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Am I going crazy?

Discussion in 'Non-Vaping Related' started by creeperfan5236, Jun 27, 2016.

  1. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Before you immediately answer yes. Let me explain. Yesterday my family had a evening mass at a church for my brother. As a kid I've never gone to church. But something made me shut my eyes and relax. Once I got the energy to open my eyes, my vision was outta whack for a second or two. Shortly after,the priest gave me a randomly selected necklace with a cross on it. Here's the thing. It was a white necklace. White is a color that's "pure" not good, not bad. So the way I'm taking this, my sins are gone. I'm "pure" if that makes sense. Now today. I'm at work bringing carts back to the store. Every and I mean every time I seen a stray cart it be with another. My brother had a thing with the number two. So every time I'd see stray carts there'd be two of them. But that's still not it. on my last round of carts, I go to walk away and my chain that has a picture of my brother on it somehow got caught and the chain broke. At that moment I don't know how to react. I pick up the dog tag and the chain and put it in my pocket and went on with my day. It sucks since tomorrow the 28th will be a year since he passed.
     
  2. AndriaD

    AndriaD If you don't like my opinions, see above. VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years ECF Refugee

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    You might in fact be going -- or already -- crazy, if you see meaning in a lot of random events. But by all means, believe whatever makes you happy. This is 'Murica after all. ;)

    Andria
     
  3. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Me personally, I believe in the afterlife. Like if you die you come back as something else. That sort of concept. Even though the two carts I cannot explain lol.
     
  4. JuicyLucy

    JuicyLucy My name is Lucy and I am a squonkaholic Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years VU Challenge Team ECF Refugee

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    This. It is #2
     
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  5. freemind

    freemind Gold Contributor Member For 3 Years

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    Look, I'll be straight.

    If you feel compelled to seek answers about higher power and afterlife, do so. I have my answers and beliefs. Each of us need to seek answers for ourselves.

    However, do not construe random events as "signs".
     
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  6. Zamazam

    Zamazam Evil Vulcan's do it with Logic VU Donator Platinum Contributor Member For 3 Years

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    Situational awareness. It takes many forms, but understanding the whole meaning can take a life time. You understand enough to question, now let your inquisitive nature take your further. Look, question, understand, look, question. It's all up to you.
     
  7. Huckleberried

    Huckleberried Senior Moderator Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    I'm really sorry for your loss. It's never easy, it's life changing and it makes most of us have questions. This being an "anniversary" (horrible word) of that time, you're bound to reminisce. Believe what makes you feel best. I have no explanations for anything beyond, or even the present for that matter. I think about those that I've lost that had major impacts on my life and I still have a million questions that will not be answered. Believing in something is all I got, so I hold on to hope most of the time.

    Other times, I just want to scream. Today is like that.
     
  8. always9988

    always9988 Platinum Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    I think it's wonderful that you have something to help you get through what will be a really hard anniversary. If you think they are signs from your brother, don't worry about what other people think. It's not crazy at all to hold on to something that gives you a little bit of hope in this crazy world. Sending hugs
     
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  9. always9988

    always9988 Platinum Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    And for the naysayers, god forbid you let someone have something that makes them feel better. Whether you personally believe in things like that or not, it wouldn't kill you to not comment. Not everyone needs to be brought down because you feel like being an asshole.

    My 2cents, controversial as usual. Always out, peace :vino:
     
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  10. f1r3b1rd

    f1r3b1rd Rolling Thunder Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 3 Years VU Challenge Team

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    @creeperfan5236
    signs are what they are, signs. I do happen to believe in the world beyond our own. I was born and raised in a strict catholic family, and still hold those beliefs. Like you, I went through a phase, where I was not living those beliefs , and avoided any church, for fear that I would be stricken a leper if I walked in.
    HOWEVER, 6 years ago, I had an experience that changed that belief and reaffirmed my faith I'm not a sidewalk preacher, nor do I talk about those thing uninvited, However, any sign that you see to reaffirm your faith in the person or the memory is a wonderful gift, and a gift to be treasured. Whenever I see trees or branches that make a "T" I know its my grandfather saying hello.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
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  11. Huckleberried

    Huckleberried Senior Moderator Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    Butterflies - Mom
    Hummingbirds - Step Mom
    Smell of Cigar smoke where there is none - Dad.
     
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  12. Tuluum

    Tuluum New Member

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    I'm not sure that truly "crazy" people ever really have the wherewithal to ask the question!

    The more I have experienced in life, the more convinced I am that this place we reside is far wilder than we can literally imagine.

    At the very least, these things came into your perception at a time when they could help. Taking advantage of that to heal a bit is about as human as it gets, imo. Though, I think its just as important is to avoid using it to keep the wounds open.

    Using it to remember the past with fondness, while being thankful for what we have in the present, can help us make sure we continue to appreciate loved ones and life in the future.
     
  13. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Thanks Huck, I appreciate it. I wanted to scream today. But I held it in.
    Me being cocky as usual I was going to call out @freemind for him basically saying that wasn't signs of him. He could've meant it another way don't get me wrong, but my head isn't on straight right now. But thank you @always9988 for getting my back there.
     
