*Gradually appears sitting on edge of the porch, his face revealing he is obviously rubbing, sits observing, grins and stands seeming gradually vanish into thin air after sitting a spell* (soft voice vanishing as he goes) Y'all run 'er slow. Hugs all 'round.
@SteveS45 : Wife picked me up a plastic can of Maxwell House. It ran about $15 she said, adding it ought to have gold flecks in it. Next day while working at Gabe's I saw 1 lb / .5 kilo cardboard cans going for $3 on clearance. Think next pay period I'm going to nab a batch of those for stocking. -- Think it goes without saying, but will, you know I love your cranky butt as well, brother.
@nadalama : This pay period was a check / direct deposit from Gabe's only. Next pay period will be ~$600 from the school system, plus a half check from Gabe's. Wife used most of this period's income for keeping us ahead a bit, leaving a scant bit to get us through the next two weeks.
Then, a pay period after will see one from schools ~$1,200 and a full Gabe's one. She is letting me have allowance again next period. We're getting turned back around, muddling through, as I told her. Dumb me for not blurting that out to her earlier, might have saved a lot of stress, heartaches, deep conversations, debates.
Think I got rather defensive when she seemed to jump down my throat to keep looking for work. The very day I was fired I had 3 applications put in, the next day for, then six, and I kept looking and applying. No one was getting back in touch. She, herself, harps at me to not be worried about stuff beyond my control. Well, having someone contact you to say come for an interview, you got work, or even, you don't ... beyond anyone's control but an employer.
She seemed to think I could just blink and get twenty or thirty jobs handed to me on a plate instantly. One of the maintenance guys for our apartment complex told me it took him 4 months to find his job here. He said I was lucky to get Gabe's in three. People cut back during the Crud, found out less can be made more, keep more money. They don't want to re-hire, pay more for people asking more due to the Crud leaving everyone in a Lurch.
Then, cost of living tripled as well. Folks are being stingy fisted and I figure that ain't simply a trend or fad but going to be "business as usual" from here on out. Close school doors, open prisons, get free or chicken feed cost labor. To borrow a Led Zeppelin title and common expression, "The Song Remains The Same". Don't 'spect it'll eva true change for the best of anybody, save fat cats.
"Second verse, same as first, 'What gonna be will be, evermore'."
Ah yeah, in getting turned back around. She'll need to pay down credit cards. Had no choice but to use them to help stay afloat. *smh* Hate it but what could we do? Saw her mom & dad this weekend. Her dad give me $8, told me to get my snuff. He gave her a bit more, which helped pay fuel costs. She told me coming back, we never ask them for anything, so they don't mind helping once in a while. I agreed and added, unlike the others. She nodded. --- Of course, gotta love another mom.
@Jimi : Re: Tito Santana's quote. I keep trying to live that despite my seeming "doom 'n' gloom" attitude. I think of it more as being practical, realistic. There's only so much one alone can do. Yes, I know I'm not alone. Feel you all around, brother Bear. I appreciate that too. It often makes me smile during a 'rough' day and remember to just sigh, say "Okay." (Okay being from Cherokee meaning "today it is good to die", it was an expression of acceptance as well as standing one's ground.)
Still, in facing what we each take on our plates so to speak, we each face what we face on our own. Then, there's still the whole buffet bar of adversities, mishaps, foul-ups, we each cannot put on our plates. Maybe one day the elephant will get eaten, we all just have to keep on keeping on, a bite at a time.
I love you brother and hope all the best for you and family, friends. Prayer or not, that's always the energy I send out your way. None of us ever have to deserve anything, salvation included, imho. We're all part of the great Eternal Fire, we all are divine but lost here without guideposts to find our way back to it. We got to look out for each other before the Unchanging Darkness comes to look out for us. Keep being that punk spark what ignites the inferno.
ETA: Et al, Apologies for the seeming novel. Not been on much of late as I have been staying busy working. Next week, two twelve-hour shifts split between two jobs again. Add to that about two hours running on a bus, and you can see how I don't get time to break wind, much less look at the forum. Wrote it as short as I could for what needed to be said, a poet at heart, dislike verbal/written diarrhea.