@Bean8379
Look dude, cool your jets and read... I won't explain anything, I won't elaborate other than on this post,
I can count on one hand the people here on this site that know my story, and those people know Because, I know that they won't speak for me.
5 years ago something happened that made me go from living a comfortable, well substantiated life, to being dirt poor and physically mangled. I had to figure out not only what I was going to do for a place to live but how I was ever gong to bet a job again, since I could no physically perform my old job.
I was still smoking, I went back to school, and spent 4 years poor as dirt and in school. I would say I was married but my wife left me because of the injury I received,
5 years later, and I'm well on my way to building my life back, but it took 5 years of feeling like I have to explain myself and sometimes tjat alone was stressful, thankfully for me I had enough really important things to stress over.
The point is, you have to decide what is important, you have to do what is beast for your family first, them you. and you owe no one explanation other than your family.
But some advise, as a person whose been there and done that, the attitude makes people that want to help, not want to help. Everyone has been through their fair shit in life, some more than others, but talking to and treating strangers like crap does not help you. You cam judge a man best by what he does to people who can't do anything for him.
Please don't take what I said as a slight, take it as a little advice.