i need an advice. Hel needed ASAP

[Tempro]

Hello guys! I have been vaping secretly for about 2 months. Today when i way staying at my gf house my dad found my vape. The rhing is that they never knew i was smoking or i started vaping. My dad was really pissed according to my sister who tried to defend me when i was away. I no longer vape liquid with nicotine. Tomorrow he will talk to me but i am scarred that he will be pissed. I dont want to stop vaping because it kept me off of cigarettes and i still enjoy it. How can i talk to him i dont want him to look at me like i am a filthy smoker/vaper. Help pls i need an advice.

 

[JuicyLucy]

Need more info - how old are you and are you 100% economically dependent on your parents?

 

[Tempro]

Need more info - how old are you and are you 100% economically dependent on your parents?

I am 18 and yes i am dependent on them since i am still a student.

 

[Rabbit Slayer]

Grow up then grow a pair and handle it like an adult

 

[Tempro]

Grow up then grow a pair and handle it like an adult

Easier to said than done

 

[JuicyLucy]

Well, first make sure your parents know you are not using it for you-know-what

 

[Rabbit Slayer]

Easier to said than done

Not really, show him your ID stating you are in fact above the legal age.

Now if he doesn't want you vaping in his house, that is easy too, don't vape in his house.

He doesn't want to pay for your habit, another easy solution. Get a job that will cover your ejuice needs

I'm really not seeing any hard part to this.

 

[JuicyLucy]

Not really, show him your ID stating you are in fact above the legal age.

Now if he doesn't want you vaping in his house, that is easy too, don't vape in his house.

He doesn't want to pay for your habit, another easy solution. Get a job that will cover your ejuice needs

I'm really not seeing any hard part to this.

Very good advice here

 

[Neunerball]

Not really, show him your ID stating you are in fact above the legal age.

Now if he doesn't want you vaping in his house, that is easy too, don't vape in his house.

He doesn't want to pay for your habit, another easy solution. Get a job that will cover your ejuice needs

I'm really not seeing any hard part to this.

Ditto!

In addition, when he's pissed, ask him a question, e.g. "would you prefer I'd smoke cigarettes?". This should bring him to a state of mind, where you can actually talk. Of course, he'll answer your question with "Hell, no!" Tell him that vaping got you off the cigarettes, and that you don't have any nicotine in your eJuice.

 

[JuicyLucy]

Ditto!

In addition, when he's pissed, ask him a question, e.g. "would you prefer I'd smoke cigarettes?". This should bring him to a state of mind, where you can actually talk. Of course, he'll answer your question with "Hell, no!" Tell him that vaping got you off the cigarettes, and that you don't have any nicotine in your eJuice.

And say it in a respectful way so you don't start arguing with him. It is his house, his rules.

 

[Neunerball]

And say it in a respectful way so you don't start arguing with him. It is his house, his rules.

Agreed!
BTW, asking a question (respectfully, and calm) is the way to bring any person into the state of mind, in order to have a successful communication. The brain will have to digest the information of the question and give an according reply. When you notice that the person is beginning to act up again, ask another question, which will bring the state of mind back to the proper level.

 

[Tempro]

Well, first make sure your parents know you are not using it for you-know-what

What do you mean by you know what?

 

[Neunerball]

What do you mean by you know what?

Anything other than vaping eJuice.

 

[Tempro]

Not really, show him your ID stating you are in fact above the legal age.

Now if he doesn't want you vaping in his house, that is easy too, don't vape in his house.

He doesn't want to pay for your habit, another easy solution. Get a job that will cover your ejuice needs

I'm really not seeing any hard part to this.

And i cover the money that i spend on e juice or an equiptment. I pretty much diy everything. My friends buy liquid from me. So i got that covered.But still i always had a good relationshio with my parents a really good one. I dont want them to feel that i let them down or something like that.

 

[Tempro]

Anything other than vaping eJuice.

Oh i see .

 

[Neunerball]

Not really, show him your ID stating you are in fact above the legal age.

Now if he doesn't want you vaping in his house, that is easy too, don't vape in his house.

He doesn't want to pay for your habit, another easy solution. Get a job that will cover your ejuice needs

I'm really not seeing any hard part to this.

I have to add, that showing the ID, and stating the fact of being above legal age, might actually not what you want to do! It would bring his state of mind to the level, where you don't want it to be! If you must use age as an argument, put it in a question, like "am I not of legal age?", or something like that.

