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Redheaded Stepchildren

Hawkizefan

Platinum Contributor
Member For 5 Years
-21 wind chill here today with 2” of new snow on the ground.
know what that means?
no…not fuck Wisconsin…well, hold it. Yes it does. But what that really means is SOUP DAY.

Tomatillo grog on the stove. Flavors melding. I made a BIG pot. Everybody is invited.

Bring crackers.
 

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
koalas are fun, if you watch them eating the tree leaves then their eyes spin them bong they fall our of the tree they get as high as merbear.

did you not tell me merbear had that?
that is a myth

eucalypt does contain compounds that are psychotropic to them. But koalas also have really primitive digestion systems, so that part just passes through and poops out undigested

they take very little substance from food, hence eating so much
 

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
i see victoria has another 8k cases? why did they lift the borders, nsw has 20k!!
partly because we are at 93% double vaxed

partly because the people were at breaking point, or past it

partly from watching other countries set it loose, experience sharp spike then plateu and not such a never ending escalation that they expected

and a bunch of other factors

245 days limited to 5km from home and 2 hours exercise a day was shit

i blame huddy
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile
partly because we are at 93% double vaxed

partly because the people were at breaking point, or past it

partly from watching other countries set it loose, experience sharp spike then plateu and not such a never ending escalation that they expected

and a bunch of other factors

245 days limited to 5km from home and 2 hours exercise a day was shit

i blame huddy
ime double vaxed..but i also blame huddy,,,come on keith ..do you blame huddy?
 

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Good night

David Boon, the former Australian test cricketer has the rona

He holds the world record for most beers ever consumed on a flight from Australia to England. It was around 50 beers

So, my take away is that beer is not an effective home remedy

Neither is obesity

Night
 

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
Elite athletes immaculate physical shape can catch it

0c6f3f1667f1f652f649b723522268ca.jpg
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile
Good night

David Boon, the former Australian test cricketer has the rona

He holds the world record for most beers ever consumed on a flight from Australia to England. It was around 50 beers

So, my take away is that beer is not an effective home remedy

Neither is obesity

Night
nite puppy
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile
that is a myth

eucalypt does contain compounds that are psychotropic to them. But koalas also have really primitive digestion systems, so that part just passes through and poops out undigested

they take very little substance from food, hence eating so much
hey puppy....shhhhhhhh dont spoil it you naughty pup!
 

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years

you probably think that i have NFI what actually happened, don't you knuckles?

i'll tell you... aussie, aussie, aussie, oi, oi, oi. That's what
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile

DogMan

VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
Member For 5 Years
I will preface by saying that I don’t know what constitutes trauma


I spend a lot of time going over old memories. I use the term “ruminating” but I don’t know if that is correct. And don’t think it is correct


Almost all of the memories are from 2008/09 and 2016. The earlier was a period of workplace bullying. The latter was a series of therapist and health appointments. I’ve never really explored them with doctors


The workplace bullying was in a female dominated workplace. I was the only male staff member, other than the handyman. I don’t think it centred around any single topic. Multiple recurring themes within the workplace


The health professional memories relate to my early experience of Hall Rd Medical Centre, and the doctors that Dr Tilly referred me to


The worst of these was Beenish Shahzad.

As discussed in a previous email, I now question how accurate my memory is. But, I will try to briefly describe it as best I can


She told me to sign a form, but would not let me read it


Beenish asked my goals

I said I was only there because Dr Tilly had harassed me for 12 months, and had no goals

She took a history


She got me to describe in as much detail as I could my childhood rape. It was a friend of the family, who had taken us to Lake Epilog. My mother and sisters were in a cabin. Doug and I in a small caravan. I remember being in a pitch black caravan, other than a small black and white TV

Doug was in bed

He told me to remove my pants, because it is more comfortable, and get in bed

I remember arguing, but being easily convinced, and a little entranced

He told me to lay on my side, and focus on the television

He told me to place a pillow under my hip “to get more comfortable”

I argued this, he said just get comfortable, relax, and focus on the television

I complied, being entranced and confused

I thought a poo was coming out, and I sprung to my feet. Saying I need the toilet

He said he couldn’t take me, because he had no pants on

Screaming ensued

Mum came in


I don’t know what happened after that


Beenish cried out “He raped you?!!!!!”

