I and her get along fine as friends, as a couple, ... not married. We get married, it fouls everything up for us. Neither of us is sure how, why, what happens.
We've agreed to live together for now. When we're able, we'll have an amicable divorce. Our grounds are simply irreconcilable differences, we cannot figure out how to "make it work" so we cannot reconcile. Each of us is doing what we believe "right" and what the other sees as that as well.
Maybe we're just "too perfect" to be married. We still communicate, have disagreements, have compromises, have run-of-the-mill. It just, we aren't, "together". Last night, she says, "forget us being on the same team. Are we even on the same field?"
A week or two back, she was sick in bed for two days. She took herself to the E.R. and was told it was a UTI. They give her antibiotics and told her to rest, it would eventually pass.
During those two days, I being charitable, made a sandwich for a homeless person I saw at Gabe's. Well, that of course was the wrong thing to do. I should have been attending her. Honestly, I didn't know what else to do for her. I might have made her meals too.
She's an adult, capable of speaking even despite feeling crappy. She never once asked anything from me. I had no clue she needed or wanted anything, maybe I ought to have. I don't know, honestly. Do know I'm tired of walking on eggshells and always doubting everything I do, say. We're both human beings.
Love is supposed to be forgiving. Humans have faults. She keeps sending mixed messages. One time simply "being there" is worth nothing, the next it is priceless. Damned either way.
And yes, I understand she is a woman and women have the right to change their minds. This goes beyond that. She'll ask my opinion and do the exact opposite anyway. I told her to stop asking me.
Don't know, thought for 20 plus years we were doing at least alright. *smh* Guess not.
.......
