AndriaD
Yes, I DO wear a mask! I'm vaccinated, too!
VU Donator
Diamond Contributor
ECF Refugee
Member For 5 Years
Not liking that last statement AT ALL Andria!!! You are a much loved member of this thread. I would REALLY, REALLY miss you should that occur!!
Well, I've wanted that several times in my life, but this stupid body just insists on waking up, wanting some liquid recycling -- just as soon as some is removed, it demands that more be consumed.
Frankly, there's only one compelling reason I haven't taken more active steps to make it happen: my personal belief in karma and reincarnation, and that suicide means BEEEEEEP! go back to start, do not collect $200 or a new set of karma, but DO THIS ENTIRE SHIT-STORM OF A LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN.... and that prospect has about as much appeal as having a 2nd appendectomy without benefit of morphine or anesthesia.
I tried drugging myself to death first, but the repercussions of a druggie's lifestyle are just too uncomfortable; then I tried drinking myself to death, but all the nausea and vomiting makes that one especially unpleasant; finally gave up the coffin nails, mostly because when my dad died, I saw firsthand what a smoker's death looks like and it's just flat horrible, so when vaping turned out to be a legitmate way of actually ditching that addiction, I jumped on it. Having finally beat all those addictions, I may have a good chance of a much better life, next time around the wheel, none of these addiction issues to drag me down like a fucking millstone around my neck. Maybe I'll even have *nurturing* parents and thus no serious emotional baggage to cart around for the rest of that life and get in the way of almost everything good. I'm getting close to 56 yrs of this shit, so maybe I won't have much longer to endure it, without needing to take the shortcut and doom myself to repeating it all. I have to wonder if maybe that's part of my awful karma this time around, that I ended it prematurely one or more times already, and have just been chasing my tail trying to finally rid myself of this karmic load; I've made a lot of mistakes, sure enough, but hopefully I've learned something from all of them.
Andria