It's cold. Like Nebraska cold. I don't live in Nebraska. Go away Nebraska cold.
Morning Knucks
Nebraska cold is "MAN" cold....pioneer cold....the kind of cold that puts hair on your feet and in your upwind ear.
It's the kind of cold that Lewis and Clark braved in search of Hot Native American chicks. The kind of cold that forced johnny Appleseed to stash his many pounds of seeds in his underwear to keep them safe, making walking very difficult and chaffing, but he did it so that today you can enjoy a Fuji or gala nicely sliced atop your cream of wheat in the comfort of your forced air heated home.
Nebraska cold isn't for everyone.....only the determined and the brave.
You'll never see a Kardashian bearing her breasts in Cowpatty in January......it's too cold for her type, but Sally Mae Johnson will show you hers...outside...in the parking lot for a cigarette and the last 2 swallows of your last call Pabst Blue Ribbon. And that right there is that Johnny Appleseed type spirit that makes the long, cold Nebraska winters bearable.
So...sit there in your balmy ivory tower to the east and make disparaging remarks about Nebraska cold.....but know this......after the major rains out west this weekend I fully expect California and a few other states to disappear under water....making my front yard "that" much closer to being beach front property.
Maybe then, I'll let you visit in the winter to bask on the beach. But don't come empty handed. We will need tropical fruit plants here when we're a coastal destination....pineapple for sure...so you can bring some, but to protect them from the brutally cold winters you will have then you'll need to stash them in your underwear to keep them warm and safe.
