MoocH 1
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We all have life rules but we never talk them out and we end up mad at one another. So here are some of my rules. Hopefully you add to it and we can be more peaceful:
If you've looked at me for longer than five seconds we're either building communication or sexual friction.
4) No Answering calls during Sex
But we really need to determine who should be mad
you because someone called during sex?
the girl you're sleeping with because you answered?
Or your girlfriend because you're gonna be late to dinner again?
5) If my shopping cart is full and you have one item- you can only pass if I like what you're buying
If it's a tabloid, not only are you not passing, it'll be 30 minutes of me trying to find the right debt card.
And guess what, asshole, I left it in the car.
Besides, you don't need a tabloid. Here's today's news:
Now give me five dollars and stand your ass in line.
6) If You're in line ahead of me at Starbucks, you must only order coffee:
You don't come to the only place selling legal speed and order muffins.
I'm a coffee shop person. I'm here to get shakier than Ray Rice's wife and act like I write for a living.
If your drink requires two pumps of anything - then it's back of the line you go.
If it requires soy we make you wear a scarlet letter and stand on the patio.
Be cleanly I always say.
Besides, I need time to readjust the camera..
stupid auto focus.
3) Staring is restricted to 4 seconds
3) Staring is restricted to 4 seconds
What is with staring people? They don't wave...or nod; they just pull up next to you and go soul searching.
Here's the deal:
*Two second stare and you are required to wave
* Three seconds and no wave is automatic restraining order
*Five second wave and it should be totally acceptable for me to charge you while I fondle myself.
*Two second stare and you are required to wave
* Three seconds and no wave is automatic restraining order
*Five second wave and it should be totally acceptable for me to charge you while I fondle myself.
If you've looked at me for longer than five seconds we're either building communication or sexual friction.
4) No Answering calls during Sex
But we really need to determine who should be mad
you because someone called during sex?
the girl you're sleeping with because you answered?
Or your girlfriend because you're gonna be late to dinner again?
5) If my shopping cart is full and you have one item- you can only pass if I like what you're buying
If it's a tabloid, not only are you not passing, it'll be 30 minutes of me trying to find the right debt card.
And guess what, asshole, I left it in the car.
Besides, you don't need a tabloid. Here's today's news:
Kim's ass is fat...
...Kim's husband is an ass...
...and one of the "Real House Wives" got drunk at a party.
...Kim's husband is an ass...
...and one of the "Real House Wives" got drunk at a party.
Now give me five dollars and stand your ass in line.
6) If You're in line ahead of me at Starbucks, you must only order coffee:
You don't come to the only place selling legal speed and order muffins.
I'm a coffee shop person. I'm here to get shakier than Ray Rice's wife and act like I write for a living.
If your drink requires two pumps of anything - then it's back of the line you go.
If it requires soy we make you wear a scarlet letter and stand on the patio.