Alternate Universe

[kelli]

Yup, exactly . You have to remember though a lot of nights I am up till 3 or 4 in the morn so rising at 10 is just someone else's normal night sleep.

well that certainly splains it. i have to go to bed by 11 cause i get up around 530.

 

[Sambuca]

hi, and hi everybody else too. ♥

a belated hello!

 

[Sambuca]

A lovely Zoop indeed!

Damn, that is a ton of soup though, I'd never eat that much in month.

Also, I dig your disk dryer rack as mine is about 20yrs old. The old style rubber-coated wire type, not the useless plastic kind that is prevalent nowadays.

i rather like that dish rack! it was a gift from a woman i lived with.

the zoop is almost gone.

 

[Sambuca]

i just got a severe case of the sleepies. dammit.

well, it's fts o'c. you may go home and sleep real soon!

 

[Sambuca]

lol!

 

[Sambuca]

Manicure lasted one day @ work. Rip

that's what i forgot today. my manicure!

 

[Sambuca]

Good day everyone .

You know you are going to have an interesting day when your alarm goes off and you get all pissy and shut it off, go back to sleep. Leisurely get up at 10, sit around having coffee and looking at the mountains, play with dogs, go to news site to get caught and see MONDAY NOVEMBER 24 . WTF , really , OMG it's true I am losing my mind. Jesus, Mary and Joseph its a good thing I work for myself. (head desk)

i think that "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" was my mom's favorite way of cursing. look out, when you heard that!

 

[Whiskey]

LOL, your parents and mine too

 

[Sambuca]

LOL, your parents and mine too

we only had mom. dad was a deadbeat. but mom was Catholic, so it was always kind of funny. well, except for me. i was usually the target of said remark.
the beatings soon followed!

and dear old mom thought she could beat me until i stopped crying.

but it was the beatings that were making me cry!

 

[Just Me]

i think that "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" was my mom's favorite way of cursing. look out, when you heard that!

The minute I said that to my kids I KNEW i turned into my mother (not a bad thing IMO)

 

[jensy]

i think that "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" was my mom's favorite way of cursing. look out, when you heard that!

That's funny , I do tend to say it a lot . When my mother used to call my names in a row that is when I ran.

 

[Sambuca]

The minute I sad that to my kids I KNEW i turned into my mother (not a bad thing IMO)

my kids heard much worse!

of course, i still turned into my mother.

sans beatings, though. i have a loud bark!

 

[Whiskey]

we only had mom. dad was a deadbeat. but mom was Catholic, so it was always kind of funny. well, except for me. i was usually the target of said remark.
the beatings soon followed!

and dear old mom thought she could beat me until i stopped crying.

but it was the beatings that were making me cry!

 

[MKPM]

New Classique box on the left, new Aspire Atlantis on the Wizard Box on the right.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Sambuca]

turns out, mom was bi-polar and i was THE trigger. by the time i left home, i had won. i won big time. i was a wee bit of a celebrity.

but i didn't learn much. i've been diagnosed as well, but i think that doctor was incompetent. the drugs he put me on nearly killed me.

but like we are talking about, i soon "became" my mom. looking back, and it's not an excuse for being the asshole i was, but maybe he wasn't too far off.

we became very good friends in the last few years. i got to hear a lot of her life stories. her life was totally messed up. i wish i had known or understood. i talked to my mom a lot! even just 2 days before she died, so the last thing i said to her was i love you.

and i do and always will. my mom was a great human being!

she just had a monster.

 

[jensy]

turns out, mom was bi-polar and i was THE trigger. by the time i left home, i had won. i won big time. i was a wee bit of a celebrity.

but i didn't learn much. i've been diagnosed as well, but i think that doctor was incompetent. the drugs he put me on nearly killed me.

but like we are talking about, i soon "became" my mom. looking back, and it's not an excuse for being the asshole i was, but maybe he wasn't too far off.

we became very good friends in the last few years. i got to hear a lot of her life stories. her life was totally messed up. i wish i had known or understood. i talked to my mom a lot! even just 2 days before she died, so the last thing i said to her was i love you.

and i do and always will. my mom was a great human being!

she just had a monster.

I am so glad you had a chance to get to really know her and to spend time with her before she parted . Your story is sad so I am trying to hold on to the good part .

 

[InMyImage]

Crap, now even movies I enjoy are "classics"

 

[InMyImage]

Its freaky warm today, 60?????? 2 days ago it was 24

Was nice when I left the house, then got really windy. Still felt nice to get out of the house for a bit. Can't believe how many new businesses and restaurants have been built since the last time I was out and about

 

[InMyImage]

Hi Fishee,Ash, Franci, Justme, IMI, Caff, Kelli & everyone I missed!!

