Oh my gosh, that's tragic, though I must admit, rather comedic in the way you describe it.
Have you ever tried cayenne pepper powder? It doesn't bother birds and insects, but it deters mammals if you just dust it over the plants, and the soil around the plants. Then, whether the munchmouth comes up from underground through a tunnel, or attacks from the outside, they can't handle the cayenne. But then you have to remember when you pick the vegetables, or you'll be the one sneezing, eyes watering, throat on fire.
Just an idea. Love reading your gardening adventures.
I've tried it in the past, or my parents did when growing a small garden out back years ago. It didn't deter the deer, they just sneezed and kept munching.
Was just pissed. I don't expect a perfect garden, but when you put in the amount of hours watering and crap and pulling ridiculous weeds waiting on plants that take months to produce anything - then barely get squat. Watermelons take up a good amount of ground space and to get 1, maybe 2 after months of waiting. Same with the corn. Already suffered through the first issues, the poor pollination which I take blame for. The funky corn smut I dealt with, the added bonus of corn worms on my tomatoes, undersized rotted ears.
Figured by the looks of things at least the second round of corn planted a few weeks after the first was looking promising. Nice healthier looking ears. I think I got 1 ear off the 12 younger plants with quite a few healthy ears trying to mature, then all of them down. Not the old stalks I could've given 2 shits about, no had to be the healthy ones. And with damage done so late in the year, no chance to even replant. Even if the plants did last that long, I wouldn't have melons until November and prolly have snow on the ground by then.
Still can't get any squash replants to grow. Had to replant after everything got decimated mid summer last year around the same time. But replanted both zucchini and patty pan and within a few weeks had healthy plants back to finish the season. Not looking like it this year. The patty pan replants were growing at least, looking good. Idk if it's the extreme heat wave, been under a heat advisory since Monday. Went out today, all 4 patty pan seedlings that were 10" tall or better flopped over deader than shit. Have tried replanting zucchini seeds 3x already and not a single fricken thing has sprouted. Two mounds, 5 seeds each, 3x and not 1 hint of green.
To top it off, half my other shit's disappearing. Planted a whole tub of spinach, around 25 seeds worth, twice. 4 or 5 spindly plants half ass came up. Planted onions, something got them, they disappeared. Planted quite a few more, not one hint of green. Replanted cucumbers, around half a dozen of each variety. The hybrids it was the last of my seeds, planted 6, 4 came up. Out of those 4, 1 left. No sign of the others, they're not laying wilted on top, the tops aren't chomped like birds got them. Just gone. Like a fuckin Houdini garden. At this rate it would be easier to just tear open the seed packs, hold over the garbage and dump straight in. Quite shocked so many things are failing or disappearing or not even sprouting for no apparent reason. You'd think I was planting fricken pencil erasers. And they're all fresh seeds this year.
did that come out right......
Love 
doesn't mean you can't hang on the porches~! May not be happy with you but you are always welcome. 
