up against the wall in a choke hold about three inches off the floor. It was enough I could have easily literally rung his neck, snapped it, instead I got awake and realized what was happening, dropped him. He told me later that he never wanted to repeat that experience, he saw Hell in my eyes from seeing nothing in them. I had scared him but good.

That morning too I almost decked my mom who went to slide pancakes unto my plate. She was behind me to the side, I stood and drew back, she stepped back a few foot. "I'm sorry didn't mean to startle you, you need to get that edge off sailor. Charlie was as white as bleached out white sheets. Looked like he had seen a ghost and ran off as quick. What did you do?"

I have managed albeit kind of roughly at times to dull the edge just a bit. I'm weighing 300 lbs or a little more and I know that is lack of discipline on my part and in part the testosterone I take every two weeks, it makes me hungry as Hell. I eat but then cannot carry through with the discipline to exercise, lacking motivation. I feel lost in the world. There's no purpose or meaning, I'm left to define those and do okay but that's just it, okay. I survive but only just. Then, the weight adds to the arthritis & pain sets in terribly, so "I don't wanna move" to exercise, it's a vicious circle. I need to break it, ... am working on it but it's a bitch of a climb.

I too worry about the PTSD stripping me of the gun right. I figure it this way though, there's always private sales, and they really cannot legislate that out of the system. I still feel safe around guns. I was brought up correctly, guns are not weapons but tools. It becomes a weapon based upon intentions. For that matter if I intended, I could turn the air anyone breathes into a weapon. They going to legislate air as illegal or unlawful? Good luck with that. And no that's not simply an end run around the Law, it actually rather is the Law. Being crazy does not mean you can not own tools, it simply means you need to be more so responsible with them, or supervised with them.

Stubborn? Military folks? Nah, never. Don't know what wold give that impression. *chuckles* And those who love us, put up with our guff, they're not as stubborn or more so? I recall a night I had remembered an honor watch for a sub that got sunk. No, not a dive but the sub was sunk. There was a crew aboard. When I was in boot our one CC had been sub mariner for near a decade. He made us pull an honor watch for the crew of that sub. Come home and remember this, start to having a drink for mates that'll never taste scotch again. Boy I got ripped and didn't realize it. Got a little mouthy toward the new admiral, the wife. Did not take her long.

"That's it sailor, last call. This is your captain & admiral speaking: finish your drink and march your ass to the rack. Do it now, or you are wrong," she let fly in as near a growl as she could muster. What does the man that's twice her size and full of piss & vinegar do? Finishes his drink in a gulp, stands and staggers a march to the rack without incident. Had the fear of Neptune Rex in him he did. She wasn't bluffing and I just know had I done otherwise in the slightest she would have decked me and let me sleep it off where I dropped.

I know now there's lots of men that say they carry "real men" cards would say they'd have smacked her. I've never been much to being a "real man", card carrying or otherwise. I am a man for sure just not one of these "real men" that seems to think strength comes from abusing it. Those kind of fuckers need put on their ass, hard. "Oh, sorry did you bump into me?" Oops. "Need me to help you up?" *grin* "Damn you fell again. Here, I'll get you up this time, ..." *chuckles* "Ah, learn something then huh? Well keep it in mind next time, because there better not be a next time."

Got our apartment ready for inspection today, yesterday. My wife she has to constantly fuss at me to keep her house clean. *lol* No, she comes in and always wonders if it's the right place. I keep it so clean she gets mad and dirties up the galley on me. I just get mad the next morning and clean it up on her. ;) :p She then goes to work mad that her house is clean again. I'm such a terrible husband, I tell ya.

She's done already on notice. She can have the house for the nick knacks, yarn, crafty projects. I get the barn and out buildings, she gets none of them, just the house. So much yarn in here now, I'm about to don the Fire Marshall hat on her. "Now, lissen 'ere missy, ya gots too much o' this string. It gonna catch ya up in a fire, you be dead, I be sad ... no more o' it, I put my foot down." Then, she'll just go buy tea kettles. *grumbles* She discovered I like them, damn it.