 

[Sambuca]

I am so glad you had a chance to get to really know her and to spend time with her before she parted . Your story is sad so I am trying to hold on to the good part .

i spoke with her by phone, but quite often. usually once a week and we would talk for hours. to some extent, my mom was worried that i would die before her. that helped keep the monster at bay. but it was better that i was 3000 miles away.

i'm still learning, though. my last job was medical transportation and i was dumbfounded at how many people suffer from mental illness and it's consequences. when i see what everyone else has gone through, i don't consider that i had it so bad. i learned to fight back like you wouldn't believe. my little brother committed suicide, but he didn't have it as bad as i did. but i had no choice but to fight like hell. i also have 2 twin sisters, gingers, 11 months older than me. they hated me as well. it was an unbelievable battle, but like i said, for the short term, i won.

i was a state chess champ. i was the 1976 Boy of the Year for the Boy's Club and a star pupil in the new Culinary Arts program at the New High School.

i was the one who arranged all of that. then, when the President came to town, my teacher was sick, so i supervised in the kitchen, attended the dinner and was part of the opening ceremonies:

hopefully i'm not the sumbitch i used to be. but i really can't complain. that's why i don't post so much sometimes. i can be very, very aggressive.

i'm trying to be nice nowadays.

doesn't always work.

 

[Sambuca]

missed guy says hi!

 

[InMyImage]

well that certainly splains it. i have to go to bed by 11 cause i get up around 530.

Sicko

 

[InMyImage]

well, it's fts o'c. you may go home and sleep real soon!

Funny, reminds of when I was a teenager working at K-mart and on a co-worker's last day, so played "Take this job and shove-it" over the PA system

 

[Sambuca]

Funny, reminds of when I was a teenager working at K-mart and on a co-worker's last day, so played "Take this job and shove-it" over the PA system

i've had a few days like that.

 

[InMyImage]

That's funny , I do tend to say it a lot . When my mother used to call my names in a row that is when I ran.

We always ran for cover when mom started yelling out my dad's, brother's and my names all at once. Whoever's name was yelled last was in trouble!

 

[jensy]

i spoke with her by phone, but quite often. usually once a week and we would talk for hours. to some extent, my mom was worried that i would die before her. that helped keep the monster at bay. but it was better that i was 3000 miles away.

i'm still learning, though. my last job was medical transportation and i was dumbfounded at how many people suffer from mental illness and it's consequences. when i see what everyone else has gone through, i don't consider that i had it so bad. i learned to fight back like you wouldn't believe. my little brother committed suicide, but he didn't have it as bad as i did. but i had no choice but to fight like hell. i also have 2 twin sisters, gingers, 11 months older than me. they hated me as well. it was an unbelievable battle, but like i said, for the short term, i won.

i was a state chess champ. i was the 1976 Boy of the Year for the Boy's Club and a star pupil in the new Culinary Arts program at the New High School.

i was the one who arranged all of that. then, when the President came to town, my teacher was sick, so i supervised in the kitchen, attended the dinner and was part of the opening ceremonies:

hopefully i'm not the sumbitch i used to be. but i really can't complain. that's why i don't post so much sometimes. i can be very, very aggressive.

i'm trying to be nice nowadays.

doesn't always work.

First of all look at you there. So very handsome ! Wow ,Sambuca that is a story . I think mental illness is much more common than anyone realizes. However, nobody wants to talk about it because it holds a certain stigma, which is plain wrong. It's trendy and good press for big companies to give big checks to Cancer Society , Stroke Foundation etc, etc, but not any kind of mental illness foundation because they just might think they were crazy. For far too long mental illness has been hush, hushed away and the funding minimal but most times when talking with people there is someone in the family that suffers from this. This really has to change. I am very sorry you suffer with this.

Please always keep fighting !!!!!

 

[InMyImage]

i spoke with her by phone, but quite often. usually once a week and we would talk for hours. to some extent, my mom was worried that i would die before her. that helped keep the monster at bay. but it was better that i was 3000 miles away.

i'm still learning, though. my last job was medical transportation and i was dumbfounded at how many people suffer from mental illness and it's consequences. when i see what everyone else has gone through, i don't consider that i had it so bad. i learned to fight back like you wouldn't believe. my little brother committed suicide, but he didn't have it as bad as i did. but i had no choice but to fight like hell. i also have 2 twin sisters, gingers, 11 months older than me. they hated me as well. it was an unbelievable battle, but like i said, for the short term, i won.

i was a state chess champ. i was the 1976 Boy of the Year for the Boy's Club and a star pupil in the new Culinary Arts program at the New High School.

i was the one who arranged all of that. then, when the President came to town, my teacher was sick, so i supervised in the kitchen, attended the dinner and was part of the opening ceremonies:

hopefully i'm not the sumbitch i used to be. but i really can't complain. that's why i don't post so much sometimes. i can be very, very aggressive.

i'm trying to be nice nowadays.

doesn't always work.