I said yes, in a matter of fact way

Beenish commented that I didn’t sound like I thought it was a big deal, when I should

I told her that the street where I grew up had 4 pedophiles. Everyone knew, but only murmured about it. And I think it was more common in the 1980s

Beenish had a shit fit


She took further childhood history. My mum coming out as lesbian, moving in with her lover and the lover’s son. Then that relationship breaking down and mum leaving along with my younger sister. I had no contact with mum for several years

Beenish kept prying, the burning of old photos. The lies about my birth family. The manipulation to make me work night shifts after school. But taking all my earning, and not even leaving me lunch money

Beenish didn’t take it well. At this point I was calm


She asked about sleep, and things went tits up. I explained that I don’t have sleep patterns. It is completely random, and different every day/night. And that trying to fix that with my first therapist, Paul, led to him deciding it was not worth the stress, and just do whatever. Which is also the conclusion Dr Lim (Psychiatrist) came to after exhaustive stress


She was very condescending. Saying that she can show me studies that sleep is the best thing for me. That all it takes is reading for 20 minutes and then turning the lights off. I reiterated that I had tried it before, exhaustively. It made me worse. She said “I can show you studies”, and when I replied “Please do” she nearly fell off her chair. And refused


I asked her what had changed about sleep in the last 15 years. She cited what new research there was on sleep. I asked how, if I had devoted years before to trying to sleep, would new research mean that the same approach would magically work years later

She ignored my question

I asked again, and again, and again

She said “you can’t treat me like that”

I said “And you can’t refuse to answer my questions”

We yelled back and forth

Again, she cried “You can’t speak to me like that”

I told her that I would treat her with the same respect that she had shown me. Which so far, by refusing questions and not allowing me to read the contract, was none. So I was going to treat her “Exactly like the obnoxious little whore that you are”


Lots of yelling ensued. She rolled her chair towards the door


My memory is foggy from there. But, I tried to leave quickly, she blocked the door and said she just wanted to talk. I pushed her against the door and told her to move

She repeated that she just wanted to talk

I pushed harder

She said that she was pregnant, the door handle was pushing into her womb

I told her that she would very soon be not pregnant, if she did not move

She folded to one side


I don’t know what happened on the way out. Beenish went to Paula’s office crying and shouting at Dr Tilly. Who kept saying “I didn’t know”

Mandy was angry, and said they have CCTV


I left ASAP. I never went back to Dr Tilly


I cannot trust health professionals


If I lay down and try to sleep, before being 100% unable to stand. This and the workplace bullying plays in my head. The lectures about sleep, the shouting and the unpleasant feelings play in my head


I'm also sure that someone commented on McCafe. I had tried to order a repeat prescription online. The system charged my debit card. Then I got told that I had to have a face to face appointment since I have broader issues. Which, whoever it was couldn't give specifics. He started by asking what brought me in today, and I curtly said that he called me in. It was an unpleasant appointment. It was late, maybe 6.30pm. And he said those appointments were for workers. Lectured me about lifestyle and things that I have heard umpteen times. Said that he sees me go into McDonald's. Wouldn't believe that I went to buy black, unsweetened coffee


Yet Allied Health obsess that laying in a dark, quiet room will fix everything. They do not relent, with the exception of Kaitlyn the dietitian, who says routine is different for everyone


I know that there is no way to make money out of forcing someone to sleep at night. So, the only logic is that it makes psychologists etc feel powerful, by controlling every aspect of my life. Timing and similarly between professionals suggests collaboration on control


I tried to raise this with Ganesh. I wrote prior to my first appointment. And made a spreadsheet of thoughts for a month leading up. He said that he is not going to sit down and discuss written material. He preferred talking. But, he does not talk much, beyond "Mmhmm" "Yes" "I understand" and doesn't provide prompts


I can't face psychologists. I can't raise this verbally


These ruminations take up lots of time. On a good week, maybe an hour per day. Then at other times, entire months are spent reliving these most of my waking hours
 

walton

Gold Contributor
Member For 4 Years
New Member
Reddit Exile
I will preface by saying that I don’t know what constitutes trauma


I spend a lot of time going over old memories. I use the term “ruminating” but I don’t know if that is correct. And don’t think it is correct


Almost all of the memories are from 2008/09 and 2016. The earlier was a period of workplace bullying. The latter was a series of therapist and health appointments. I’ve never really explored them with doctors


The workplace bullying was in a female dominated workplace. I was the only male staff member, other than the handyman. I don’t think it centred around any single topic. Multiple recurring themes within the workplace


The health professional memories relate to my early experience of Hall Rd Medical Centre, and the doctors that Dr Tilly referred me to


The worst of these was Beenish Shahzad.

