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The Light at the End of the Tunnel
- Thread starter ghost62
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BAREFOOTJUNKER
Member For 5 Years
I'm Clean & Sober, and in the program. Was in 29 years ago, but just recently came back in Oct. Waking up in jail with no clue is pretty good motivation to powerlessness.
Welcome! I'm glad ya found us.
My fall term (a heavy one) ended yesterday. Supposed to be off right away to NYC and points east for family/holidays. But I need need need some recovery time. So I think I've decided (gulp) to push the trip to after the holidays, and create a nice block of demand-reduced time. Re recovery, a lot of home group meetings and fellowship in the cards and perhaps a bit more presence here. I'm really feeling the season.
Sounds like one heck of a plan!
Absolutely will do. Our grandson suffered a traumatic brain injury Aug of 2013 and they said he wasn't going to survive- had to be life flighted to Nationwide Childrens Hospital. They had to do emergency surgery and said he probably wouldn't make it through surgery.
He did.
Then they said he wouldn't last 24 hours.
He did.
Then they said he was so severely brain damaged that he would never regain consciousness.
He did.
Everything they said he would never do, he has.
He has recovered completely and is testing much higher than other kids in his age group in almost every category.
All because of prayer.
He was in the hospital for over two months and we had a prayer chain praying for Him round the clock.
Even the doctors say his recovery is a miracle.
Hang in there, have faith and trust in God's Will.
BAREFOOTJUNKER
Member For 5 Years
Today if officially 2 months clean and sober, definitely feel better then I have in many years. Tonight have the company Christmas dinner which has me a bit worried though I have an out planned so all will be good.
Congratulations! Every day is a miracle.
Having a plan for tonight is important- good job.
Watch your thoughts, as well, ok? Thoughts become actions and if you find yourself toying with certain ideas, change that train of thought quick.
Addiction is very cunning and clever. It will see opportunity tonight and will do whatever it can to convince you that just once is ok. .
It might create conflict so you want to use as an escape.
You might have such a good time that you think you have a handle on this thing and can control it.
Nope. Addiction knows us better than we know ourselves.
Have fun, stay vigilant, enjoy yourself and you'll do great.
Hi Ghost62. I've been looking over this thread and have noticed that you continually post the same meditations over, and over, and over. I get addiction and the need to go day by day, I am a pain pill addict (Narcotic) in recovery and always will be.
You've got the point across regarding the meditations. Recovery is not a religion to be proselytized, it is a personal journey. Helping out and letting people know you are there for them is a good thing, repeatedly posting the same links over and over looks like a compulsion. Take what I have written however you like. Think of the other people who come here to read the thread and see repeated posts on meditations. It looks like spam to someone not familiar with the thread Ghost62. Spam threads get ignored.
You've got the point across regarding the meditations. Recovery is not a religion to be proselytized, it is a personal journey. Helping out and letting people know you are there for them is a good thing, repeatedly posting the same links over and over looks like a compulsion. Take what I have written however you like. Think of the other people who come here to read the thread and see repeated posts on meditations. It looks like spam to someone not familiar with the thread Ghost62. Spam threads get ignored.
I for one like the fact that he posts them everyday. just my opinion.
They're not the same daily. They're daily readings that change daily. Like the ones in the many books that I own, lol.
Zam, that was my thing, too. Well, the big one, at least, lol.
@BAREFOOTJUNKER, congrats on your 60 days, man! I always called my sponsor before and after events, especially in early recovery. Glad you're here!
Zam, that was my thing, too. Well, the big one, at least, lol.
@BAREFOOTJUNKER, congrats on your 60 days, man! I always called my sponsor before and after events, especially in early recovery. Glad you're here!
That's awesome adk! Congratulations to you, too.
I'm certainly glad you stopped by- thanks!
True, I do post the same links every day but the content that is on the pages changes every day.
I do that for a couple reasons... 1. It helps me make sure I read them daily... 2. It keeps the thread easy to find.
If you scan back through the thread, you'll see that sometimes a week goes by without any posts, except mine.
It could easily get buried behind dozens, maybe hundreds, of other threads and the one time someone really needs it, they would be entirely unaware that it even exists.
For me, and many others, recovery requires daily maintenance- this is just one way to keep mine fresh.
Have a wonderful day, my friend.
Cool, new avatar there, ghost. Almost looks like a thumbprint, too. Neat-o!
Thank you!!!!That's awesome adk! Congratulations to you, too.
Hiya Hon!