Wow, you looked a lot like Charlie Sheen when you were young.

 

[Whiskey]

We always ran for cover when mom started yelling out my dad's, brother's and my names all at once. Whoever's name was yelled last was in trouble!

LOL, THAT too, I gigle when I hear mom go through 3 girls names to get to our only brothers name!!! Haaahahaaaaaaa

 

[Sambuca]

First of all look at you there. So very handsome ! Wow ,Sambuca that is a story . I think mental illness is much more common than anyone realizes. However, nobody wants to talk about it because it holds a certain stigma, which is plain wrong. It's trendy and good press for big companies to give big checks to Cancer Society , Stroke Foundation etc, etc, but not any kind of mental illness foundation because they just might think they were crazy. For far too long mental illness has been hush, hushed away and the funding minimal but most times when talking with people there is someone in the family that suffers from this. This really has to change. I am very sorry you suffer with this.

Please always keep fighting !!!!!

i was a hottie and a bad boy!

there was no lack of women, but they probably suffered because of me.

i think mental illness doesn't get the attention it deserves because men rule the planet. lord knows they cause most of the suffering and the ptsd.

i'm fighting to stay alive! but when i had that job, i taught folks how to get the treatment they deserved. it was easy cuz of my Union experience plus our parent company knew me and thought i was the best driver, dispatcher and scheduler in the business. my phone calls got taken care of.

i try to help, where i can. i'm kind of like dexter , though i heard todd rundgren, say it first. i live in my head. but my brain receptors run really, really fast. it's almost like aspbergers, but i'm not gifted by talent, just by blessings that i have nothing to do with.

but i can get stuff done and change things! it's what i do.

 

[Sambuca]

Wow, you looked a lot like Charlie Sheen when you were young.

charlie sheen?

dude, i was much better looking than him!

 

[Sambuca]

LOL, THAT too, I gigle when I hear mom go through 3 girls names to get to our only brothers name!!! Haaahahaaaaaaa

not so much fun when you are the brother.

 

[jensy]

i was a hottie and a bad boy!

there was no lack of women, but they probably suffered because of me.

i think mental illness doesn't get the attention it deserves because men rule the planet. lord knows they cause most of the suffering and the ptsd.

i'm fighting to stay alive! but when i had that job, i taught folks how to get the treatment they deserved. it was easy cuz of my Union experience plus our parent company knew me and thought i was the best driver, dispatcher and scheduler in the business. my phone calls got taken care of.

i try to help, where i can. i'm kind of like dexter , though i heard todd rundgren, say it first. i live in my head. but my brain receptors run really, really fast. it's almost like aspbergers, but i'm not gifted by talent, just by blessings that i have nothing to do with.

but i can get stuff done and change things! it's what i do.

You re a special guy Sambuca. Just remember we are all here to help you fight if you need it .

 

[Whiskey]

not so much fun when you are the brother.

True

 

[Sambuca]

You re a special guy Sambuca. Just remember we are all here to help you fight if you need it .

thanks jensy! i'm actually here to help others. i've never dealt with my own metal illness. i just consider myself crazy. i DO try to be nicer, though. but i've a split second fuse. i rarely realize it, when i've gone on the attack.

but considering i was near dead a year and a half ago, broke and unemployed and now i have my ssdi, a partial pension and i work from home. i can't complain! i might die, but i won't complain about that either. dying is easy, living is the tough part.

 

[Sambuca]

True

 

[Whiskey]

Snort...........

 

[InMyImage]

i was a hottie and a bad boy!

there was no lack of women, but they probably suffered because of me.

i think mental illness doesn't get the attention it deserves because men rule the planet. lord knows they cause most of the suffering and the ptsd.

i'm fighting to stay alive! but when i had that job, i taught folks how to get the treatment they deserved. it was easy cuz of my Union experience plus our parent company knew me and thought i was the best driver, dispatcher and scheduler in the business. my phone calls got taken care of.

i try to help, where i can. i'm kind of like dexter , though i heard todd rundgren, say it first. i live in my head. but my brain receptors run really, really fast. it's almost like aspbergers, but i'm not gifted by talent, just by blessings that i have nothing to do with.

but i can get stuff done and change things! it's what i do.

Yeah, my company put up with me for 17 years before I went on disability simply because of the fact that I was the best at what I did, and because of my asperger's I didn't have the censor circuits to be worried about pissing off C-level executives, even when I was telling them that they were the problem.