  14. always9988

    always9988 Platinum Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    I think you might have put the wrong user darlin, probably meant free mind
     
  15. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Sorry for double post.
    When we were at his grave, after we let the balloons go, I smelled ****. Nobody was smoking it. So I knew he was present. It's kinda funny, I type this now and it's the 28th. I just smelled ****.
     
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  16. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    WHOOPS.. my bad
     
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  17. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Wow. We can't say the name of a drug? What if I said I pulled a big weed from out of the ground? That will be censored? Whoever edited that I'd like to have a nice talk with.
     
  18. f1r3b1rd

    f1r3b1rd Rolling Thunder Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 3 Years VU Challenge Team

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    I edited it.. I sent you a PM ... please review our forum rules...
    http://vapingunderground.com/threads/rules-of-the-forum.255/
     
  19. creeperfan5236

    creeperfan5236 Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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  20. Whiskey

    Whiskey Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    I get that too, a cardinal for years has followed us, even when we moved almost 2 hours away, we think it's my brother in law's spirit , he used to love cardinals. We take comfort in believing he's saying hello to us from time to time<3
     
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  21. gingerbread

    gingerbread Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Hello. I hope today is getting a little better for you in a positive way. Many people have said what l would have said. If you believe that what happened to you are signs from your brother then they are. If this gives you comfort and an explainatuon, then this is a good thing. Personally l do believe in this. It just their way of letting us know that they are OK and watching over us.
    Take care<3
     
  22. freemind

    freemind Gold Contributor Member For 3 Years

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    No, I meant it just like it sounded.

    I don't know what you believe, and I know what I believe.

    I do not believe in "ghosts" or good spirits that walk the earth. I do believe however, our minds are powerful enough to make something out of imagination, and make it "real" to us.
     
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  23. robot zombie

    robot zombie Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    I personally am not religious. That's just not how I see fit to make sense of things. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no better or worse off for it. For me, the things I don't know keep me going. I'm content with the fact that there are things I don't understand and that I may live another day and perhaps get a little bit closer... ...that I can still wake up tomorrow and see things differently. I like to question things, especially my own experiences.

    Our senses and consciousness are so very fragile and fallible. It's a source of never-ending fascination for me. In my mind, the idea of a god or some metaphysical force is in some ways less amazing compared to the idea that life and the range of experiences it encompasses are somehow nothing more than the laws of nature proceeding to their natural conclusions. I like the idea of it all just being this never-ending rabbit hole of interacting forces. It leaves you with more to learn, experience, and interpret.

    However, I have experienced some deep losses in my life. I have mourned the loss of several family members. By far the most difficult has been the loss of a dear friend. He was truly like a brother to me. Our families are essentially as one and remain very close to this day. I have spent years trying to make sense of it... ...just trying to find where it sits in my understanding of things. Things are better now - life is good, but I often still feel as though something is missing.

    I occasionally find myself making strange connections, much as you do... ...things that to an outside observer would seem unrelated and perhaps a little crazy. To me, they're absolutely crazy and not in line with how I make sense of things. But for me, there's no conflict... ...no cognitive dissonance behind it. I know that it shouldn't be. I know that it's all in my head, but I don't mind.

    I could analyze and tear these experiences apart. It's in my nature to do that. But I don't. I instead choose to take them for what they are to me and cherish the feeling. I keep them to myself. Those are mine to hold and I hold them dearly. To me, they're simply little reminders of what once was. They don't have to hold meaning for anyone but me.

    Even though these people are gone, they live on as little pieces of my internalized self. It's nice to have those reminders. They bring me comfort. It can even be empowering. They live on in the back of my mind and in the corner of my eye. I carry pieces of them with me everywhere I go, so they're never too far away. That's "enough" for me.

    So no, I don't think you're going crazy. It's a natural part of grieving and coping. Use these experiences as tools to progress and overcome. Just press on and take things as they come. See where it takes you...
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
  24. Huckleberried

    Huckleberried Senior Moderator Staff Member Senior Moderator VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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  25. NGAHaze

    NGAHaze Gold Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    For a Robot Zombie, you articulate human emotions quite well ... :cheers:
     
  26. robot zombie

    robot zombie Silver Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Bahaha, it's tongue in cheek. Sort of a way around the fact that I have trouble picking usernames that I feel adequately reflect who I am and what I'm about. I leave that up to other people to decide.
     
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  27. Just Me

    Just Me Platinum Contributor Member For 3 Years

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    @creeperfan5236 I go threw this all the time I lost my son 1 yr ago June 6th. We also let balloons go but with notes attached to see where they made it to, we write about CF on these notes to create awareness its always nice to get that email letting us know where the balloons have went. One made it from Chicago to Michigan!!! On his 1 year hubby and I decided to get on the motorcycle and drive from Chicago to the UP (the long way along the lakes my son always wanted to travel) We took his ashes and spread them out here and there, the whole trip i saw signs he was with us like the letter M in the clouds (his name was Micheal) Or a single white feather laying on the ground when there wasn't any other ones anywhere. I do honestly believe that if we just open our eyes we will see they are still with us in spirit trying to help guide us or ease our pains. If I didn't have this belief I dont think i would have made it through. My thoughts and prayers are with you losing a family member or close friend is dificult to say the least and I know it doesn't get any easier we just get stronger and those signs and beliefs are what keeps us moving forward.
     
