Well I’m hoping and praying for the best... he’s the stepfather to my oldest son and father to my youngest. We have a family together and I don’t want it ruined
All I can offer is my own experience. I went to couple's therapy with my first husband, mainly because I was a drunk and drug addict, and he had NO idea what to do about that. She said I had to go to rehab, so I did, then came home and went to AA meetings everyday. So for that, I thank her, because I met my 2nd husband at those meetings. When I finally came to my senses and realized I was never going to be the person my 1st husband wanted me to be, I asked for a divorce; he said no. I asked for a separation, he said no. So I said the hell with him, and did what I wanted, figuring that eventually he'd get fed up and divorce me, and I was right, because he STILL had no clue what to do with a drunk drug addict -- he THOUGHT he was divorcing me because the therapist said that if I didn't do everything exactly right, he should divorce me, instead of realizing that he was divorcing me because I was tired of trying to be someone I was not and didn't want to be with him anymore. So about 6 months afgter the divorce was final, I married my 2nd husband, with whom I'd already been living since before the divorce was final.
With my 2nd husband, we also went to couple's therapy, because I was so depressed I was about a millimeter from committing suicide, but didn't want to do that to my son, who was 15 at the time. It was also putting a hell of a stress on the marriage, because my husband was as clueless about depression as my 1st husband was about substance abuse -- but the big difference was, neither of us wanted to control the other -- we just wanted to keep our marriage intact because WE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN LIFE, but we both knew that we needed help. And fortunately we got it, and I finally got some antidepressant meds, we worked on our marriage, and things finally got better -- but it wasn't quick nor easy; the couple's therapy took about 6 months, the depression treatment took a couple of years. Now we've been happily married for 32 yrs, but it's not all hearts and flowers -- sometimes we scream and yell at each other because we are REAL PEOPLE who get infuriated with the person we love most in the world -- that's real life. But you don't get a divorce because you get mad at each other. You get a divorce ONLY if there is simply nothing else that can be done. Sorta like when my mom divorced my drunken and abusive dad.
Andria
You’re a great mod! But I’m glad you’re hanging out! 
Ah, memories. 
