So unless a person is exhaling and has in their lungs 65 to 70 % alcohol, utterly and physically impossible, well you get the rest im sure.
Mr. Magic's Idiot Wish Granting Emporium
*sign outside tent reading* "Ever felt like a stupid idiot? Ever had any unfulfilled fantasies of idiocy? Step in and five dollars gets your wish!"
[cut to inside tent]
"Here, you breathe I'll strike a match. You can be a dragon. There's one catch though, ..."
"Hell yeah lemme do it!"
"Not interested in the catch?"
"Fuck no, I wanna breathe fire!"
[sound of match striking and exhaled breath followed by a muffled scream and a thud]
[a beat passing]
[bustling fellows hefting body from floor into body bag and zipping it up]
"Yeah guys zip him in quick. Need to get ready for the next sucker. They want to feel what a blender can do to a cucumber."
[Mr. Magic steps to the tent door with a calm smile of wondrous delight on his face]
"Next?"
-- Apologies if my humor is "too dark". Don't like it? Don't read it. Not putting a gun to your head and forcing you in either case, read, or don't.
Please understand as well. It is only that, humor. I am not some sociopath killer. Perhaps had some of my choices been otherwise, I could have been. Point being I'm not.
This is mere fantasy and humor. I do not condone violence nor gratify it. Used to be it was understood freedom of speech allowed one artistic liberty within reason. Humor, as said is all this is even if embellished with some dark artistry.
I am not yelling fire in a crowded theater, threatening a political figure with harm, threatening anyone specifically with harm. Yes, you may be harmed to read dark humor psychologically. Again, it's a choice open to yourself alone. I'm not deliberately acting to cause harm. Humor, a joke that's all it is and will be.
Can't take a joke? You need to do what I did. Go unfuck yourself. No, seriously do it. Go fix whatever is going on with yourself keeping you from taking a joke. We'll wait, ...
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