This thread active anymore? I thought seriously about drinking yesterday, and I had a nightmare just before waking up this morning, this seems like a place to share it.
My daughter was a little older than she is now, probably 6 or 7. She said "I'm afraid I'll never see you again!" and I said "If I ever drink again, you probably won't!"
Then I woke up. Creepy...
Hi, Meg!
Go easy on yourself, ok?
God willing, I'll have ten years sober in May and I STILL have drinking dreams. Not a day goes by that I don't think about drinking in some shape or form. Mostly, the urges are fleeting but some days I have to exercise a little more vigilance.
That used to bother me.
I'd have (what my wife jokingly calls) a 'wet dream' (she's in recovery too) and I'd wake up feeling guilty, that I'd done something wrong. I felt I'd never be able to stay sober. I'd worry that the thoughts of drinking meant I wasn't doing enough. I was envious of the members that shared that their Higher Power had removed the urger to drink. Why hadn't mine? What could I do better? Where am I failing?
The simple answer is, I'm NOT failing. I'm an alcoholic and alcoholics want to drink. Fish want to swim. Birds want to fly.
The difference is that I'm an alcoholic in recovery and I now have the CHOICE whether I drink or not.
God didn't intervene and remove the urge to drink. He didn't take away the dreams.
Ok. So be it.
I'm at a point in my life, and my recovery, where I'm cool with that. The dreams, the urges, they keep me sharp. They keep me from getting lazy. They remind me daily of how far I've come. They keep alive the deep sense of gratitude that I have for my life today.
How great is that, huh?
I get to live every day with a heartfelt thankfulness and recognition of the blessings in my life. Who gets THAT? EVER?
Do you think 'normies' ever get to experience that? Heck no!!!
We are blessed beyond belief and all we have to do is make the right choice, one day, one moment at a time.
Don't drink. Reach out if we need help. Trust in our Higher Power.
If you and I can do those simple things, then we get to live a miracle- the miracle of a life filled with gratitude, purpose and contentment.
We are the lucky ones, you and
@bigdaddybrink1 and I. We are blessed with the challenges that forge character and commitment and awareness of the gifts we've been given.
Embrace the dreams. Embrace the urges to drink.
Use them as the fuel to power you through to the next step.
Please, feel free to post here as often as you need to. No challenge is too small or too great that it can't be shared and a weight shared is a weight lessened.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for being here!