As discussed in a previous email, I now question how accurate my memory is. But, I will try to briefly describe it as best I can


She told me to sign a form, but would not let me read it


Beenish asked my goals

I said I was only there because Dr Tilly had harassed me for 12 months, and had no goals

She took a history


She got me to describe in as much detail as I could my childhood rape. It was a friend of the family, who had taken us to Lake Epilog. My mother and sisters were in a cabin. Doug and I in a small caravan. I remember being in a pitch black caravan, other than a small black and white TV

Doug was in bed

He told me to remove my pants, because it is more comfortable, and get in bed

I remember arguing, but being easily convinced, and a little entranced

He told me to lay on my side, and focus on the television

He told me to place a pillow under my hip “to get more comfortable”

I argued this, he said just get comfortable, relax, and focus on the television

I complied, being entranced and confused

I thought a poo was coming out, and I sprung to my feet. Saying I need the toilet

He said he couldn’t take me, because he had no pants on

Screaming ensued

Mum came in


I don’t know what happened after that


Beenish cried out “He raped you?!!!!!”

I said yes, in a matter of fact way

Beenish commented that I didn’t sound like I thought it was a big deal, when I should

I told her that the street where I grew up had 4 pedophiles. Everyone knew, but only murmured about it. And I think it was more common in the 1980s

Beenish had a shit fit


She took further childhood history. My mum coming out as lesbian, moving in with her lover and the lover’s son. Then that relationship breaking down and mum leaving along with my younger sister. I had no contact with mum for several years

Beenish kept prying, the burning of old photos. The lies about my birth family. The manipulation to make me work night shifts after school. But taking all my earning, and not even leaving me lunch money

Beenish didn’t take it well. At this point I was calm


She asked about sleep, and things went tits up. I explained that I don’t have sleep patterns. It is completely random, and different every day/night. And that trying to fix that with my first therapist, Paul, led to him deciding it was not worth the stress, and just do whatever. Which is also the conclusion Dr Lim (Psychiatrist) came to after exhaustive stress


She was very condescending. Saying that she can show me studies that sleep is the best thing for me. That all it takes is reading for 20 minutes and then turning the lights off. I reiterated that I had tried it before, exhaustively. It made me worse. She said “I can show you studies”, and when I replied “Please do” she nearly fell off her chair. And refused


I asked her what had changed about sleep in the last 15 years. She cited what new research there was on sleep. I asked how, if I had devoted years before to trying to sleep, would new research mean that the same approach would magically work years later

She ignored my question

I asked again, and again, and again

She said “you can’t treat me like that”

I said “And you can’t refuse to answer my questions”

We yelled back and forth

Again, she cried “You can’t speak to me like that”

I told her that I would treat her with the same respect that she had shown me. Which so far, by refusing questions and not allowing me to read the contract, was none. So I was going to treat her “Exactly like the obnoxious little whore that you are”


Lots of yelling ensued. She rolled her chair towards the door


My memory is foggy from there. But, I tried to leave quickly, she blocked the door and said she just wanted to talk. I pushed her against the door and told her to move

She repeated that she just wanted to talk

I pushed harder

She said that she was pregnant, the door handle was pushing into her womb

I told her that she would very soon be not pregnant, if she did not move

She folded to one side


I don’t know what happened on the way out. Beenish went to Paula’s office crying and shouting at Dr Tilly. Who kept saying “I didn’t know”

Mandy was angry, and said they have CCTV


I left ASAP. I never went back to Dr Tilly


I cannot trust health professionals


If I lay down and try to sleep, before being 100% unable to stand. This and the workplace bullying plays in my head. The lectures about sleep, the shouting and the unpleasant feelings play in my head


I'm also sure that someone commented on McCafe. I had tried to order a repeat prescription online. The system charged my debit card. Then I got told that I had to have a face to face appointment since I have broader issues. Which, whoever it was couldn't give specifics. He started by asking what brought me in today, and I curtly said that he called me in. It was an unpleasant appointment. It was late, maybe 6.30pm. And he said those appointments were for workers. Lectured me about lifestyle and things that I have heard umpteen times. Said that he sees me go into McDonald's. Wouldn't believe that I went to buy black, unsweetened coffee


Yet Allied Health obsess that laying in a dark, quiet room will fix everything. They do not relent, with the exception of Kaitlyn the dietitian, who says routine is different for everyone


I know that there is no way to make money out of forcing someone to sleep at night. So, the only logic is that it makes psychologists etc feel powerful, by controlling every aspect of my life. Timing and similarly between professionals suggests collaboration on control


I tried to raise this with Ganesh. I wrote prior to my first appointment. And made a spreadsheet of thoughts for a month leading up. He said that he is not going to sit down and discuss written material. He preferred talking. But, he does not talk much, beyond "Mmhmm" "Yes" "I understand" and doesn't provide prompts


I can't face psychologists. I can't raise this verbally


These ruminations take up lots of time. On a good week, maybe an hour per day. Then at other times, entire months are spent reliving these most of my waking hours
keep strong puppy, you are brave to talk about it. i was in a group called northern knights, we exposed stinking pedos, i hate them.
 

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