I want to preface this more than likely long reply as being part of my grieving process; 7 steps they say… god only knows which one and in which order I am at
But I do know one thing, I need some form of release and no matter the amount of talking I do with the wife or the amount of time consuming activities I have done as of late, I have not openly said or written down or dealt with the loss; which is denial.
This is Jasper-Roo aka Bubs, Boob, bubby, poppa-dopolus… I called him Bubs mostly.
This picture is the day I brought him home in 2008.
Few weeks later, already growing so much.
The crooked tail which never straightened out over the years
And him on his 13th Bday this past August.
His health overall was failing the past year… starting with arthritis in his hips and rear knees, and the typical muscular atrophy older dogs are prone to.
He was a trooper though, always still wanting to walk a ton, which til this past year was 2-4m a day, it was only in the past 6-7 months did it drop from miles to hundreds of feet and the past month, just far enough to clear himself.
He was on a regimen of vitamins most his life, all for joint support mostly til the past 6 months where it was pain meds (Tramadol for the bad days, CBD daily for calming) to help mitigate the pains. This is where my heart began to break… for I knew the moments were short and the time left even shorter.
The wife and I made sure to give him everything+… and he learned that just a second whine got more
and a third, fourth…
This is my bubs Monday 11/1 a hour before the vet arrived to end his suffering, I spent the weekend just laying at his side saying my good-byes.
Last Thursday was the day I knew it was time, he stopped eating… and this boy loves food… so I made a call to the vet and they came to do an assessment of him Friday and relayed the bad news… he lost function and feeling to his left rear, swelling was bad in his knees and surgery wasn’t really an option due to age.
I scheduled them back Monday 1pm and at 13:43 my bubs was at peace.
Again, as I prefaced, this wall of text is just one step in the grieving process… and the past three days I’ve had highs and lows, but with each day it’s more acceptance and less guilt, for the would of and could of in hindsight are evil and cause doubt in the process.
Apologies if I brought the happiness of this thread down.
Anyway, as Forrest Gump famously said, “that’s all I have to say about that”
Love ya Bubs!
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