This is sooo true
ALLOW, RELEASE, LET GO
This week was one big bag of mixed emotions. It was my 5-year cancerversary, as you will see in the blog below, which always brings up a whole mess of different things. Excitement that I finally made it to this milestone, sadness that it’s a milestone that is a part of my life at all, pride at all I’ve done to get here, astonishment at the journey I’ve had so far, and of course that ever-present apprehension and fear, because cancer is one unpredictable biatch.
But what added to this mix was that I got some news that was pretty disruptive to me and what has been my routine way for the past 5 years of monitoring for any sign of cancer trying make a comeback. The same testing I have relied on looks like it won’t be as readily available anymore, and it sent me reeling into feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear that threatened to ruin the celebratory mood that had been building all week in anticipation of my cancerversary extravaganza weekend that I have planned.
Some very helpful conversations later with some of the most wonderful people in my life and on my healthcare team, and I’m feeling much better. But what also helped was taking an hour on Friday morning for some yoga and meditation, two things that I have unfortunately been putting on the back burner for the last 6 weeks while we’ve been moving, the school year was ending, and I’ve been in a generally transitional period. The yoga video I was following was “
Yoga for When You’re in a Bad Mood” on the Yoga With Adriene YouTube channel (my absolute fav and one to check out if you haven’t already!). At the end of video, she said four little words that I’ve been reflecting on since: allow, release, let go. They felt applicable to me in that moment and to my experience with cancer in general.
One of the most beneficial things I have learned to do from my cancer journey is to allow the belief that things are working out as they are meant to and for some good. It definitely doesn’t always feel that way, but if I look back on the last five years, I know that although there have been a lot of things I wish I never had to go through, I have also benefitted in a lot of ways from my experience with cancer. On the days when I’m spiralling, like for those 24 hours this week, reminding myself of this and allowing that belief to flood me once again can be so, so helpful for halting that spiral in its tracks.
Another, much harder, lesson I’ve learned is to release my attempts to control things that I can’t. Like the disruptive news I got this week, there are many things in this life that are simply outside of our control, and when we encounter them, the best thing to do is to pivot towards the things that we
can control. What I can control is the
action I can take in response to the news, the
solutions I can find to the problems the event has produced, and the
shifts I can make in how I feel and think about the situation. That has definitely helped me feel less frustration and helplessness and a lot more centred, which is an infinitely more productive place to take action from.
And perhaps the most difficult of them all is to let go of those things that aren’t serving me. This could be people, emotions, past events, unhelpful cycles of thoughts, even a job or other commitment, but in this case, it was definitely emotions. Stress, anxiety, and fear are very difficult places to be and they are also very difficult places to try and think clearly or act logically from. To let them go and settle into as much calm and positivity as possible is going to serve you better every single time. Some days, letting these things go will feel impossible, and that’s okay. Give it some time, some space, and maybe some activities you find grounding like yoga and meditation do for me, and you will reach that point of letting go in your own time.
Allow, release, let go. Simple words, perhaps not so simple actions always; but just reminding myself of these three things has helped me a lot over the last few days. If it was a reminder you needed too, stop right now, take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and repeat those four little words to yourself.
Happy Healing
He was sure to eat a lot of the superfood spinach. 