Thanks for stopping by. Always a pleasure!
Hiya kelli. Merry Christmas!
kelli
Vapid Vapetress
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What if your problem was not a drug or alcohol related one? What if you suffer from depression so dark that every day, you wish it was your last? I married a wonderful woman, BUT her family is Satan in all forms. They have spread lies, bullshit, and false accusations about me for 20 years. They mislead and decieved us in every concievable way. And I pretended to ignore it because I did not want to hurt or leave my wife.
My own family in N.C. totally disowned me because of who I voted for in the presidential elections. Won't even send me a xmas card. That in itself is pretty pathetic, but I said fuck 'em, don't have to give them the time of day.
But my wife's family is different. It is too hard to just ignore them, and it's really destroying my will. I told my wife that we are going to have to get the fuck away from these evil people, or I will die before I'm 55. And some of the accusations they labeled me with are so despicable, so disgusting, I cannot talk about them without breaking down. How can people be so cruel, and just say shit that is not even remotely true?
It has had a profound effect on my life, because I do not go anywhere, or visit anyone, I stay at home hidden inside my house with my 2 dogs. They are the only ones I open up to, because how the fuck do you talk o people about this shit? I don't believe in shrinks, they are just people paid a high dollar wage to listen, but at the end of the day, the problem is still there.
I was born with a hereditary heart defect, and have had to have triple bypass because of it, and it still was not corrected, just slowed down some. And I wish every day that it would end the misery that I live in, and give me some peace. There are some people on this planet that deserve to be killed, slaughtered and done away with. And I know them personally.
Thanks for being here, Daniel. And thanks for sharing with us. I feel for you- I really do.
As someone in recovery and working a 12 step program, my first reaction would be to recommend searching yourself honestly and trying to see your part in continuing the conflicts then make amends without expectations, but getting to that point comes once you're well into the steps and prepared.
Now, don't get me wrong- I'm not saying ANY of it is your fault nor am I implying that you couldn't handle resolving things that way. You sound like a strong person and it takes a strength many don't have to say, 'Regardless of what's happened in the past, I don't want things to be this way between us. What can I do to make things better?'
No blame. No fault- just a willingness to make things better...
Slipping on my non-recovery hat, I think a good place to start would be talking to clergy- possibly someone non-denominational that isn't bound by one strict set of beliefs.
Many times, worldly problems have a spiritual solution and, if for no other reason, to bring you peace.
Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.
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Believe me, I have tried to make up with these people, & to get along with them, but it always fails miserably. I even had outside family friends tell me that they live on, and thrive on any damage or wreckage they cause. Right now, the only course of action I see possible is to put our escape plan into action after the first of the year, and move away from this shithole by the end of Feb., if not sooner.
I just cannot continue to live in this Hell, & let my wife be subjected to the constant barrage of "suggestions" on how to get rid of me. I really do feel that they have slipped over the edge of sanity, & there is no possible easy solution to this mess other than to just move away, like the rest of the family has been suggesting for 2 years. And no, I DID NOT do anything to these idiots to cause this treatment, they have always been the vindictive, accusatory demons they are. They live on & thrive on chaos & destruction. I just refuse to be subjected to it anymore.
I had never in my life let the thought of suicide creep into my mind, but I swear to God, since their campaign of terror and torment started, it has been a constant thought, just swimming around in my head. And I think the ONLY reasons I have not used one of my guns as a headache removal tool is because of my wife & my dogs, and the thought that they would be left in this mess, & I just cannot put them in that situation. It is just a situation I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Sounds like you have a plan, at least. Hopefully you'll be moving someplace nice and warm!
Good luck and hang in there.
I have been missing around here for a bit. Struggles with my mood and frame of mind in this holiday season have been pressing on me hourly. Daily meetings in my home group help. Still, inaction has been creeping in and I need to overcome it. I often think I and others might benefit if I posted here more often, particularly when I have had something to say to the group but did not get a chance to. Going to make an effort to do that, for what it's worth.
Joyeux noël to you all.
Joyeux noël to you all.
Are you working the Steps with a sponsor?
The reason I ask is the word 'inaction'. My first thought was that it might be time to ramp up work on whatever Step you're on.
An odd truism that I've seen played out time and time again is that whatever Step we're on trends to play itself out in our day to daily lives.
I let changes in work and family responsibilities derail my work on Step 6 and I ended up wallowed in my character defects for months.
Not pleasant.
Anyway, just a thought.
Hope ya had a wonderful Christmas