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- Thread starter ej1024
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This is How to Snap People Out of Their Assholery
[One hour ago, I squeezed past some gross cow who was gossiping nearish to the grocery checkout lines. She had no food, so I assumed it was safe.]
Her: EXCUSE me.
Me: Oh, you're in line. Sorry about that.
Her [pretty much hip-checking me out of the way]: THANK you.
Me: You're welcome.
[She rolls her eyes and huffs and mumbles.]
It's never a good idea to respond to people like that. And it's a small town, so I can ruin my reputation by getting into it. The trick to keeping calm is to know you can always win. Just knowing you always have the upper hand is good enough.
This is just one way you can quietly win:
You pass out right there in line. Fall to the floor and don't move.
People panic. I have done this before. It's fucking hilarious.
While you're laying there motionless with your eyes closed, you have to remember your script and your correct dazed look. Low blood sugar usually works, especially at a grocery store. It gives you an excuse for "cutting in line" (you're loopy) and makes the asshole realize they could have let you go ahead.
The risks are the reason why simply knowing this works is good enough. Some hero might call 911 and hold you there. In this small town, people will talk. But on the other hand, people suddenly aren't assholes anymore. And after you thank them, you have new friends who will forever be nice to you.
I will be going to hell for stunts like this. But winning is awesome.
[One hour ago, I squeezed past some gross cow who was gossiping nearish to the grocery checkout lines. She had no food, so I assumed it was safe.]
Her: EXCUSE me.
Me: Oh, you're in line. Sorry about that.
Her [pretty much hip-checking me out of the way]: THANK you.
Me: You're welcome.
[She rolls her eyes and huffs and mumbles.]
It's never a good idea to respond to people like that. And it's a small town, so I can ruin my reputation by getting into it. The trick to keeping calm is to know you can always win. Just knowing you always have the upper hand is good enough.
This is just one way you can quietly win:
You pass out right there in line. Fall to the floor and don't move.
People panic. I have done this before. It's fucking hilarious.
While you're laying there motionless with your eyes closed, you have to remember your script and your correct dazed look. Low blood sugar usually works, especially at a grocery store. It gives you an excuse for "cutting in line" (you're loopy) and makes the asshole realize they could have let you go ahead.
The risks are the reason why simply knowing this works is good enough. Some hero might call 911 and hold you there. In this small town, people will talk. But on the other hand, people suddenly aren't assholes anymore. And after you thank them, you have new friends who will forever be nice to you.
I will be going to hell for stunts like this. But winning is awesome.
I see you hank
Hank F. Spankman
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No. You don't.
hi brat
Hank F. Spankman
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HmmmI'm not here. This was just a figment of your crazyass imagination
Ok I'll buy it
Hank F. Spankman
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I've not been in a peopley mood the past couple days. That fucking FDA thread shit, didn't fucking help with that
Understandable!
Put your big boy pants on and come hang out
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f1r3b1rd
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horses wear blinders for a similar reason
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Hank F. Spankman
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Pants? Fuck that
LOL cute.
I am a bit of a Wiccan myself (I do believe in God but also try and practice) I am a member of many fb groups on the subject and I read as much as I can. I do things solo so I don't have a coven (even if I did I'm not sure they'd accept me totally
) I don't play well with others 
(A good thing about myself is I don't push my beliefs on anyone and I don't attend church
)
AndriaD
Yes, I DO wear a mask! I'm vaccinated, too!
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Hmm. At the Aldi we generally shop at, they usually have one, or at MOST, 2 checkout lines open, and almost always, when we have such a small number of items that we didn't even bother getting a cart, people in front of us in the line who have a whole cartful will let us go ahead of them. Is this just a southern thing? You know, courtesy and politeness?
Andria
Yes actually. In northern states, there isn't a lot of politeness.
It's not a common theme here.
So then... power outage at 9 PM sucks.
DVR'd the first nine minutes of the Blacklist season finale... so I got that goin' for me.
(OnDemand to the rescue)
Oh well, had been awake since Midnight, wouldn't have stayed up much later anyway.
(B Nano and Serpent Mini should arrive in about four hours... Woot!)
DVR'd the first nine minutes of the Blacklist season finale... so I got that goin' for me.
(OnDemand to the rescue)
Oh well, had been awake since Midnight, wouldn't have stayed up much later anyway.
(B Nano and Serpent Mini should arrive in about four hours... Woot!)
AndriaD
Yes, I DO wear a mask! I'm vaccinated, too!
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How unfortunate. Though I really didn't notice it, in Michigan; most Michiganians I met seemed as nice as any of my fellow Georgians, they just talked funny.
Andria
Michiganders.How unfortunate. Though I really didn't notice it, in Michigan; most Michiganians I met seemed as nice as any of my fellow Georgians, they just talked funny.
Andria
You just haven't been around up here long enough. There are some decent people here, but most are jerks that are in a hurry.
Does personal time itself contract/expand while waiting for package deliveries?
Would Hawking have an opinion on the matter?
Is Steven just a cybernetic organism by this point, and we're just being fed clues by an alien intelligence?
Am I bored... waiting for vape mail?
C'mon ya bastard... drive faster.
Would Hawking have an opinion on the matter?
Is Steven just a cybernetic organism by this point, and we're just being fed clues by an alien intelligence?
Am I bored... waiting for vape mail?
C'mon ya bastard... drive faster.
AndriaD
Yes, I DO wear a mask! I'm vaccinated, too!
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Michiganders.
You just haven't been around up here long enough. There are some decent people here, but most are jerks that are in a hurry.
I dunno; I lived up there 5 yrs, and I was very pleasantly surprised by how nice the natives were; there's this common stereotype down here that all northerners are rude, insufferable people, but maybe it depends on the location? Most folks in MI were great.
One thing I did NOT find very nice was having my accent laughed at. We might think northerners talk funny, but we don't LAUGH at them, that would be rude.
If you ever meet a southerner exiled up there, don't laugh; tell them how charming their speech is, and you'll have a friend for life. Andria
AndriaD
Yes, I DO wear a mask! I'm vaccinated, too!
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I just wanna see the headline "Kim has giant pumpkin tumor removed from her spine."
Andria
Almost made it an entire day. But BBC's Africa series had a whole episode on that and overpopulation. They're usually pretty good about not harping on that stuff in their animal programs. So they get a pass. Especially due to the constant eye candy.
I just can't get enough of that show and will not spoil any of it for you.
I'm picketing. I don't even know if it's related or not.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hulu FTWSo then... power outage at 9 PM sucks.
DVR'd the first nine minutes of the Blacklist season finale... so I got that goin' for me.
(OnDemand to the rescue)
Oh well, had been awake since Midnight, wouldn't have stayed up much later anyway.
(B Nano and Serpent Mini should arrive in about four hours... Woot!)