 

[Tempro]

So i have to talk to him tomorrow. How should i do it?

 

[Neunerball]

So i have to talk to him tomorrow. How should i do it?

Respectfully and calmly. Don't bring yourself into the state of mind, where you won't be able to communicate.

Real roughly explanation of the state of mind! There are three levels, Parent, Adult, Child. You want to be in the Adult level at all times. For example:
Parent level
Commanding. "Don't you talk to me like that!"
Child level
Defiant. "You can't tell me what to do!" (Crossing your arms in front of your chest, stomping your foot). Another example, the alarm rings in the morning, and you just slap the snooze button. (This could be the Parent level as well though.)
Adult level
Analytical. Taking input, compute the input, giving output. To get back to the alarm ringing in the morning. Looking at the clock, in order to see what time it is, making the decision, that you can snooze a bit longer, pressing the snooze button.

 

[JuicyLucy]

Neunerball is rocking the goods today.

 

[Tempro]

Respectfully and calmly. Don't bring yourself into the state of mind, where you won't be able to communicate.

Real roughly explanation of the state of mind! There are three levels, Parent, Adult, Child. You want to be in the Adult level at all times. For example:
Parent level
Commanding. "Don't you talk to me like that!"
Child level
Defiant. "You can't tell me what to do!" (Crossing your arms in front of your chest, stomping your foot). Another example, the alarm rings in the morning, and you just slap the snooze button. (This could be the Parent level as well though.)
Adult level
Analytical. Taking input, compute the input, giving output. To get back to the alarm ringing in the morning. Looking at the clock, in order to see what time it is, making the decision, that you can snooze a bit longer, pressing the snooze button.

Thanks for the advice i hope it will go well.

 

[JuicyLucy]

Good luck Kid

 

[Neunerball]

Neunerball is rocking the goods today.

I learned that in a class, when I was working for Siemens in Germany, as a field engineer, fixing PCs. In order to be able to properly communicate with a client, you always ask a question, in order to bring the client to the Adult level. Just think of it, what is the first thing the person is saying at a customer service desk? "...How may I assist you?..." Customer:"This god damn machine doesn't work!" (Parent/Child level) Customer service:"Has the machine worked at all?" Customer:"No, I plugged it into the power outlet, pushed the button, but nothing happened." (Adult level)

 

[Whiskey]

I hope it goes well too Tempro, head up & Good luck

 

[Tempro]

I hope it goes well too Tempro, head up & Good luck

Thanks

 

[Neunerball]

Thanks for the advice i hope it will go well.

I think, you'll do just fine!
Prepare for your father's arguments, like "it is not healthy", "it produces Formaldehyde", "the battery can explode", "nicotine is addictive" (you already have the answer to that, as well as the next one), "why vape at all" ("because it keeps me from smoking cigarettes again").

That's the other thing besides respectfully and calmly. Be honest!

 

[Rabbit Slayer]

By hiding the fact that you vaped and did it in secret, you already started out on the wrong foot. By doing that you showed that you are either ashamed of vaping or thought you were doing something wrong.

Him being mad at you is a response to the lie of omission. By doing that you started the argument and should start out by apologizing for that and work from there.

 

[Neunerball]

@Tempro, if I may ask, what city do you live in Hungary? I spent several summers in Székesfehérvár, Komárom, and visited Budapest.

 

[Tempro]

@Tempro, if I may ask, what city do you live in Hungary? I spent several summers in Székesfehérvár, Komárom, and visited Budapest.

Well i live in Miskolc.

 

[Neunerball]

Well i live in Miskolc.

I looked it up online. I saw your city has quite a history, with some nice looking old buildings. I also saw you have a pretty good soccer club (DVTK). My favorite soccer club is (as you can tell by my avatar) is the German club FC Bayern München.

 

[Tempro]

Wellbi had the 'talk' with my dad. It was very chill he handled it very calmly. He was fine with that but he asked me why do i do it anyways its jus a waste of money xd

 

[Neunerball]

Wellbi had the 'talk' with my dad. It was very chill he handled it very calmly. He was fine with that but he asked me why do i do it anyways its jus a waste of money xd

Glad to hear, it went well for you.

 

[romenov]

Just let him know you're serious on vaping, not just because it's cool, it helped you quit smoking and now you have smoke-free and nicotine-free, vaping is just a little hobbit, and you didn't and will not invest much money on this. hope this help.