I know the feeling but gave up damned near 20 years ago myself.Being single is fine short term. Long term it sucks like you can't believe. The loneliness one feels even though there are people around you, family within a phone call, becomes an incredible weight to bear. I miss the simple things, like a quick peck on the cheek, a hug, that look that says it all............
Sorry, for being maudlin. I've been single for 22 years. Not all of them by choice. AND, my medications seem to be kicking my ass tonight.
Feeling like you are twisting in the wind is no fun, I found I had to focus on certain things to get me through it.