ALLOW
Cancer helped me realise that I've experienced anxiety all my life, it just looked different than the typical symptoms of anxiety that we think of when we think about being in this state. When I was first diagnosed, I dove right into researching and learning as much as I could about cancer, how and why it developed, why it could have developed in me, and what I could do to help my body heal and prevent it from ever coming back again. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was definitely a symptom of my anxiety and trying to bring a little more control to a situation that feels so wild.
Becoming an active patient and learning how to help yourself is one of the best and most important things you can do on a cancer journey in my opinion, but I let it stray into the realm of the unhelpful for a bit there. For the first year, I tried and mostly succeeded in incorporating into my protocol everything possible that I could find. It included things like high dose vitamin C IVs twice a week, mistletoe therapy every week, hyperthermia every three weeks, weekly colonics, daily coffee enemas, and saunas at least twice a week, plus the conventional parts of treatment I decided to include.
This was doable for the first year, but once I started working more, getting back into acting, and focusing less on cancer, it became a lot more difficult to find the time for all of these things, and that was HUGELY anxiety inducing. I had this great protocol that had been working excellently for me so far, and it was terrifying to think about letting anything from it go. And when I reached the point where I had to do more in a day than just focus on healing and was therefore inevitably unable to do
everything as consistently as I had been, I let myself
have it.
This was incredibly unhelpful and probably had the opposite effect that I was trying to maintain, contributing to my stress instead of to my healing. And while guilt tripping myself and laying down judgements on myself are things that I continue to work on, it has definitely improved over the last year especially. I have found it helpful to say the words below to myself, and if you struggle with similar anxieties and self-imposed pressures surrounding your healing and your protocol, I hope you find them helpful too. You will find you are more productive in this state, but, most importantly, you will find that you are happier and far more effective at healing.
"It's all okay. Time expands to meet my needs. Stop pressuring yourself to do it
all; you have a
life to balance too! You are doing an amazing job, so relax and take the pressure off.
Allow for flow, welcome ease, invite in peace, and practise calm."
Happy Healing
Kale and Mango Smoothie