People generally knew that when I was working on a problem, the only thing they could do was stay out of my way and occaisionally bring me some food and something to drink. Other than that all I wanted from them was passwords, and sometimes not even that because I just hacked them... the Feds weren't really happy about that when I was trying to get one of their systems live but sort of forgot about it when I turned a pile of really stinking shit into a creme brulee.

The funny thing is that even though I generally view people as obstacles to solving problems, I have this need to please them and am really only happy when I'm working on solving some sort of problem which is why the memory issues I have a bit of a blessing because I don't feel the constant drag of boredom like I did after my prior short term disability stints after surgeries that caused me to return to work to soon simply because I couldn't stand not working anymore.

 

[MKPM]

I was always surprised when mum could remember all of my names.

 

[Sambuca]

Yeah, my company put up with me for 17 years before I went on disability simply because of the fact that I was the best at what I did, and because of my asperger's I didn't have the censor circuits to be worried about pissing off C-level executives, even when I was telling them that they were the problem.

People generally knew that when I was working on a problem, the only thing they could do was stay out of my way and occaisionally bring me some food and something to drink. Other than that all I wanted from them was passwords, and sometimes not even that because I just hacked them... the Feds weren't really happy about that when I was trying to get one of their systems live but sort of forgot about it when I turned a pile of really stinking shit into a creme brulee.

The funny thing is that even though I generally view people as obstacles to solving problems, I have this need to please them and am really only happy when I'm working on solving some sort of problem which is why the memory issues I have a bit of a blessing because I don't feel the constant drag of boredom like I did after my prior short term disability stints after surgeries that caused me to return to work to soon simply because I couldn't stand not working anymore.

i never had that need to please people.

i spent my time making every job easier and better. if i couldn't stand a place, i usually left after 1 day. if i stayed, it was my way or the highway.

i worked waaay past my when my disability was an issue. but i was a driver, i shouldn't have.

 

[Whiskey]

Time to get outta here, you guys have a great night

 

[Sambuca]

Time to get outta here, you guys have a great night

g'night.

 

[InMyImage]

i never had that need to please people.

i spent my time making every job easier and better. if i couldn't stand a place, i usually left after 1 day. if i stayed, it was my way or the highway.

i worked waaay past my when my disability was an issue. but i was a driver, i shouldn't have.

Didn't really have choice since I can't stand or sit upright very long. As a consultant who travelled the world for a living and worked 60-80 hour weeks in computer data centers deploying, upgrading, migrating, and fixing enterprise systems for the fortune 500, standing, sitting, and walking were kind of a hard requirement.

Top that off with multiple migraines a week after being on and off of meds for a year and a half, with a couple of month period where I would count the days without a migraine, and I had already pushed the disability envelope to far and wasn't getting any wiggle room on my ability to do my job anymore, no matter how good I was at what I did.

 

[MKPM]

nite nite

 

[InMyImage]

nite nite

Goodnight friar.

 

[MKPM]

No, I was bidding nite to Whiskey

 

[vaperature]

At 7 PM sharp I have to have a drink, except for when I'm on the wagon, but I'm not on the wagon now. So in fifteen minutes . . .

 

[InMyImage]

No, I was bidding nite to Whiskey

Then I rescind my goodnite

 

[Sambuca]

Didn't really have choice since I can't stand or sit upright very long. As a consultant who travelled the world for a living and worked 60-80 hour weeks in computer data centers deploying, upgrading, migrating, and fixing enterprise systems for the fortune 500, standing, sitting, and walking were kind of a hard requirement.

Top that off with multiple migraines a week after being on and off of meds for a year and a half, with a couple of month period where I would count the days without a migraine, and I had already pushed the disability envelope to far and wasn't getting any wiggle room on my ability to do my job anymore, no matter how good I was at what I did.

i was pretty much able bodied. i had a heart attack in 2005. only i didn't know it was a heart attack. i waited the weekend and even worked for for a day and half, after that. by the time a co-worker came and dragged me to the hospital, my valve was 99.9% blocked and the entire inside of my left ventricle is dead. they did angioplasty and put a stent in. i left the hospital AMA, the next morning and returned to work 5 days later. no meds, no nothing.

by 2010 i was back in again. but this time i knew what it was, though it took the staff a few days to figure it out. i was put on meds then, but continued to work. last year they put 2 more stents in. on top of that, i have arrhythmia and hardening of the arteries. my heart function is 20-25%.

then there's the fibromyalgia! lol!

i'm a tough sumbitch, but those days may be over soon.

 

[InMyImage]

Then I rescind my goodnite

Although I have a feeling that you might be busy on another thread for a bit given what I just read about in a discussion of the 4nine and SMPL mods

 

[MKPM]

Och, that was so much rubbish. I would hate to live with that much anger and derision towards other people...known or unknown. I divorced myself from that convo yesterday.