Oh well, I hear Raymond Burr & Jack Webb into it about coffee. Poor Max Gibson cannot get away from typing to get coffee. My cup she a got a hole in the bottom, look no coffee init. What you reckon I oughta do? Well I'm gonna, ...
I put my foot down last night.. and wrote him a long email telling him that I felt like his secretary.. calling his doctor for him all of the time, and checking his blood sugar because he says he cannot do it himself even though everyone who's diabetic does it themselves, and reminding him to eat and take his medication for diabetes 8 times a day -because he won't set the alarm on an app I downloaded and set up on his phone for him..and told him I had one foot out the door because he is always snapping at me or sounding irritated with me or making me feel like crap like he doesn't care about me at all. He is verbally abusive and tells me I'm lying when I tell him that he is yelling at me. He tells me it is his regular speaking voice and he does have some hearing damage from Iraq and talks loud already but I have been with him 5 years almost and I know the difference between when he is angry and yelling or if he is just getting louder than he means to be in his not mad and doesn't mean to be.
So he is very stubborn and Promises to change and then does not, and it's been very hard on me lately.

It's caused a lot of stress on me, and I've lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks because I haven't been able to eat.

I don't know if I'm going to end up staying or going. So far it's not looking that great. The first few days when I was getting ready to leave the next day for good, he was crying when I told him I was leaving, and after that was acting extremely sweet to me and then brought me flowers for Good Friday, but this niceness stopped before the flowers even wilted.

Speaking of real men, real men are not afraid to show love, real men do not hit women who physically or not built for an even fight, real men know that it is okay to cry, and real man can love God. Only cowards hit women!

His ex-wife hit him in the face with a hard plastic thermos when they were in the middle of a divorce, and then called the police trying to get him arrested- and I know that he did not hit her back.. but he flinches still when I reach for him to hug him or rub his neck, and I know if I hit him he may have a reflex & hit me, so I would never hit him.

I just don't work that way anyway. I'd regular I'd rather talk it out. I don't like to get all upset and I'm not violent, and only threw 1 punching my whole life which was a reflex when my ex-husband.. Danny Maurice Burns in Oregon , slapped me in the face and abused me a few times physically when we were married at the age of nineteen, and I busted his lip during a 1-second blackout because I was so shocked.
I guess it was reflex even though I've never hit anybody else in my life ever.

I don't know if Barry my boyfriend flinches when I reach for him a lot because of a little PTSD, or is it is because his ex-wife hit him.. I have tried to get him to take CBD, but he has never smoked a cigarette or anything in his entire life even, and won't even try it.

I think you could get a lot of relaxation and better sleep, and I have read some reviews from veterans on the website and they say it is better treatment than an entire bag full of medications from their doctor and they showed a picture of about 15 medication bottles that they don't take anymore. They said they wanted all of their veteran friends with PTSD to know about that and try it.. and it REALLY HELPS with pain.. when I rub the drops that go under your tongue onto on my stomach when I am cramping badly.

-I have a bottle from my company that is a starter dose..Are you taking any now? Please send me a private message.. I may be able to help you. Desiree
 

MyMagicMist

Platinum Contributor
Member For 4 Years
ECF Refugee
I put my foot down last night.. Please send me a private message.. I may be able to help you. Desiree
PM sent, nothing said I would not have posted openly. Not sure I mentioned about cbd though. I need to wait a bit to get more. $25 for a 30 ml bottle to me is not a bad cost as I can easily see how it is arguably medicinal, even if discovered later on it is placebo. I have to wait for my stipend fund to refresh and have funding. Then, I can buy more CBD. I do plan to as well. No, I do not think it is placebo at all. I recall a doc what cured cancer with it, he studied its use for about 30 yrs privately.

As to what I say openly or in PM, I'll flirt with nearly anyone. I am not too concerned to be involved with another lady, got my Lady and she's enough woman for me. :) I would not mind getting involved with a lord, or man though. Yes, my Lady knows. This put here, as I said I'll cut up and honestly flirt in good nature with nearly anyone. My flirting though doesn't constitute me actually doing anything. *chuckles* That is unless of course something is mutually worked out and whatever happens, happens. No, I don't flirt with you. At least I don't to the point I consider it flirting.

I grew up & worked round folks from circa 1920 - 1940. They were always slinging out, hon, sweetie, sugah, hun, baby and so on. It was just the common mannerisms of the times & there was never any flirting nor intention beyond being civil and friendly. Lots of folks now could read it as being much more. I know me & my wife found it odd our local radio stations will no longer play, It's Cold Outside during the Christmas/Yule season. It has now been listed as a song promoting date rape. WTF!!??