  28. marco67

    marco67 Bronze Contributor Member For 1 Year

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    There are no random signs, they are part of a bigger picture. One we are not permitted to see..
     
  29. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    From my experience with a mentally ill SIL seeing meaning in random things is not a good thing.
    If you want to seek out spirituality then by all means do so.
     
  30. Azriel Mysterious

    Azriel Mysterious Silver Contributor

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    Ok, here's my take.

    I think that reminders of your own mortality are leading you to search for meaning in random events, even if there is nothing there, just sheer coincidence.

    I do not believe in a higher power, I am an Atheist.

    I don't think you are crazy per se, but I do think you are searching for meaning in order to cope with your loss and the reality of your own mortality.

    Everything eventually dies, looking for meaning or a higher power is just a coping mechanism to deal with a fear of death.

    In the end, you only get one shot at this thing called life, make it a good one. Appreciate all the good and try to leave the world a better place than when you came into it. Even helping one person is a wonderful thing.
     
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  31. Artemis

    Artemis Gold Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    Your not going crazy. Sometimes, after a death of loved one our minds, heart and soul will tend to seek out comfort.ยท One tends to see aberrations everywhere that no one else can see. It does take time but whatever a person finds comfort is what should exist for that person.

    I do hope you can find comfort.
     
  32. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    maybe one we are not YET capable of seeing.
     
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  33. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    Go find a clairvoyant or a trance medium and have them give you some communication on what they see happening with you. You are obviously aware of your brother's energy hanging around you,and that he hasn't taken his next step until he can give you some communication he feels is vital.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2016
  34. marco67

    marco67 Bronze Contributor Member For 1 Year

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    Good point, you give me pause for thought..
     
  35. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    And perhaps never capable of seeing. So why worry about it?
     
  36. marco67

    marco67 Bronze Contributor Member For 1 Year

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    Man doesn't live by Vape alone..
     
  37. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Worrying about what everything means is no way to live.
     
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  38. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    that's your experince of life...it is not everyones experince of life....as Jesus said ....let those who have eyes see and ears hear....
     
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  39. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    exactlly there's also.

     
  40. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Yes hear the false prophets for what they are, profits.

    Jesus NEVER preached fear and hatred.

    .
     
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  41. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    what are you talking about...how did you plumb hate out of that quote?
     
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  42. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    I think Jesus was talking about people that can see and hear spirit...
     
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  43. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    Maybe so but maybe it meant more than you first thought?

    In any case any one who claims to be a Christian and preaches fear and hared is NOT a Christian.
     
  44. marco67

    marco67 Bronze Contributor Member For 1 Year

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    I didn't mention Worry. Those that think of nothing are fools or poorly educated..
     
  45. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    I've been a two death beds.....and both times the hospice nurse asked me what I thought of the experince....I told them that death to me had an almost identical energy vibration as the births that I had been at.....as it was both the nurses had also worked extensively in delivery wards and they both told me, that they also felt that the experince of both birth and death were almost identical....I know it is wierd to say and I can't fully articulate it, but though I miss the people who died, at their deaths I felt privledged and honored to be able to witness their next spiritual step.it was like watching a comet.fucking intense.

    I have to admit I was quite surprised to have those experinces I always imagined that when faced with death I would find it frightening and demoralizing,but I found the oppisite was true.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
  46. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    or just have banal minds.
     
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  47. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    And those that think they have figured out what some random thing means are often wrong.
    Things that matter I figure out, things that don't I just do not concern myself with.
    For instance why a number would keep popping up is nothing to me.
    Why my roof is leaking... Well I would figure that out and fix it.

    OCD I am not.
    Superstitious I am not.
    Into mysticism I am not.
    A follower of charismatics I am not.

    Very intelligent, I am.
    An independent thinker, I am.

    Made it thru over 62 years as I am, think I will stick with what I know.

    And LOL Banal I am NOT. That was funny.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
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  48. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    well then your talent is with leaky roofs other peoples talent may have a more spiritual bent.I always say stick with what you know.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
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  49. The Cromwell

    The Cromwell The Frugal Vapist VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years

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    yeah my 7 times involuntarily committed to a mental hospital SIL Sees symbolism and looks for meaning in everything.
    Heck she could not name a cat because every name she tried meant something negative to her.
    Me I just name em.
    Ghosts and such I have no belief in. Never seen one.
    After life? No proof that it exists.
    Belief in beings better than humans? I sure hope so but no proof yet.
    Well maybe dogs ;)

    Beware the soothsayers.
     
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  50. pulsevape

    pulsevape Diamond Contributor Member For 4 Years

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    yeah...well that was a cool story...
     

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