Eating in America, with gratitude.
I'm a bit obsessed with two YouTube channels, Eugenia Cooney and Hungry Fatchick. Both have had their channels up for around ten years. Cooney was out for a while when her friends did an intervention that resulted in a 5150 abduction into a hospital psych ward for evaluation, which led to her extended stay at a treatment center. Anybody can look up the facts online by just searching her name. Cooney has never eaten on camera. Her channel is about clothes, makeup, cosplay, though she just did one a couple of days ago about learning to garden.
Hungry Fatchick (Candy Godiva) eats on camera on her mukbangs (eating shows). She has told her story in her videos, of being abandoned as a child, taken in by her grandparents, alternately comforted with food and put on diets so strict they caused lifelong damage to her metabolism.
These two women are at opposite ends of the spectrum of dysfunctional relationships with food. Both are very pretty, personable, humble, entertaining, sweet, and they seem kind. It seems remarkable to me that both are still alive. I have no judgment for either of them. Both of them make me think of my own mortality.
At over 400 lbs. Fatchick says she has no issues with blood sugar or blood pressure, but has breathing problems that are evident in her videos, and has been hospitalized a few times for abdominal infections. She has done videos from her hospital bed.
When I look at Cooney, I have to wonder if she has a skeletal deformity that has nothing to do with anorexia. Her lower arms have become more spread out and paddle like as compared to her upper arms, during the years she has been on YouTube. I just don't see how she can go on living if that's really anorexia. Her vids are energetic and chirpy. Girls who starve themselves will usually die young.
I wonder if eating disorders are as prevalent in countries where populations suffer chronic starvation, or if they are the results of so many choices among the abundance we enjoy in our country. Even here, the lowest income people in our population have the highest rates of obesity and diabetes. Altogether it makes me grateful for my relative sanity. I used to wish I could become anorexic just for a while, get used to denying myself food, to going hungry, drinking water. If I had my way with food, I would go the other direction, like Fatchick, eating pasta and a whole pizza for this meal, a big plate of eggs and pancakes for my next meal, 20 tacos for the next one, and so on. She often washes it all down with diet soda.
I believe indulgence is necessary to stay on the healthy path when you love food as much as I do. I like making homemade curry mashed potatoes with peas, sometimes enough for three people as a side, but it's the main dish for me, so I can justify eating it all, with a mini ice cream cone for dessert. It feels kind of like a binge, but without the regret. I thank heavens for ingredients, ideas, choices. I'm grateful for the 210 calorie packet of ramen; grateful for thin pizza crusts I can spread with sauce, top with a sprinkle of cheese and a few jalapeno slices, and enjoy without feeling the least bit deprived. I'm grateful for 50 flavors of sparkling water that contain neither sugar nor artificial sweeteners. I'm grateful for 50 calorie Delizza mini eclairs so I can have TWO eclairs. Two? Two. Even snack foods, organic rice cake minis, 10 calories each in flavors like cinnamon toast and white cheddar. Pickled okra. Food to nourish and nurture, food to bless, food to entertain, glorious food.
Above all I'm grateful for friends to cook for and to share ideas with. I'm grateful for VU friends who share their ideas in this thread.