During the times and their context it was simply a man and woman that we're hedging on having a relationship. It was seen as disgracing for a woman to be seen coming out of a man's place after dark. Gee, not much has changed there, such a double standard. A lady comes out of guy's place after dark she's a slut and whore. Yet if she stays he could be a rapist & her not resisting or leaving seen as consent. Talk about fucked in the head royally. Yet men, pfft, nothing at all said of men. Wow, our modern and progressive society is real lovely, non?

Any given, me and wife could not understand how someone could think the song promoted date rape. Then, we remembered the line where he offers her a drink. Nothing is said more aside from her asking what the drink was. Like I thought and told my wife, he might have offered her warmed cider, hot coca? She might not have had either one. Both were considered luxuries at a point back then. Him offering a drink doesn't imply date rape, nor does her asking what it is in her cup.

This is another aspect I think to terrorists already winning. Everyone is so afraid of their own shadows they'll not trust somebody else to offer light to scare their shadow away. Wake up. Anyone is three times more likely at risk to be struck by lightning than involved in a violent terror incident. Unless you consider that most governments of the world pontificate terror. You're also about twelve times more likely to have a stroke than be engaged in a bad terrorism experience.

So, gee, how do they win? Everyone now scared little wimps? Ah, that's right I'm afraid of him offering me a drink. I might get called a gigolo for staying over to enjoy some chess with him since there is a blizzard outside. Even if me and him do end up in bed and making love, what of it? Jealous you weren't there as well? I speak generally here honey. This is me rambling with that lovely rhetoric stuff. :)

I see something in society that I'm not sure is right, seen it quite a while. Took me a bit but now I'm saying something. I used to crash with a man friend on his mattress. We literally both crashed and slept like rocks. He was a friend but nothing more. Loved him as a friend. I woke a few mornings with him having his arm slung over my chest, my head. We get back up, go find more work the next day. We worked all day, played all night, as in fishing, shooting bows, trading comics, harassing other friends. Get back to his bedroom about 2 am, crash, wake up at 8 am, go again. Not sure what happened to his go cart after we ran it into a hill. Hm.

My point is, you're reading and thinking, "so what?" Exactly. So what that I had a friend who felt safe enough around me to share his bed, even knowing I'm bisexual? So what if me and him had ever chosen to engage with one another beyond being friends? Is it anybodies business except ours? Does it matter? Ultimately, I think not. We never did go beyond friends. He offered me many drinks too, cold outside or hot outside, he offered drinks, Guess he was wanting to date rape me, huh?

And it matters the same with women too. But we still got this damnable double standard. It really needs to go un-fuck itself. If a person is rape, well yes then I would expect to hear about them being engaged with someone in sex. Otherwise, why mention Sally Smith over there coming out of Jim Jone's place at 10:30 last night? You jealous? I can only see it as insecurity of those doing the whispering, see it as them being jealous. To me love doesn't allow jealousy, jealousy tries coming in but love kicks it right back out.

I do have to fake jealousy though. My lovers prefer if I at least seem jealous at times. Not sure I have ever felt jealous. Sure, I might want to get the new RD D2 robot @f1r3b1rd got last week. But that's not being jealous, that's just wanting something neat I saw. Lots of times though I talk myself out of the "neat" stuff. I don't covet, if I do want something I'll earn it or ask for access. The universe does supply everything after all.

Bah, I ramble too much. Need coffee.
 

MyMagicMist

Platinum Contributor
Member For 4 Years
ECF Refugee
Aw, dag nab it. Now, I do want an R2 unit. Reckon I'll trade a circuit shook C6 unit. It has been spouting off random gorram qua dong about how the Federation needs more monotheist religions. Like I need to hear such nonsense when I'm busy converting plasma to current for my Star Gate.

Plasma used as current for a Star Gate, allows the gate to also let you travel in time. At least that's the working theory. So far, I can't catch myself from killing that one evil dude during the forties. I keep missing myself by at least a year. Of course, that might just be because that me is number 42, the most sneakiest me clone ever that everyone calls Nobody. He's always doing stuff.

Wish I remembered why I cloned me in the first place. Oh, yeah I member I think, something about time zones and gravity sinks.
 

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