Today we’re talking about one of the things everyone should be talking about… But no one does.
Sexual desire. Libido. Sexual response. Orgasms.
Or the lack thereof

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You can’t say we didn’t warn you

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We so often come across female patients who report that their libido seems to be missing in action… They can’t find it anywhere, and it’s been MIA for quite some time.
Sound familiar, Jimi??
If you’re one of the many women who struggle with sexual desire, we know that it can have a serious impact on the relationship with your significant other.
It puts a serious damper on romance and can really take a toll on your mental health.
There are so many reasons why you may be lacking that desire… We’re going to take a look at some of them and some tips on how you can find your AWOL libido.
Fatigue is the most highly reported reason for low sexual desire in our patients.
When you are stressed or sleep-deprived, it causes your adrenal glands to secrete cortisol– the stress hormone.
Cortisol is great when you’re about to be eaten by a lion or hit by a bus– but any other time, it can be bad news.
Cortisol does so many cool things– like protect you in that bus situation…
But it can also do things that aren’t so wonderful– like impact your sex drive and suppress ovulation.
Now, this whole reaction goes back to primitive times– when stress on your body meant that you could be in serious danger or your life was at risk… You know, that whole fight or flight concept??
In those times, high stress and a lot of cortisol told the body that reproducing probably wasn’t a great idea right then.
Which means, that body in crisis wasn’t really interested in canoodling.
And here you are, thousands of years later, living life in a constant state of heightened stress, overwhelm, and fatigue…
So what do you think that means for your sexual desire??
Yep, you guessed it… Gonzo.
So what in the world do you do to get it back??
You have to find some balance in your life. That constant stressful state is wreaking havoc on your entire body– your libido is just part of it.
Balance… Easier said than done, right?
Here are a few things you can do to prioritize your wellness (and reduce your stress and fatigue).
Carve out some time in your day– every day– just for you.
No, folding laundry doesn’t count.
This is quiet time where you hit the “off” button… No problem solving, answering questions, doing chores, helping others… Just time for you.
It can start out as 10 minutes a day– but this is SO important for rewiring your brain. You have to learn to flip that cortisol switch off and on again– instead of it being on 24 hours a day.
Fix those relationship issues…
Find a way to address any underlying issues that could be quietly impacting your desire.
Whether it's financial issues, having more support around the house, or career-related, find the best way for you and your partner to work through those struggles… It could really help get that desire back.
Put that racing brain to good use!
You probably have the constant list of to-dos running through your brain. And that can be really distracting when it comes time for intimacy.
So use that to your advantage… Brainstorm some fun, exciting things you and your partner can do. Give that brain things to do to focus on romance.
You can check out the whole blog series about sexual desire here to get more answers and ideas about how to get your groove back.
In gratitude,
Drs. Wendie and Ed
Five Journeys
P.S. Have other topics in mind that aren’t talked about enough?? We would love to write about them! Send us your ideas at
[email protected].