BUZZING
I've been up since very early this morning, 4:45am early. "On a Sunday??", you may be asking, and I know, usually I'd be right there with you. But today is special. I started work on a new creative project, one I've dreamed of for a long time, and I couldn't wait to get out of bed this morning (if you know me well, you'll now how out of character that is for me ?).
Right now, I'm buzzing. I'm full of energy and passion and excitement. I can feel my cells vibrating with happiness and life. It's a feeling that was difficult to imagine I would ever be lucky enough to feel again after I was diagnosed. Cancer takes a lot away from us, and one of those things is excitement about life. I've come to realize that this taking is also some of the collateral damage that helps cancer out the most in its bid to win the tug of war over our health; when we stop feeling excitement about life, it becomes harder to keep our desire to live alive, and then it becomes much easier for cancer to gain ground.
On this beautiful day, I have two pieces of advice for you. One, as much as you can, keep focused on now, this moment, when life is good and you are safe. And if you don't feel this way about your current situation, never stop dreaming of the future where things get better; stubbornly hold onto it, as long as that vision serves you. Two, and I can't say this emphatically enough, make room in your life for the things that make you feel alive, that make you buzz. Don't let cancer and the challenges of life take away your desire to be here, because you are still here for a reason and that reason is that you have something beautiful and needed to offer the world still. Find what it is; and I can tell you right now that it's whatever sets your cells on fire, in the best way possible.
There comes a time for many of us when we can no longer fight and we feel it's time to go, that our work here is done. That is just as valid a place to be as the opposite end of the spectrum. But if there is even a hint, a whisper of longing for life within you, listen to it, nurture it, and let it buzz to life. It is the sound of a hole in the world calling out to your soul, and your soul responding with, "I'm coming". Follow it.
Happy Healing